EPA Voids 1905 Law, Cedes Town to Tribe

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 10 Jan 2014 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

The Environmental Protection Agency voided a law passed by Congress in 1905 and awarded the town of Riverton, Wyoming to the Wind River Indian Reservation.

Wyoming Governor Matt Mead (R) questioned the legitimacy of the move asking “since when can a federal agency override an Act of Congress? I mean, if the EPA has objections to an existing law shouldn’t they be asking Congress to revise it? I see nothing in the Constitution granting the EPA the authority they’ve assumed.”

EPA Administrator Lisa Jackson brushed aside Mead’s concerns as “excessively formalistic. The president has stressed that we take a broader view of the concept of environmental justice in our actions. When adherence to an out-of-date statute conflicts with this it is right that we put it aside. Voters elected the President to transform America. That takes precedence over complying with laws passed by white males who are long since dead.”

Jackson says that “the transfer of Riverton to tribal jurisdiction is expected to improve air quality and reduce global warming, as the normal, depressed economic conditions prevalent on Indian reservations are usually associated with fewer vehicle emissions. When more of a town’s businesses shut down and workers are laid off there’s less need to drive. Remember, driving is a major cause of society’s ills.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://azconservative.org/2014/01/10/gop-bill-on-obamacare-id-theft-irks-white-house/

[Axenolith]

Or at least with “SATIRE” in the header writ large so X people don’t reply thinking it’s real...

[Stormdog]

You almost got me....

[S.O.S121.500]

‘

[KarlInOhio]

Or at least with “SATIRE” in the header writ large so X people don’t reply thinking it’s real...

And now for something completely different:

Inspector Praline: Next we have number four, 'Semi-News/Semi-Satire'.

Semmens: An, yes.

Praline: Am I right in thinking there's a real satire in here?

Semmens: Yes. A little.

Praline: What sort of satire?

Semmens: Funny satire.

Praline: Is it cooked?

Semmens: No.

Praline: What, raw satire?

Superintendent Parrot looks increasingly queasy.

Semmens: We use only the finest baby satire, dew-picked and flown from Massachusetts, cleansed in the finest quality spring water, lightly killed, and then sealed in a succulent Swiss quintuple smooth treble cream milk chocolate envelope, and lovingly frosted with glucose.

Praline: That's as may be, but it's still satire!

Semmens: What else?

Praline: Well don't you take the news out?

Semmens: If we took the news out it wouldn't be semi-news would it?

Praline: Superintendent Parrot responded to one of those as if was true.

Parrot: Excuse me a moment. (exits hurriedly)

Praline: Well, the Superintendent thought it was an real story. People won't expect there to be a satire in there. They're bound to think it's some sort of mock satire.

Semmens (insulted): Mock satire? We use no artificial humor of any kind!

Praline: Nevertheless, I must warn you that in future you should delete the words 'semi-news/semi-satire', and replace them with the legend, 'crunchy raw not at all news but lots of SATIRE' if you want to avoid prosecution.

Semmens: What about our sales?

Praline: I'm not interested in your sales! I have to protect the general public!

[dayglored]

Oh, FANTASTIC!!! You have hit the nail on the head, and Monty Python’ed it to boot! Very well done Sir!!

[dayglored]

> Your link is labeled “Semi-News/Semi-Satire” but it takes you to “The Arizona Conservative” What are you trying to pull?

John's not "pulling" anything. He writes and publishes his "Semi-News/Semi-Satire” on his “The Arizona Conservative” website, and then posts the individual satirical essays -- IN FULL, mind you -- on FreeRepublic for our enjoyment and amusement.

John is a Conservative treasure.

[dayglored]

Hope you don't mind my answering for you above (#26).

Another good one! I tumbled to it at "...laws passed by white males who are long since dead." While accurate, I don't think she would hesitate to upend and invalidate laws passed by white males who are still quite alive.

[DManA]

Deliberately conflating truth and fiction isn’t clever, it’s idiotic.

[dayglored]

> Deliberately conflating truth and fiction isn’t clever, it’s idiotic.

Humor is a very personal thing, so to each their own. Please enjoy some of the other hundreds of FR threads that are not John's; though perhaps it would be best to avoid those with "satire" or "parody" in the keywords, if it's not to your taste.

Have a great evening!

[DManA]

It would be even better if he put Satire in the title.