Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Your husband doesn’t have to earn your respect
The Matt Walsh Blog ^ | February 22, 2014 | Matt Walsh

Posted on 02/26/2014 3:16:21 AM PST by 2ndDivisionVet

I can’t tell you where I was or who was there or when it happened. I don’t want to add to this guy’s humiliation, so I am keeping this vague and generic. I can simply tell you that, some time ago, I found myself in the same vicinity as another married couple.

I certainly can’t read their minds, and I don’t know what goes on behind the scenes, all I know is that the husband couldn’t seem to utter a single phrase that wouldn’t provoke exaggerated eye-rolling from his wife.

She disagreed with everything he said.

She contradicted nearly every statement.

She even nagged him.

She brought up a “funny” story that made him out to be incompetent and foolish. He laughed, but he was embarrassed.

She was gutting him right in front of us. Emasculating him. Neutering him. Damaging him.

It was excruciating.

It was tragic.

It also was, or is becoming, pretty par-for-the-course.

The respect deficiency in our culture has reached crisis levels.

I’ve discussed at length how men should treat women. I’ve written about the lessons I plan to teach my son; lessons about how he should love, honor, respect, serve, and protect the women in his life. Indeed, men need to respect women, and we, as men, are far from perfect in that regard.

Those posts — the ones where I call on us men to improve the way we treat women — tend to be very popular. They’re popular when I write them or when anyone writes them. Proclaim that women, mothers, and wives should be respected, and a chorus will shout ‘amen.’ Every day on Facebook brings us another viral post excoriating men and supporting women. I’ve written a few of them myself.

But I’ve noticed that the corollary – a message about the respect women must give men, a message challenging wives and encouraging husbands – isn’t quite so palatable for many people. Disrespect for men has become standard practice. That scene I witnessed was sad but unremarkable; we’ve all watched that kind of thing play out a thousand times over. Men are disrespected by their wives – they’re disrespected publicly, they’re disrespected privately, they’re disrespected and then told that they have no right to be upset about it because they aren’t worthy of respect in the first place.

Disrespect for men is a joke to us now. A little while ago I stopped on the way home from work to buy my wife some flowers. As she rang me up, the cashier quipped: “Uh-oh, what’d you do?” I wasn’t particularly amused, but I chuckled. She continued. “I don’t know if this will be enough to get you off the couch tonight!”

Ah, yes, the old “husband is punished by his wife and sent to the couch” meme. I’m not sure if this actually happens in real life, or if it’s an invention of 90′s “all men are fat, witless, oafs” sitcoms, but the popularity of the stereotype is telling. Is this how we see husbands now? A man gets “in trouble” with his wife, she scolds him and puts him in time-out on the couch. Now he has to placate his alpha-bride by showering her with flowers and jewelry.

Men are painted like children or dogs. They can be shooed off of their own beds by their wives and sent to cower in the living room until she permits him to return. This is only slightly less offensive than the cliché of the sadistic wife who punitively withholds sex from her husband. “You didn’t clean the garage like I told you. No sex for you, mister! Next time, follow my instructions!”

Did you ever see this Samsung ad from several months ago?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9HMhSvnbmk

A worthless, grunting, Neanderthal of a husband instantly “evolves” when his wife plugs a contraption into his back. The ad caused a slight dust up when they released it, but nothing — NOTHING — like it would have if the husband and wife had switched roles in this charming piece of viral marketing.

But with men on the receiving end, a few people complained, some angry Youtube comments were posted, Samsung sales were unscathed, and everyone quickly moved on with their lives.

That’s because disrespect for men isn’t exactly a trendy outrage.

These cultural messages aren’t harmful because they hurt my manly feelings; they’re harmful because of what they do to young girls. Society tells our daughters that men are boorish dolts who need to be herded like goats and lectured like school boys. Then they grow up and enter into marriage wholly unprepared and unwilling to accept the Biblical notion that “wives should submit to their husbands” because “the husband is the head of the wife.” [Ephesians 5]

It is a fatal problem, because the one thing that is consistently withheld from men and husbands — respect — is the one thing we need the most.

Yes, need. We need respect, and that need is so deeply ingrained that a marriage cannot possibly survive if the man is deprived of it.

Often, people will say that a husband should only be respected if he “earns” it. This attitude is precisely the problem. A wife ought to respect her husband because he is her husband, just as he ought to love and honor her because she is his wife. Your husband might “deserve” it when you mock him, berate him, belittle him, and nag him, but you don’t marry someone in order to give them what they deserve. In marriage, you give them what you’ve promised them, even when they aren’t holding up their end of the bargain.

This doesn’t mean that a man has a license to be lazy, or abusive, or uncaring. He is challenged to live up to the respect his wife affords him. If his wife parcels out her respect on some sort of reward system basis, the husband has nothing for which to strive. As the respect diminishes, so too does his motivation to behave respectably. Respect is wielded like a ransom against him, and he grows more isolated and distant all the while.

They both swirl in circles around the drain. He fails, so she gives him no respect, and then he continues to fail because he feels disrespected, and she continues to give him no respect because he continues to fail. And so on, and so on, and so on, all the way to the divorce attorney.

The same thing happens with love. If love is unconditional, then the light of love always shines in your marriage, even in its darkest times. But if your love is given in direct proportion to your spouse’s ability to “earn” it, then it will inevitably diminish and fade over time.

Love in a marriage is, as people often point out, a choice. But it’s also a duty. So is respect. I love my wife because I choose to love her. I choose to love her because that is the vow I made; it is my charge, my warrant. Luckily, it’s usually pretty easy to love my wife because she’s kind, warmhearted, and beautiful. But if she becomes less kind, and I withdraw my love because of it, then my love was never love to begin with. It was just a pleasant feeling; a natural response to her nicer tendencies.

This is not to say that women should tolerate a man who fails in his duties, but that her intolerance for his failures can only be constructive if it is rooted in respect. Sadly, many women will approach their husbands and say: “You need to stop doing such and such or start doing such and such, because you’re a failure and I don’t respect you.”

She might not explicitly state this, but it is the message she implicitly sends. There is zero chance that this message will help to heal the damage; it only plunges another dagger into the already gaping wound.

A few months ago I wrote a post about pornography. I stand by every word I typed, but I feel like I could add another couple thousand sentences to the end of it. Ever since I published that piece, I have heard from hundreds and hundreds of men and women on both sides of the porn problem.

Men emailed to tell me that they developed a porn habit and it did great damage to their marriage. But they told me that they resorted to porn after years of being disrespected, shunned and belittled by their wives. They weren’t making an excuse — only offering some perspective and context.

And hundreds of women told me that their husbands developed a porn habit and it caused them to lose all respect for them. This inability to respect their husbands nearly, or in some cases completely, wrecked their marriage.

A vicious cycle. The men didn’t want to fight for a marriage if they weren’t respected, and the women didn’t want to respect men who wouldn’t fight for their marriage. He withholds his love, she withholds her respect. They’ve both set fire to the thing that needs to be fixed.

Respect is our language. If it isn’t said with respect, we can’t hear it. This is why nagging is ineffective and self defeating. This is why statements made in sarcastic tones, or with rolling eyes, will never be received well. We have a filter in our brains, and a statement made in disrespect will be filtered out like the poison it is.

Men are notoriously reluctant to share feelings or display vulnerability. Many times, we keep those inner thoughts locked away — our feelings guarded and hidden — because we know we are not respected. A man will never be vulnerable to someone who doesn’t respect him. Never.

A man isn’t satisfied or content if he isn’t respected. If he can’t find respect where he is, he will seek it somewhere else. This can have disastrous implications for a relationship, but it applies in other areas of life as well. A man is much more likely to stay in a low paying job, a physically demanding job, a dangerous job, or a tedious job, than a job where he isn’t respected.

I’m only emphasizing this because I think it might actually be news to some people. Society does not permit men to be vocal about their need for respect, so the need is often ignored.

I could sit here all day adding “yes, but husbands also need to…” disclaimers. I won’t, because I’ve probably written a dozen or more times on that subject. Every once in a while, I think we should talk about what wives need to do. And here it is. This, above all else. Respect your husbands. Even when he doesn’t deserve it.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Society
KEYWORDS: divorce; marriage; men; women
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-5051-59 next last
It's like reading a coroner's inquest of my first marriage. I'll bet I'm not the only one here who sees it, either.
1 posted on 02/26/2014 3:16:21 AM PST by 2ndDivisionVet
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: 2ndDivisionVet

ping for later.


2 posted on 02/26/2014 3:20:34 AM PST by rlmorel ("A nation, despicable by its weakness, forfeits even the privilege of being neutral." A. Hamilton)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: 2ndDivisionVet
This Valentine's Day, my wife made the observation that the cards for husbands were, on the whole, much nicer. She tells me that they're usually full of digs, supposedly funny and she'll have a difficult time finding one for me. But this year, they were all complimentary or at least mutual digs (e.g. "we may not look like we used to"). We were wondering if it's because the men who trouble themselves to marry these days are no longer marrying the harpies.

I have also noticed that the wives of high earning men NEVER belittle their husbands in front of them. I think that also is a circle. The more the wife respects the husband, the more the husband feels compelled to earn.

3 posted on 02/26/2014 3:28:58 AM PST by old and tired
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: 2ndDivisionVet

Oh yeah, I hear you. Mind you there was a lot more stuff. But this a key piece for me.


4 posted on 02/26/2014 3:30:19 AM PST by The Working Man
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: old and tired; 2ndDivisionVet

Read an article on the internet a while back that said a near 100 percent predictor of divorce is contempt. If the couple had contempt for each other, or one spouse for the other, they were almost certainly headed for divorce. Makes sense. Who would stay with someone they feel contempt for?


5 posted on 02/26/2014 3:54:52 AM PST by Hardastarboard (The question of our age is whether a majority of Americans can and will vote us all into slavery.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: 2ndDivisionVet

I have never married... and when presented with “my choice” of which antidepressant-doped, fat, ignorant, tattooed single mom with 4 kids by 3 ex-husbands I can provide for... it’s a bit of a turnoff to the whole concept of marriage.


6 posted on 02/26/2014 3:56:25 AM PST by Rodamala
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: 2ndDivisionVet

Years ago, I took to heart what Dr. James Dobson said about husbands....
‘More than anything else, a husband wants respect’

Very simple concept, but like the author of this thread, I have seen women absolutely neuter their husbands publicly or privately
to other women.....

Sad


7 posted on 02/26/2014 4:03:49 AM PST by Guenevere
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: 2ndDivisionVet
As she rang me up, the cashier quipped: “Uh-oh, what’d you do?”

I would have terminated the transaction at that point and walked out of the shop. Might have spoken to the manager first and asked whether stereotyping of customers was common in that establishment.

This cr@p will continue for as long as it is allowed.

8 posted on 02/26/2014 4:06:36 AM PST by Arm_Bears (Shoot cops that shoot dogs.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: 2ndDivisionVet

This “marriage” is obviously not a partnership, not a real marriage. The wife either hates her husband for some un-stated reason or, like my first mother-in-law, is on an extended power trip. If I were him, I would claim verbal abuse (with accompanying cell phone voice clips) and divorce her, taking the kids with me. The wife’s actions are also harming their children, who have become accidental victims of her comments.


9 posted on 02/26/2014 4:07:52 AM PST by Pecos (The Chicago Way: Kill the Constitution, one step at a time.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Arm_Bears
This cr@p will continue for as long as it is allowed.

Yup--and the author's admission of "chuckling" even though he wasn't amused didn't help, either.

I would not have chuckled, smiled, or shown any amusement for it at all.

10 posted on 02/26/2014 4:16:06 AM PST by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: 2ndDivisionVet

Interesting perspective. There’s thing I’d point out about using TV ads to gauge cultural trends, though: Most TV ads are targeted at women, not men. For whatever reason, this even applies to TV ads for broadcasts aimed at a male-oriented audience. A perfect case in point was the Tide car in NASCAR. Tide sponsored a NASCAR team for years, and I’m certain there isn’t a single man anywhere whose family uses Tide just because his favorite driver was driving around the track in a bridge orange and yellow car with “TIDE” splashed across the hood.


11 posted on 02/26/2014 4:21:02 AM PST by Alberta's Child ("I've never seen such a conclave of minstrels in my life.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: 2ndDivisionVet

It's like reading a coroner's inquest of my first marriage. I'll bet I'm not the only one here who sees it, either.

Ditto.

12 posted on 02/26/2014 4:27:37 AM PST by garybob (More sweat in training, less blood in combat.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: 2ndDivisionVet
A long long (long!) time ago, when I was a young wife, I rolled my eyes at something my handsome hubby said. At some point later that night he said something to the effect of
that wasn't nice you know, to roll you eyes... and I knew instantly he was right, it wasn't nice! No argument, just respect, and I gladly never did it again! We were married nearly 30 years before I lost my beloved husband to illness, and what makes me happy as I read this death of marriage, is that our kids, and our grand kids are living in households that are also growing nicely with mutual respect as the center core of their success!
13 posted on 02/26/2014 4:45:56 AM PST by GizzyGirl
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: 2ndDivisionVet

bookmark


14 posted on 02/26/2014 5:05:22 AM PST by ItsOurTimeNow ("Scheming demons dressed in kingly guise, beating down the multitudes and scoffing at the wise.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: garybob

Ditto Ditto...


15 posted on 02/26/2014 5:09:14 AM PST by Man from Oz
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

To: 2ndDivisionVet

what pray tell is “respect”


16 posted on 02/26/2014 5:09:17 AM PST by yldstrk (My heroes have always been cowboys)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: 2ndDivisionVet

You are not alone, my friend. I read this and thought “He’s talking about my marriage!”


17 posted on 02/26/2014 5:33:11 AM PST by RightFighter (It was all for nothing.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: 2ndDivisionVet

I’ve found the secret to a happy marriage, as a husband, is to be (self) respect-ABLE, have a good sense of humor, stay sociable with others, and frequently ask myself “who am I being as a husband?” (and then adjust).

Then, her side career as a Professional Contrarian goes on hiatus.


18 posted on 02/26/2014 5:46:58 AM PST by LittleBillyInfidel (This tagline has been formatted to fit the screen. Some content has been edited.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: 2ndDivisionVet

We forget that the only reason society gets away with disrespecting us is that we LET it. If companies that air such insulting ads lost all their male customers, how long do you think they’d keep airing those ads? If TV programs that insult men were loudly and consistently boycotted, how long do you think they’d remain on the air? Women alone aren’t a big enough demographic to support our entire economy. Why are we acquiescing to the destruction of our own power?


19 posted on 02/26/2014 5:52:39 AM PST by IronJack
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Rodamala
when presented with “my choice” of which antidepressant-doped, fat, ignorant, tattooed single mom with 4 kids by 3 ex-husbands I can provide for... it’s a bit of a turnoff to the whole concept of marriage.

You seem to be attracted to the wrong kind of women. If those are your choices, you're making bad choices. Stop using the welfare office for your mate hunting ground. Try going to church to meet someone there.

20 posted on 02/26/2014 5:59:42 AM PST by ladyjane
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: 2ndDivisionVet
“Men are notoriously reluctant to share feelings or display vulnerability. Many times, we keep those inner thoughts locked away — our feelings guarded and hidden — because we know we are not respected. A man will never be vulnerable to someone who doesn’t respect him. Never.”

Over the years, I have always had a chuckle, when this statement is thrown out by women....and so, let a man, admit his inner feelings to his women, he will only find that during the next conflict, that the info will be used against him....any sort of male weakness, as perceived by a women, is a negative.....

21 posted on 02/26/2014 6:05:28 AM PST by B212
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: old and tired

Valentine’s Day is not a real holiday. Just the bastardization of a saints day to make money off of those stupid cards.


22 posted on 02/26/2014 6:10:18 AM PST by gr8eman (Neptune, Titan, stars don't frighten!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: 2ndDivisionVet

Bfl


23 posted on 02/26/2014 6:12:56 AM PST by gaijin
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Arm_Bears

I’d say “no reason... hope you can find a good man some day too”.


24 posted on 02/26/2014 6:15:33 AM PST by MrB (The difference between a Humanist and a Satanist - the latter admits whom he's working for)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: B212
Over the years, I have always had a chuckle, when this statement is thrown out by women....and so, let a man, admit his inner feelings to his women, he will only find that during the next conflict, that the info will be used against him....any sort of male weakness, as perceived by a women, is a negative.....

My wife is one to use this tactic and it has, unfortunately caused a coldness in our 20 year marriage. She often requires of me to cite specifics during an argument. I replied that were I to keep track of the specifics of a grievance, then our marriage was no more.

25 posted on 02/26/2014 6:17:55 AM PST by rjsimmon (1-20-2013 The Tree of Liberty Thirsts)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 21 | View Replies]

To: 2ndDivisionVet

Women will correct, rant and harangue men as much as men will let them. It is part of being a Man to know when she is right and when she is just being...well...a woman. In the one case he performs adjustments to himself and in the other has says “My Immortal and Beloved Darling please STFU.


26 posted on 02/26/2014 6:21:42 AM PST by TalBlack (Evil doesn't have a day job.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: 2ndDivisionVet

I agree wholeheartedly up until the point where he starts quoting the Bible and how women should submit to men, which is utter bullshit. Both men and women need to be completely open to each other with their feelings, which is in a way, I think a form of mutual submission.

At the end, the article continues to push a stereotype - that men are reluctant to share their feelings. Consider that the first half of the article described the common case (I lived it for many years), of wives publicly displaying passive aggressive behavior towards their husbands - interrupting, eye rolling, recounting unflattering stories, etc. Is this what counts as being communicative? Both parties need to regularly start sentences with “this is how I feel...” and “how do you feel...?”. It doesn’t matter if there’s a solution, or whether of not anything comes from it. Communication is priceless. I lived on a diet of “No”, “I don’t know”, “hmmmm”, and silence (at least in private) for almost twenty years until I said “enough”, and filed for divorce.

Now, when I’m with a group of married men, and their commiserating about the lack of sex, the steady stream of “yes dears”, and the continual tap dancing in order to avoid incurring the wrath of their wives, it pains me quite a bit. I do hold my tongue though. Everyone has to walk their own path.


27 posted on 02/26/2014 6:27:17 AM PST by Jack of all Trades (Hold your face to the light, even though for the moment you do not see.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: 2ndDivisionVet

You’re a brave man for posting this :-)

I’m not marriage so my struggle with this area usually manifests itself in the workplace with my attitude toward supervisors . I struggled with the passages in the New Testament about the wife respecting/submitting to their husband until the pastors showed that the word refers to “lining up under authority” (not direct quote), like an enlisted person under the NCO, under the commanding officer, who is uner the authority ultimately of God. When I have trouble with individuals in the chain of command, I have to remember that the L-rd of Hosts is completely trustworthy.

Thanks for the article.


28 posted on 02/26/2014 6:30:42 AM PST by JoyjoyfromNJ (everything written by me on FR is my personal opinion & does not represent my employer)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: 2ndDivisionVet

I’m important! I write a blog!


29 posted on 02/26/2014 6:35:18 AM PST by stuck_in_new_orleans
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: 2ndDivisionVet

The Bible commands husbands to love their wives. Women are made as responders. If he loves you the love will be returned.
Control and ownership have no place in a marriage.
One can never demand respect or submission from a spouse. Where there is love, so those things will fall in place when needed in the marriage.


30 posted on 02/26/2014 6:44:55 AM PST by Ramonne
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: TalBlack

“In the one case he performs adjustments to himself and in the other has says “My Immortal and Beloved Darling please STFU.”

Well, yes, maybe without being vulgar...works at my house.


31 posted on 02/26/2014 7:11:00 AM PST by Blue Collar Christian (Vote Democrat. Once you're OK with killing babies the rest is easy. <BCC><)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 26 | View Replies]

To: 2ndDivisionVet

Remember, the last thing you said that your wife agreed with was when you said, “I DO.”


32 posted on 02/26/2014 7:16:36 AM PST by JayAr36 (When an American dies Obama lies. And lies, and lies and lies forever.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: gr8eman
Valentine’s Day is not a real holiday. Just the bastardization of a saints day to make money off of those stupid cards.

I happen to think Love between a husband and wife is worthy of setting aside a day to honor each other. Yes, we honor each other every day, but life gets busy, and it's nice to have a day where we, as a society, take some time out and show appreciation for our better halves.

And it doesn't have to cost a dime. There've been lots of lean years where I wrote my wife a nice little note and she baked me some heart shaped chicken with a heart shaped cupcake for dessert.

And if you're not taking time out to honor your spouse on this special day set aside to do just that, well, I'm sorry for both you and your spouse.

33 posted on 02/26/2014 7:16:38 AM PST by old and tired
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 22 | View Replies]

To: Jack of all Trades

I hope for your sake you come to the point where you don’t call the word of God bull. It is possible you are taking it out of context. Continuing on in the Word will show you that likewise, husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the Church, even giving up His life for her. It take an understanding that comes from reading the whole thing. If you would read Ephesians 5:22-33 you would see what might be in modern language the requirements of mutual commitment, and that commitment is not to be conditional. If the commitment is conditional, there is no chance of weathering bad times.


34 posted on 02/26/2014 7:21:15 AM PST by Blue Collar Christian (Vote Democrat. Once you're OK with killing babies the rest is easy. <BCC><)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 27 | View Replies]

To: Blue Collar Christian

Yes, I do believe that for a wife to unquestioningly accept and obey everything that a husband says is bunk, likewise, that men have superior standing with God.


35 posted on 02/26/2014 8:23:14 AM PST by Jack of all Trades (Hold your face to the light, even though for the moment you do not see.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 34 | View Replies]

To: Jack of all Trades
likewise, that men have superior standing with God.

They have the greater responsibility before God. The standing is the same: Gal 3:28-29.

I do believe that for a wife to unquestioningly accept and obey everything that a husband says is bunk

That is you reading into the text.

Eph 5:22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

As the church to Christ is the submission of the wife to her husband, as Christ loves the church so should a man love his wife. When that happens to the extent that it can on this earth, there is the marriage with the love and respect that God desires, and for which mankind yearns.

36 posted on 02/26/2014 8:46:03 AM PST by xone
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 35 | View Replies]

To: xone
Let's not forget the verse before, Ephesians 5:21

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ

37 posted on 02/26/2014 9:17:22 AM PST by tx_eggman (Liberalism is only possible in that moment when a man chooses Barabas over Christ.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 36 | View Replies]

To: tx_eggman

Yes, not specifically to the married but of one to believers to serve each other.


38 posted on 02/26/2014 9:31:48 AM PST by xone
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 37 | View Replies]

To: 2ndDivisionVet; wardaddy

I have no use for feminists, and a lot of the time women in general irritate me. Yes, I said it-—so much for the sisterhood. I’ve seen enough of men portrayed as bumbling fools to know it’s a very real fact, and I hate it.

BUT. Regarding the example of the man who was being publicly “gutted, emasculated, and neutered”: why was he allowing it? Where were his gonads? He just stood there and chuckled like an obliging doormat? For that reason, I have little sympathy for him.

Man up, guys. It’s true that a husband doesn’t have to earn his wife’s respect, but it’s also a sad truth that behaving like a cowed Chihuahua will earn you disrespect.

Case in point-—my brother’s sister and her ex-husband. There was no bad guy in that marriage; they were just two very ill-suited people who should have never married each other. During the divorce, he would get on his knees in front of her and cry and weep and whimper, begging her to take him back. He often called me on the phone and did the same thing....crying and wailing.

There is something about behavior like that from a man that gets in a woman’s soul and irritates the hell out of her. We just do not want to see men behaving like wimps or dishrags or crying babies. I took it as long as I could from my sister-in-law’s ex. Finally I told him that if he EVER wanted to find another woman he was going to have to stop ACTING like one.....he needed to man up and stop the damn bawling.

I understand that many modern women seem to outright despise men. But it’s up to you, men, whether you allow yourselves to be mistreated...or not.


39 posted on 02/26/2014 10:32:05 AM PST by CatherineofAragon ((Support Christian white males----the architects of the jewel known as Western Civilization.))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Jack of all Trades
"I agree wholeheartedly up until the point where he starts quoting the Bible and how women should submit to men, which is utter bullshit."

Well, that's an....interesting....way to describe Scripture.

You remind me of my Christian conservative friend who suddenly told me she's become a "conservative feminist" because she hates the Bible's language toward women, the way men treat women as "objects , etc. Neither one of you has any understanding of the submission verse nor the intended relationship between husband and wife.

That particular reference has nothing to do with being second-class, weak, uncommunicative, or ill-treated.

40 posted on 02/26/2014 10:37:43 AM PST by CatherineofAragon ((Support Christian white males----the architects of the jewel known as Western Civilization.))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 27 | View Replies]

To: old and tired

I disagree 365 times. Everyday should be Valentine’s day if you’re in love!


41 posted on 02/26/2014 11:27:41 AM PST by gr8eman (Neptune, Titan, stars don't frighten!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 33 | View Replies]

To: CatherineofAragon

I’ve always wondered why so many ‘smart’ ‘modern’ women are compelled to actually marry men they can’t actually stand. Did she respect him before marriage? Probably not. Marry him anyways? How dumb was she?


42 posted on 02/26/2014 11:38:18 AM PST by Black Agnes
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 39 | View Replies]

To: rjsimmon
My wife is one to use this tactic and it has, unfortunately caused a coldness in our 20 year marriage. She often requires of me to cite specifics during an argument. I replied that were I to keep track of the specifics of a grievance, then our marriage was no more.

Amen, brother. I've also found there is no statute of limitations on past transgressions I've committed, some going back as far as 30 years. I've learned to live with it...

43 posted on 02/26/2014 11:50:24 AM PST by Night Hides Not (For every Ted Cruz we send to DC, I can endure 2-3 "unviable" candidates that beat incumbents.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 25 | View Replies]

To: gr8eman
Everyday should be Valentine’s day if you’re in love!

But it's not. Kids get sick. They get bad grades and do stupid annoying things. Jobs get stressful. The Visa bill is more than you can pay. In other words, life gets in the way. Just like we all agree we should take some time out for gratitude on Thanksgiving, it's nice if we all take some time out to celebrate the one we love on Valentine's Day.

44 posted on 02/26/2014 12:16:28 PM PST by old and tired
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 41 | View Replies]

To: Black Agnes

Nope, she didn’t respect him then, either, and he was just as much of a crybaby. She was abused in her previous marriage, and said she thought he would be a kind husband.

But she was a professional who didn’t need to jump into marriage or starve.


45 posted on 02/26/2014 12:40:24 PM PST by CatherineofAragon ((Support Christian white males----the architects of the jewel known as Western Civilization.))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 42 | View Replies]

To: Jack of all Trades
Read Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis and then come back to this discussion. Don't worry, it's not very long.
46 posted on 02/26/2014 1:50:34 PM PST by 2ndDivisionVet (I will raise $2M for Sarah Palin's next run, what will you do?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 27 | View Replies]

To: stuck_in_new_orleans

Some of the most famous, wealthy, successful, powerful, well-known and intelligent people on Earth keep a blog, did you know that?


47 posted on 02/26/2014 1:55:12 PM PST by 2ndDivisionVet (I will raise $2M for Sarah Palin's next run, what will you do?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 29 | View Replies]

To: 2ndDivisionVet

When women are young, hot and still putting out the poontang on a regular basis men will put up with a lot. So women get the wrong impression. Around the age of 40 or so when the tang output goes way down and things are starting to sag and bellies get bigger, men lose their willingness to put up with “the bitch”. Once the kids are gone so are they. Sad.


48 posted on 02/26/2014 2:04:57 PM PST by central_va (I won't be reconstructed and I do not give a damn.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: ladyjane

When I moved to this town 3 years ago I quickly found out that the intelligent women that left town to go to college never came back. The economy is fairly depressed, all people do is drink and do bathsalts, every person in front of me in line at Walmart or the Grocery store has an EBT card... and it seems like everyone has “settled for Applebees”.

Church? Do you realize how snarky and cliques church is? I was pawned off on a nice church girl that was not what I would consider as anything but a friend.

I have a new plan though... buy a farm and nest build on my own. If some horsey girl shows up and wants to help me can everything from my garden, or decorate the home with her tschotskies... fine... but I doubt that will happen... it isn’t being a “nattering nabob of negativity”...it’s just the harsh reality of what seems to be out there in the real world of rural NW Pennsylvania.


49 posted on 02/26/2014 3:41:45 PM PST by Rodamala
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 20 | View Replies]

To: Rodamala

Wow - good to hear your side of things. Getting a farm - great idea.

Actually, I have a vague memory of a website for women who want to meet farmers. It might be this one:

http://www.farmersonly.com

There are many single/farmer dating websites. Apparently women really like farmers. IIRC the Wall St. Journal had an article about a website for single farmers. Of couse they made it sound like *the* answer but the website sounded interesting.


50 posted on 02/26/2014 5:02:51 PM PST by ladyjane
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 49 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-5051-59 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson