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Man-speech
vanity | 12-28-2013 | Servo1969

Posted on 12/28/2013 1:56:57 AM PST by servo1969

So, one of the Christmas presents I got for my wife is a wax warmer.
My 6-year-old son was walking through the living room today as I was moving it
and he asked, "Daddy, where did you get that for Mommy?"
So I said, "What, this?"
"Yes."
"At the store."
"Oh."
He walked a little further and asked, "What store?"
And I said, "A store that sells these."
"Oh, okay!" and he walked off completely satisfied.
My wife, who had been reading on the couch, began to laugh and said, "What kind of conversation was that?!"
And I jokingly replied, "That's how men talk, baby. You wouldn't understand."
She laughed and replied, "Oh, really?"
And I laughed and said, "Sure! See, we understood each other completely. Even at six he already understands Man-Speech. It's comes from being born with 'testiculars,' don't you know?"
She laughed out loud and replied, "Oh, whatever! Next time you should just grunt at each other."
And laughed I said, "When he's older."


TOPICS: Arts/Photography; Chit/Chat; Health/Medicine; Hobbies; Humor; Miscellaneous; Society
KEYWORDS: daddy; men; son; speech; store; talk; wax; women

1 posted on 12/28/2013 1:56:57 AM PST by servo1969
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To: servo1969

2 posted on 12/28/2013 2:04:52 AM PST by servo1969
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To: servo1969

UHG!

Og go pee outside Cave with Dogs now.

Dogs go UGH 2


3 posted on 12/28/2013 2:07:56 AM PST by mabarker1 (Please, Somebody Impeach the kenyan!!!!)
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To: servo1969

:-)


4 posted on 12/28/2013 2:15:02 AM PST by Bobalu (The true secret to genius is in creativity, not in technical mechanics)
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To: servo1969

LOL! It explains, also, why men are doing well if they can name more than 8 colors. :-D


5 posted on 12/28/2013 2:16:03 AM PST by gemoftheocean (...geez, this all seems so straight forward and logical to me...)
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To: gemoftheocean

Huh...there are more than eight colors?


6 posted on 12/28/2013 2:33:28 AM PST by PoloSec ( Believe the Gospel: how that Christ died for our sins, was buried and rose again)
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To: servo1969

7 posted on 12/28/2013 2:34:35 AM PST by Berlin_Freeper (Mia San Mia)
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To: gemoftheocean

Women come back from looking at possible bridesmaids’ dresses.
Husband: So what did you pick?
Wife: We can’t decide between the puce and the periwinkle.
Husband: Talk in regular colors!


8 posted on 12/28/2013 2:38:56 AM PST by firebrand
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To: servo1969

LOL!

Too true.


9 posted on 12/28/2013 2:47:16 AM PST by Vendome (Don't take life so seriously-you won't live through it anyway-Enjoy Yourself ala Louis Prima)
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To: servo1969
We got our 4 year old daughter Playmobil Circus. I love it.

Playmobil TV-Spot - Germany - Circus
Playmobil - Circus

10 posted on 12/28/2013 2:51:25 AM PST by Berlin_Freeper (Mia San Mia)
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To: servo1969

Tune in tomorrow, when the young lad tries molding bullets out of the hot wax.


11 posted on 12/28/2013 3:03:24 AM PST by Tax-chick ("Try not to get too far ahead in the story. Spoilers abound." ~ Nicknamedbob)
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To: servo1969
I got X Box One - Ryse: Son of Rome - Assassin's Creed 4 Black Flag

Amazon Kindle Paperwhite 2 - Killing Jesus: A History [Kindle Edition]

OtterBox Defender

12 posted on 12/28/2013 3:23:14 AM PST by Berlin_Freeper (Mia San Mia)
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To: servo1969

363 days till Christmas.


13 posted on 12/28/2013 3:28:33 AM PST by Berlin_Freeper (Mia San Mia)
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To: servo1969

14 posted on 12/28/2013 4:42:33 AM PST by Islander7 (There is no septic system so vile, so filthy, the left won't drink from to further their agenda)
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To: Islander7
And the classic "how a woman's mind works":


15 posted on 12/28/2013 4:56:22 AM PST by Gamecock (Celebrating 20,000 posts of dubious quality.)
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To: servo1969

“I’m still a guy” by Brad Paisley

When you see a deer, you see Bambi
And I see antlers up on the wall
When you see a lake you think picnics
And I see a large mouth up under that log

You’re probably thinkin’ that you’re gonna change me
In some ways, well, maybe you might
Scrub me down, dress me up
Oh, but no matter what, remember, I’m still a guy

When you see a priceless French painting
I see a drunk naked girl
When you think that riding a wild bull sounds crazy
And I’d like to give it a whirl

Well, love makes a man do some things he ain’t proud of
And in a weak moment I might
Walk your sissie dog, hold your purse at the mall
But remember, I’m still a guy

And I’ll pour out my heart, hold your hand in the car
Write a love song that makes you cry
Then turn right around, knock some jerk to the ground
‘Cause he copped a feel as you walked by

I can hear you now talkin’ to your friends
Sayin’ yeah, girls he’s come a long way
From draggin’ his knuckles and carryin’ a club
And buildin’ a fire in a cave

But when you say a back rub means only a back rub
Then you swat my hand when I try
Well, now what can I say at the end of the day
Honey, I’m still a guy

And I’ll pour out my heart, hold your hand in the car
Write a love song that makes you cry
Then turn right around knock some jerk to the ground
‘Cause he copped a feel as you walked by

These days there’s dudes gettin’ facials
Manicured, waxed and botoxed
With deep spray-on tans and creamy lotiony hands
You can’t grip a tackle box

Yeah, with all of these men linin’ up to get neutered
It’s hip now to be feminized
But I don’t highlight my hair, I’ve still got a pair
Yeah honey, I’m still a guy

Oh, my eyebrows ain’t plucked, there’s a gun in my truck
Oh thank God, I’m still a guy
Yeah boy


16 posted on 12/28/2013 5:01:27 AM PST by Gamecock (Celebrating 20,000 posts of dubious quality.)
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To: firebrand

Wife: We can’t decide between the puce and the periwinkle.
Husband: Go for the flowers. Flowers has gotta be better than throw-up.


17 posted on 12/28/2013 5:19:36 AM PST by arthurus (Read Hazlitt's Economics In One Lesson ONLINEhttp://steshaw.org/economics-in-one-lesson/)
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To: Gamecock

Your wife is a Pachinko?


18 posted on 12/28/2013 5:20:39 AM PST by arthurus (Read Hazlitt's Economics In One Lesson ONLINEhttp://steshaw.org/economics-in-one-lesson/)
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To: PoloSec

No, there are 8 colors total. RGB for computer monitors is Red, Green, Blue. CMYK for print is Cyan, Magenta, Yellow, and Black. Paper is White.


19 posted on 12/28/2013 5:28:29 AM PST by Anvilhead (In my lifetime we've gone from citizens to subjects.)
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To: Anvilhead

I was thinking Flat Black, Dark Earth, and Olive Drab.

Oh, and “medium-rare”.

Some call it “pink”.

Shows what I know.


20 posted on 12/28/2013 6:04:58 AM PST by FLAMING DEATH (I'm not racist - I hate Biden too!)
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To: Islander7

The “mission” chart is right on the money.....I’ve explained to my daughters: men don’t shop, men buy.


21 posted on 12/28/2013 6:13:07 AM PST by wny
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To: arthurus

Her thought process is!


22 posted on 12/28/2013 7:30:08 AM PST by Gamecock (Celebrating 20,000 posts of dubious quality.)
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To: servo1969

You’re a good man. I love my wax warmer.


23 posted on 12/28/2013 7:45:24 AM PST by CatherineofAragon ((Support Christian white males----the architects of the jewel known as Western Civilization.))
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To: wny; Islander7

Exactly, When ever I tell my wife I am going to the big box store to get some beer and she says I want to go with you I know I am already 45 min behind schedule because she has to get ready. When we get into the store I am heading straight to the beer coolers when she will say I am going to go look for this and that. At that point I tell her I will be outside waiting in the truck with my case of beer. An hour later we are heading back home when she sees the craft store she has not been in for a week and says lets stop here.

Now, when I want to go get beer I just tell her I am going to go gas up the truck and I am back in no time with my beer and catching the actual start of the football game.


24 posted on 12/28/2013 7:46:33 AM PST by Red_Devil 232 (VietVet - USMC All Ready On The Right? All Ready On The Left? All Ready On The Firing Line!)
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To: wny

Women gather, men hunt


25 posted on 12/28/2013 7:48:57 AM PST by AbnSarge
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To: servo1969; mikrofon; martin_fierro
"Oh, okay!" and he walked off completely satisfied.

Made perfect sense to me. Cut to the chase. Make your point. You're in, you're out. Boom.

26 posted on 12/28/2013 9:50:25 AM PST by Charles Henrickson (Short and sweet.)
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To: Charles Henrickson; martin_fierro; servo1969
See, we understood each other completely. Even at six he already understands Man-Speech. It's comes from being born with 'testiculars,' don't you know?"
She laughed out loud and replied, "Oh, whatever! Next time you should just grunt at each other."
And laughed I said, "When he's older."

A grunt & a scratch -- that's usually all you need ....

27 posted on 12/28/2013 9:59:52 AM PST by mikrofon (Direct from the Man-cave...)
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To: servo1969

I explained to two women once how insensitive women were in general since they were reliant on language for communication and men inherently understood each other with very few words needed. They began to berate me, speaking over each other in the process. I smiled and shrugged at the other husband and he laughed, understanding me perfectly. The women grasped how much I had just relayed and had to grudgingly smile as well.


28 posted on 12/28/2013 10:26:03 AM PST by muir_redwoods (When I first read it, " Atlas Shrugged" was fiction)
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To: muir_redwoods

men inherently understood each other with very few words needed.


I have this theory that men are born with only so many words so we tend to conserve. This works well for most men but I did hear of one guy who ran out before his demise.

Grunts are not words so don’t count and repeating something you hear is an echo so those don’t count either.


29 posted on 12/28/2013 10:31:05 AM PST by PeterPrinciple
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