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Will you get these 20 jokes meant for really brainy people?
The Looking Spoon ^ | 3-12-14 | The Looking Spoon

Posted on 03/12/2014 9:46:13 AM PDT by The Looking Spoon

This has been making rounds. Some are really good, and the others I haven't gotten yet ;-P



TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: brainy; intellectual; jokes
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1 posted on 03/12/2014 9:46:13 AM PDT by The Looking Spoon
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To: null and void

You’ll have to explain 12, 13 and 14 to me.


2 posted on 03/12/2014 9:51:03 AM PDT by Shimmer1 (When you have neither the law nor the facts on your side, pound the table.)
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To: The Looking Spoon

Some of those are just awful. “How could you have mass without me?” And You found Pascal were real groaners.


3 posted on 03/12/2014 9:51:22 AM PDT by Smokin' Joe (How often God must weep at humans' folly. Stand fast. God knows what He is doing.)
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To: The Looking Spoon

these are great!


4 posted on 03/12/2014 9:51:57 AM PDT by Chickensoup (leftist totalitarian fascism is on the move.)
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To: The Looking Spoon

I invented spot remover — Now I can’t find my dog


5 posted on 03/12/2014 9:52:07 AM PDT by areukiddingme1 (areukiddingme1 is a synonym for a Retired U.S. Navy Chief Petty Officer and tired of liberal BS.))
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To: The Looking Spoon

Big list of groaners. #10 sounds like Yogi Berra, though.


6 posted on 03/12/2014 9:52:29 AM PDT by Olog-hai
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To: The Looking Spoon

some of those are quite funny - - the pause before I got them increased their humor value.


7 posted on 03/12/2014 9:53:02 AM PDT by Loud Mime (Character matters for those who understand the concept)
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To: The Looking Spoon

I didn’t get three of them, but 14 was hysterical, on several levels. :-D


8 posted on 03/12/2014 9:53:32 AM PDT by cuban leaf
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To: Shimmer1

14: Pavlovs dog. And it turns out he conditioned himself!


9 posted on 03/12/2014 9:54:09 AM PDT by cuban leaf
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To: The Looking Spoon

Said the Intellectual on stage:

“I know you’re out there...I can hear you breathing”.


10 posted on 03/12/2014 9:55:28 AM PDT by Beowulf9
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To: Shimmer1

12 octal vs decimal.

Octal 31 is decimal 25.


11 posted on 03/12/2014 9:55:48 AM PDT by cuban leaf
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To: reaganaut

Oh, these are bad.


12 posted on 03/12/2014 9:55:53 AM PDT by mrreaganaut (Scott Walker 2016!)
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To: The Looking Spoon

I don’t get them, I’m a Conservative.


13 posted on 03/12/2014 9:56:27 AM PDT by right way right (America has embraced the suck of Freedumb.)
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To: Shimmer1

12. Octal (base 8) 31 is equal to Decimal (base 10) 25.

(3*8) + 1 = 24+1 = 25

13. I don’t get Chomsky either, but Heisenberg is famous for the uncertainty theory.

14. Pavlov experimented with dogs, getting them to associate a bell ringing with being fed. In this joke, he hears a bell (phone) ringing and associates it with feeding the dog. He inadvertently “programmed” himself to respond to the bell.


14 posted on 03/12/2014 9:56:31 AM PDT by SoothingDave
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To: The Looking Spoon

I got them all except #3.


15 posted on 03/12/2014 9:56:32 AM PDT by Blood of Tyrants (Haven't you lost enough freedoms? Support an end to the WOD now.)
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To: Olog-hai

Big list of groaners. #10 sounds like Yogi Berra, though.


That’s because you’re not smart enough. :-P


16 posted on 03/12/2014 9:56:50 AM PDT by cuban leaf
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To: Chickensoup

“these are great!”

Was bedeutet das? “Great” in the sense that they were extremely witty, or as a remark during an all-night drinking party?

Because they are all hilariously funny after about the fourth beer and a shot.

Just before the blackout stage.


17 posted on 03/12/2014 9:57:41 AM PDT by alloysteel (Obamacare - Death and Taxes now available online. One-stop shopping at its best!)
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To: The Looking Spoon
If I think they're not funny does it mean I'm stupid?
18 posted on 03/12/2014 9:57:48 AM PDT by vigilante2 (Re-elect nobody)
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To: cuban leaf

Nobody’s smarter than Yogi Berra!


19 posted on 03/12/2014 9:57:57 AM PDT by Olog-hai
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To: Blood of Tyrants

I had a hard time with the “logician” ones.


20 posted on 03/12/2014 9:58:11 AM PDT by cuban leaf
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To: Blood of Tyrants

They can’t know if they “all” want a beer until all three have made their decision. So the third one can say “yes.”


21 posted on 03/12/2014 9:59:01 AM PDT by SoothingDave
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To: Borges

These are pretty funny.


22 posted on 03/12/2014 9:59:54 AM PDT by wideawake
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To: cuban leaf

The one about the programmer and loaves of bread was very good.


23 posted on 03/12/2014 9:59:59 AM PDT by Loud Mime (Character matters for those who understand the concept)
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To: SoothingDave

I think it’s because Chomsky is a linguist and he said the joke was not told correctly.


24 posted on 03/12/2014 10:00:20 AM PDT by morphing libertarian
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To: Shimmer1

#12 Count in Octal (0-7) 31 equals decimal 31.

#14 Pavlov has inadvertently trained himself to feed the dog when he hears a bell.


25 posted on 03/12/2014 10:00:53 AM PDT by Blood of Tyrants (Haven't you lost enough freedoms? Support an end to the WOD now.)
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To: alloysteel

hilariously funny after about the fourth beer and a shot.

Just before the blackout stage

_______________________

Piker.


26 posted on 03/12/2014 10:00:57 AM PDT by Chickensoup (leftist totalitarian fascism is on the move.)
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To: cuban leaf

ooOOOHHH I get it.... no I don’t get it.... Oh I get it - WOW


27 posted on 03/12/2014 10:01:10 AM PDT by 11th Commandment ("THOSE WHO TIRE LOSE")
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To: The Looking Spoon

These are VERY funny.


28 posted on 03/12/2014 10:01:12 AM PDT by TBP (Obama lies, Granny dies.)
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To: The Looking Spoon

Number 9 sounds like something the Marx Brothers would pull off.


29 posted on 03/12/2014 10:01:52 AM PDT by TBP (Obama lies, Granny dies.)
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To: Shimmer1
#12:

31 in base 8 (oct) is equal to 25 base 10 (dec). FWIW, in math humor that coincidence is really funny.

30 posted on 03/12/2014 10:02:03 AM PDT by grania
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To: The Looking Spoon
My favorite “intellectual” joke is still the one about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac.

He sat up all night wondering if there was a dog.

31 posted on 03/12/2014 10:02:09 AM PDT by CrazyIvan (Obama phones= Bread and circuits.)
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To: Olog-hai
#10 sounds like Yogi Berra

Yes, it does.

32 posted on 03/12/2014 10:02:45 AM PDT by TBP (Obama lies, Granny dies.)
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To: cuban leaf
The first is a joke about quantified logic.

Number 8 is a logical truth statement: the baby can only be a boy or a girl.

33 posted on 03/12/2014 10:02:52 AM PDT by wideawake
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To: Shimmer1

Octal 31 = Decimal 25, I assume


34 posted on 03/12/2014 10:03:04 AM PDT by Scrambler Bob ("The Pen" has a nice ring to it, kind of like "Graybar Hotel")
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To: areukiddingme1

Ouch.

Very Groucho.


35 posted on 03/12/2014 10:03:05 AM PDT by TBP (Obama lies, Granny dies.)
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To: The Looking Spoon

I get them all. Some are more clever than others.


36 posted on 03/12/2014 10:03:14 AM PDT by IronJack
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To: Loud Mime

The one about the programmer and loaves of bread was very good.


Yeah. I turned and told it to two developers having a conversation behind me. At the end they paused, thought about it, and then both broke out in laughter.


37 posted on 03/12/2014 10:03:17 AM PDT by cuban leaf
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To: The Looking Spoon

I’ve lost my train of thought and I wish you were on it.


38 posted on 03/12/2014 10:03:37 AM PDT by TBP (Obama lies, Granny dies.)
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To: Chickensoup

So I asked the physicist, “What’s new.” He said, “C over lambda.”


39 posted on 03/12/2014 10:04:19 AM PDT by Gen.Blather
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To: The Looking Spoon

I get many, but not really the logician ones! Very cute.


40 posted on 03/12/2014 10:04:37 AM PDT by the OlLine Rebel (Common sense is an uncommon virtue./Technological progress cannot be legislated.)
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To: SoothingDave; Shimmer1

Chomsky claims that the reason communism hasn’t been successful is because no one has done it right yet.


41 posted on 03/12/2014 10:04:45 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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To: Blood of Tyrants

I’ll explain 3 to you if you explain 13 to me.


42 posted on 03/12/2014 10:04:58 AM PDT by SpinnerWebb (IN-SAPORIBVS-SICVT-PVLLVM)
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To: Shimmer1

17a. The Monk hands the vendor a $20, and waits, and waits, and waits.

Finally he says, “I’d like change.”

The vendor says, “Change comes from within.”


43 posted on 03/12/2014 10:05:14 AM PDT by null and void ( Obama is Law-Less because Republican "leaders" are BALL-LESS!!)
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To: The Looking Spoon

A thief is crossing the street and is hit by a truck and dies and he finds himself in hell. A devil walks up to him and says:

“You’re just in time, Satan is giving his sermon in the great hall of hell.”

He then leads the thief to the hall and sits him way in back.

The thief then asks the devil why is he sitting in the back, and the devil says:

“We seat people according to how evil they were in life. Since your crime was theft you sit in the back”

The man then asks:

“So what did those people in front of me do?”

The devil says:

“Oh those are all rapists and the ones in front of them are all killers”

The thief then sees people sitting way in the front and Satan is spitting fire and lava all over them as they scream and yell in torture, and the thief wonders what could be worse than killing, so he asks the devil:

“So what did those people in the front row do?”

The devils says;

“Oh those are the people who kept reelecting Nancy Pelosi”

LOL!!


44 posted on 03/12/2014 10:05:16 AM PDT by GrandJediMasterYoda (Hitlery: Incarnation of evil.)
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To: Blood of Tyrants

If L-1 did not want a beer, then he could answer the question “No.” That he didn’t say “No” means that he does want a beer. But he can’t answer “Yes” because he does not know about L-2 & L-3.

Similar for L-2.

But L-3 knows that L-1 and L-2 want beers, because they didn’t say “No.” So he can answer “Yes.”


45 posted on 03/12/2014 10:05:26 AM PDT by JoeDetweiler
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To: Blood of Tyrants
When the first two said "I don't know" it must have meant they were getting a drink, since the question was are they ALL getting a drink. Just one saying no would make the answer to the question "no".

So, the third person knew that the other two were getting drinks, and all he was answering is that he was getting a drink.

46 posted on 03/12/2014 10:06:00 AM PDT by grania
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To: Blood of Tyrants
The logic is that they are focused on the word "all."

The first answers without knowing the answers of the other two, The second one answers without knowing the answer of the third. The third one then answers for all of them.

47 posted on 03/12/2014 10:06:01 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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To: Beowulf9

Once upon a time, there were Western Union telegraph offices in theatre lobbies.

George S. Kauffman was invited to the premiere of “Of Mice and Men”, starring Broderick Crawford.

At intermission, Kauffman went to the Western Union desk in the lobby to send a telegram to Crawford backstage.

It said, “AM OUT FRONT. WISH YOU WERE HERE.”


48 posted on 03/12/2014 10:06:07 AM PDT by TBP (Obama lies, Granny dies.)
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To: SoothingDave

As Tom Lehrer said, base 8 is just like base 10 — if you’re missing two fingers.


49 posted on 03/12/2014 10:06:48 AM PDT by TBP (Obama lies, Granny dies.)
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To: The Looking Spoon

That was fun ‘til I got to Chomsky. That malignant little (&^%^& ruins everything.


50 posted on 03/12/2014 10:07:38 AM PDT by Paine in the Neck (Socialism consumes EVERYTHING)
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