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Senate Majority Leader Checks Himself into Hospital
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 20 Dec 2013 | John Semmens

Posted on 12/22/2013 8:51:45 AM PST by John Semmens

Senator Harry Reid (D-Nev) checked himself into the hospital Friday as a precautionary measure. “Luckily, the senator has the best of healthcare coverage,” said Reid’s greatly relieved spokesman, Adam Jentleson. “We expect he will be back on his feet shortly, but the senator asked that I use this occasion to remind those less well insured to sign up for Obamacare before illness strikes them down.”

Senate Majority Whip Dick Durbin (D-Ill) said that he would be replacing Reid in his absence and urged his fellow senators “to move forward with the vital work to which Senator Reid has given his life, so that his sacrifice shall not have been in vain.”

Senator John McCain (R-Ariz) hastened to be the first Republican to heed Durbin’s call to action. “I don’t know if there ever will be a more appropriate time for us to reach across the aisle and offer a helping hand to build upon the legacy of this great man,” McCain offered. “Just tell me what I need to do.”

In contrast, Senator Ted Cruz (R-Texas) begged to differ, “first of all, Senator Reid didn’t die. So, memorial tributes would seem to be premature. Aside from this, no occasion justifies passing bad legislation. Each bill must be judged on its merits. None should be waved past the finish line as a so-called legacy to some ‘great man.’ Of course, the assertion that Senator Reid’s record has been one of ‘greatness’ is subject to debate.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://azconservative.org/2013/12/20/bill-would-require-state-approval-to-homeschool/


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: arizona; cruz; dickdurbin; harryreid; illinois; johnmccain; mccain; nevada; reid; satire; tedcruz; texas

1 posted on 12/22/2013 8:51:45 AM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

No death panel treatment for Mr Reid. He’s way to valuable to the congress.


2 posted on 12/22/2013 8:54:57 AM PST by duckman (I'm part of the group pulling the wagon!)
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To: John Semmens
No.

The truth is, he was hospitalized for having a HEART that is TWO SIZES TOO SMALL.

I know. I have lived in his district for...long before he was a $enator.

3 posted on 12/22/2013 8:56:01 AM PST by sauron ("Truth is hate to those who hate Truth" --unknown)
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To: John Semmens
LOL!

Whip Dick Durbin and Rimshot Joe Biden. Washington is starting to sound like the Old West.

4 posted on 12/22/2013 8:56:31 AM PST by FlingWingFlyer (Merry Christmas to all my fellow Americans. "Whatever" to everybody else!)
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To: John Semmens
Here is the link for those of you who are interested:

http://azconservative.org/2013/12/20/bill-would-require-state-approval-to-homeschool/

5 posted on 12/22/2013 8:57:50 AM PST by MIchaelTArchangel (Have a wonderful day!)
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To: John Semmens

McCain...just go away. What a sorry bunch he hangs out with.


6 posted on 12/22/2013 8:59:01 AM PST by Conservative4Ever (Dear Santa....I can explain.)
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To: John Semmens

For just a short while, I thought it might end up being a Merry Christmas after all. Oh well, hit and miss.


7 posted on 12/22/2013 8:59:48 AM PST by lee martell
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To: Conservative4Ever

OK...noted the satire label to late. But, my previous comment still holds. :-)


8 posted on 12/22/2013 9:00:19 AM PST by Conservative4Ever (Dear Santa....I can explain.)
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To: John Semmens

When he gets out he can go check himself into a mental hospital


9 posted on 12/22/2013 9:00:53 AM PST by Rome2000 (THE WASHINGTONIANS AND UNIVERSAL SUFFRAGE ARE THE ENEMY -ROTATE THE CAPITAL AMONGST THE STATES)
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To: FlingWingFlyer

“Washington is starting to sound like the Old West. “

Bad guys in the old west didn’t bother pretending to do good works for you. They jubilantly tied young ladies to railroad tracks and twisted their handlebar mustaches while yuking it up at their evil deeds. Congress pretends that what they’re doing is good for us. The sit around thinking up names that are the opposite of describing their legislative slight-of-hand. “Hey, what do you guys think of...get this...AFFORDABLE CARE!?” (Everybody laughs.)


10 posted on 12/22/2013 9:02:09 AM PST by Gen.Blather
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To: John Semmens

Posting from my hospital bed. I’ve been in and out for a few years. Told the nurses that under obamacare I have frequent patient points and next visit I get two days free with no bill.


11 posted on 12/22/2013 9:03:06 AM PST by morphing libertarian
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To: John Semmens

Where is one of those $10,000.00 hammers when you need one....


12 posted on 12/22/2013 9:05:50 AM PST by eartick (Been to the line in the sand and liked it)
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To: John Semmens

Make him pay for his own 0bamacare


13 posted on 12/22/2013 9:16:17 AM PST by Godzilla (3/7/77)
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To: Conservative4Ever

Hard to tell anymore.

Pathetic really.


14 posted on 12/22/2013 9:17:27 AM PST by unixfox (Abolish Slavery, Repeal the 16th Amendment)
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To: sauron

I thought it was for having no brain


15 posted on 12/22/2013 9:20:38 AM PST by bigbob (The best way to get a bad law repealed is to enforce it strictly. Abraham Lincoln)
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To: John Semmens
Actually Harry's darn lucky he represents Nevada. If sickly old Harry represented Alaska, he'd be on the ice floe w/ the rest of the sickly older Eskimos, floating off into the frigid Arctic Ocean w/ nothing on but a sealskin coat and bearskin shorts.

Did'ja hear the latest? Obama is cutting home healthcare under Medicare---he's gotta do something to finance his I-PAB health rationing group.

==========================================

Sen majority leader, Harry Reid, 74, recently said that enrolling in O/Care costs him about $4,500 more than before. But Harry says that's OK b/c the increase is "age-related.”

"Tolerant and compassionate" Obama knows that the most expensive h/care is delivered the last three years of life...so oldsters HAVE to pay more .

Heck, socking Harry w/ a massive increase could even save money. For sure, decrepit Harry will necessitate expensive medical care for diseases of old age including the ones he's being treated for now--- senility, Alzheimer's, dementia, arthritis, osteoarthritis, heart problems, heart attacks, stroke, kidney failure, prostate enlargement, osteoporosis (brittle bones)....etc.

Course, just in case ol' Harry hangs in there, Obamacare's I-PAB kicks in to ration medical care when stubborn old buzzards like Harry insist on getting more healthcare than his lousy $4500 per month entitles him to.

16 posted on 12/22/2013 9:34:07 AM PST by Liz
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To: sauron
The truth is, he was hospitalized for having a HEART that is TWO SIZES TOO SMALL.

'Grinchy Harry'


17 posted on 12/22/2013 9:51:02 AM PST by Vaquero (Don't pick a fight with an old guy. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you.)
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To: John Semmens

Mc Cain just needs to jump parties...do it now...quick hesitating Juan, you know you want to.


18 posted on 12/22/2013 9:53:42 AM PST by Vaquero (Don't pick a fight with an old guy. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you.)
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To: John Semmens

Mental hospital?


19 posted on 12/22/2013 9:54:17 AM PST by GeronL (Extra Large Cheesy Over-Stuffed Hobbit)
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To: John Semmens

Couldn’t it have been the Roach Motel instead of a hospital?


20 posted on 12/22/2013 10:52:12 AM PST by DPMD
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To: John Semmens

Durbin, everytime I see that weasel I cringe.


21 posted on 12/22/2013 10:54:08 AM PST by blondee123 (DICTATORSHIP HAS ARRIVED! Nov. 6, 2012)
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To: John Semmens

My mother always told me, “If you can’t say anything good, don’t say anything at all.”


22 posted on 12/22/2013 12:07:52 PM PST by Bigg Red (He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength.--Is 40)
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To: John Semmens

We expect he will be back on his feet shortly. you just ruined my holiday


23 posted on 12/22/2013 1:54:28 PM PST by ronnie raygun
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To: John Semmens

Mental hospital?


24 posted on 12/22/2013 8:11:00 PM PST by ExCTCitizen (Ben Carson/Rand Paul or Sara/Nikki in 2016)
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To: blondee123

Like you, I live in Illinois. For whom will you vote in the U.S. Senate primary? I’ll vote for State Sen. Oberweis. He’s conservative, and he has more political experience than his primary opponent.


25 posted on 12/23/2013 5:24:02 AM PST by PhilCollins
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