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Difficulty Adding Newborns to Obamacare Not a “Glitch” Says Sebelius
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 3 Jan 2014 | John Semmens

Posted on 01/04/2014 8:32:41 AM PST by John Semmens

While admitting that the process for adding a new baby to a family's Affordable Care Act insurance coverage is “difficult,” Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius denied that it is yet another of a seemingly endless series of “glitches” to the program.

“Though this may come as a shock to some, the world is over-populated,” Sebelius contended. “Adding more people is something we need to discourage. Since we cannot outright restrict family sizes like they do in China we have to make do with a 'second-best' policy. The annoyance and anxiety factors that attend the paperwork aspect of the ACA program are as far as we thought we could go for now.”

“It's not as if the program doesn't provide other options,” the Secretary continued. “The new policies all cover birth control and abortion services at no out-of-pocket cost to the policy holders. We are hopeful that a greater appreciation of the contrast of these free services compared to the extra hassles of obtaining coverage for a socially unnecessary augmentation of the population will push people's decisions in the right direction.”

Criticism of Obamacare's complexities vs. the ease with which families could add a new member under the so-called “substandard” policies in existence prior to enactment of the ACA were dismissed by Sebelius as “short-sighted and selfish. An increase in the population is a matter of collective concern. It shouldn't be easy for individuals to inflict this burden on society.”

In related news, Sebelius insisted that the two hours Dr. John Venetos’ office staff spent on hold trying to get authorization from ACA policy holder Sheri Zajcew’s insurance for surgery “wasn't just wasted time. The majority of surgeries are unwarranted. If this type of miniscule delay can prevent some of them both the patient and America will be better off for it.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/148018-2014-01-03-semi-news-a-satire-of-recent-news-january-5-2014.htm


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: fakebutaccurate; obamacare; population; satire; sebelius; sillybus; surgery

1 posted on 01/04/2014 8:32:41 AM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

John, ya did it again!


2 posted on 01/04/2014 8:37:56 AM PST by miss marmelstein (Richard Lives Yet!)
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To: John Semmens

In Kathleen Sebelius’s Amerika you are supposed to abort babies, not add them to your insurance,


3 posted on 01/04/2014 8:38:19 AM PST by reg45 (Barack 0bama: Implementing class warfare by having no class.)
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To: John Semmens; Revolting cat!; GeronL; Slings and Arrows

It’s a FEATURE.


4 posted on 01/04/2014 8:39:15 AM PST by a fool in paradise ("Health care is too important to be left to the government.")
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To: John Semmens

what an amazingly stupid b#tch…. this admin makes me sooooo angry.

shouldn’t be surprised Sebelius after all presided over lots of abortions in Kansas when there


5 posted on 01/04/2014 8:42:45 AM PST by Nifster
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To: John Semmens

They have zero capacity to update data in real time, and everyone who bills claims knows how much of a disaster this is. People will change coverage, get married or divorced, have babies, become inactive due to non payment... no one will have any clue this has happened. Even if someone has legit coverage in Jan, that doesn’t mean its still good in April. Doctors will get letters months after the fact finding out the coverage was no good, and be left on the hook for costs. You’d have to be crazy to agree to this.


6 posted on 01/04/2014 8:43:14 AM PST by ToastedHead
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To: John Semmens

" Yes, My little liebchen, your lucky to be with us."

7 posted on 01/04/2014 8:43:57 AM PST by jetson (THE)
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To: John Semmens

Well done John.


8 posted on 01/04/2014 8:44:39 AM PST by saywhatagain
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To: Nifster

I love reading these posts. Especially when they get 20-30 deep and people become serious.

As always John, great job!


9 posted on 01/04/2014 8:45:13 AM PST by EQAndyBuzz ("The GOP fights its own base with far more vigor than it employs in fighting the Dims.")
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To: John Semmens

You almost got me on that one!


10 posted on 01/04/2014 8:46:53 AM PST by smokingfrog ( sleep with one eye open (<o> ---)
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To: John Semmens

Lol! I read it like it was real. Excellent.


11 posted on 01/04/2014 8:49:47 AM PST by ToastedHead
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To: John Semmens

Ya almost got me John...but you have key words that make me look for ye old satire come on...


12 posted on 01/04/2014 8:50:41 AM PST by Sacajaweau
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To: John Semmens; All

You know, it’s frightening how close satire comes to reality. Even though Sebelius did not say these things outright, they are thin fact the driving force behind the liberal apparatchik. Simply frightening.


13 posted on 01/04/2014 8:52:10 AM PST by 60Gunner (Fight with your head high, or grovel with your head low.)
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To: John Semmens

It’s not a bug, it’s a Feature!

Excellent work as usual, John!


14 posted on 01/04/2014 8:52:46 AM PST by Cyber Liberty (H.L. Mencken: "The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.")
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To: Sacajaweau

“ya almost got me John...:

Before posting, I ALWAYS look for his name. John got me real good about a year ago. I went on and on and on... commenting about his article! Finally some kind hearted FR posted that it was SATIRE. I was red faced for a week. That John of ours!!!


15 posted on 01/04/2014 8:54:04 AM PST by momtothree
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To: John Semmens

When one considers the sheer incompetence of this regime, one is likely to conclude that this account reflects a true characterization of the situation. Before becoming HHS Secretary, Sebilius had a four year track record of screwing up state government websites in Kansas. Baraq Obama could not possibly have appointed anyone less suited for the job than her.


16 posted on 01/04/2014 8:54:35 AM PST by Hoodat (Democrats - Opposing Equal Protection since 1828)
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To: John Semmens

If you’re in a hurry, Sebelius says, it’s not too late to do a post-birth abortion. Obama made another small change to Obamacare to “legalize” it.


17 posted on 01/04/2014 8:59:31 AM PST by Cicero (Marcus Tullius)
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To: John Semmens

Satire isn’t helping babies be more acceptable.


18 posted on 01/04/2014 8:59:34 AM PST by ex-snook (God is Love)
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To: John Semmens

It’s not satire if it’s true.


19 posted on 01/04/2014 9:03:44 AM PST by Safrguns (PM me if you like to play Minecraft!)
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To: ToastedHead

The coverage and processing is done by insurance companies. They had to conform their products to the government mandated coverage, but they still sign up people and process the claims. The issues are related to the gov web site which can’t talk to any other insurance company due to interface issues. Theoretically the inscos will get the premium payments and the people will get the subsidies in tax credits. The system of claim processing at least for now is still run by the incos


20 posted on 01/04/2014 9:06:42 AM PST by kvanbrunt2 (i don't believe any court in this country is operating lawfully anyway)
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To: momtothree

We’ve all been there, mom! John is as good as it gets.


21 posted on 01/04/2014 9:06:57 AM PST by miss marmelstein (Richard Lives Yet!)
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Comment #22 Removed by Moderator

To: John Semmens

You are rolling today...

Target rich environment, eh?


23 posted on 01/04/2014 9:41:48 AM PST by freedumb2003 (Fight Tapinophobia in all its forms! Do not submit to arduus privilege.)
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To: Nifster

You have been punked. I really why people thing that’s funny.


24 posted on 01/04/2014 9:54:07 AM PST by DManA
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