Posted on 03/02/2014 9:50:58 AM PST by John Semmens
Claiming that “America’s moms are confused and bewildered by the task of selecting from a wide array of non-standardized options when it comes to feeding their families,” First Lady Michelle Obama made a plea for more rigorous government control over what’s available for purchase.
“Reading the labels of multiple alternatives for a single food item is, at best, time consuming,” Michelle complained. “Understanding these labels is also daunting. Is there any mom who can be expected to know how to choose wisely?”
The First Lady suggested that “if nutrition experts were to oversee what’s available we could simplify the process of shopping by eliminating the redundancies of stocking more than one product for each food item. Rather than having to weigh which of a half-dozen cans of beans to buy, the shopper could simply decide whether to buy the only available can that has been certified as the best by the experts.”
“Businesses would also benefit from not having to stock so many items,” she added. “This will save time in purchasing inventory. It will reduce the shelf space needed and lower the real estate costs of grocery stores. If we could convert the unneeded floor space into an area for calisthenics the time moms saved by not having to read product labels could be invested in aerobic exercise that would be of far better benefit to their health.”
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
http://constitutionclub.org/2014/03/01/semi-news-a-satire-of-recent-news-76/
I go in with a menu buy what I need and get out.
You got me again. It’s just too hard to tell anymore!
I admit to doing that myself, but usually because some brand that I used to like decided to start adding something I’m allergic to. Since what I’m allergic to can go by many different names, it really can be confusing.
Eventually, I’m just going to have to grow everything I eat.
I see it mostly in younger women, the ones with 3 or 4 crumb crunchers, I think motherhood is coming back in style among younger white women in my area.
I cook from scratch and generally look for freshness. I found out many years ago that it takes about the same amount of time to cook from scratch than to open a can.
It is funny to watch people shop but then again I am old.
Adams 100% Natural Peanut Butter (regular or crunchy, salted or unsalted) is 100% natural (just peanuts and maybe salt), and it is made by Smuckers. It is available at “regular” grocery stores (i.e. Safeway).
Speak for yourself, Michelle. We need no more food rules from you or Washington.
Make it yourself at home in the food processor.
Peanuts, peanut oil, salt.
Good idea except its below freezing outside and the streets are treacherous. In the meantime I’m eating and enjoying pecans and almonds. yum
Small people who strut and push their chests out. “Look,” they say, “look at me. I will regulate you until you bleed.”
Evil people who know nothing else.
Small people who found themselves at the helm of something larger than they can ever understand. They can either crawl down and manipulate the levers and handles that make the machine move faster or slower, or they can climb up on the seat and hop higher to peer fleetingly out at the world.
Small people. Small in mind, small in heart, emotionally diminished, morally and ethically stunted, small people.
Now those moms are the “knuckleheads” for not knowing how to shop.
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