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Will you get these 20 jokes meant for really brainy people?
The Looking Spoon ^ | 3-12-14 | The Looking Spoon

Posted on 03/12/2014 9:46:13 AM PDT by The Looking Spoon

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To: The Looking Spoon

snort

101 posted on 03/12/2014 10:53:25 AM PDT by bgill

I notice that everyone here has an answer for the beer joke. Is it cocktail hour yet?

102 posted on 03/12/2014 10:53:58 AM PDT by Chickensoup (leftist totalitarian fascism is on the move.)

To: Zeneta

You know about the student who answered the test question about how to measure the height of a tall building using a barometer, right?

1. Go to the top of the building.
2. Tie a rope to the barometer.
3. Lower it off the side of the building to the ground.
4. Measure the rope.

103 posted on 03/12/2014 10:54:40 AM PDT by SoothingDave

To: lastchance

Really? Mine is Harvard Law School.

________________

Good. Elegant and to the point.

104 posted on 03/12/2014 10:55:15 AM PDT by Chickensoup (leftist totalitarian fascism is on the move.)

To: JusPasenThru

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a mountain climber?

You can’t. A mountain climber is a scalar.

105 posted on 03/12/2014 10:55:25 AM PDT by SoothingDave

To: CrazyIvan

A dyslexic ran into a bra ...

106 posted on 03/12/2014 10:55:46 AM PDT by Cboldt

To: Shimmer1

Oct 32 = Dec 25 means OCTAL 32 (base 8) is equal to DECIMAL 25 (Base 10)

(3 x 8) + 2 = (2 x 10) + 5

107 posted on 03/12/2014 10:56:21 AM PDT by HamiltonJay

To: Dr. Bogus Pachysandra

Hold up two fingers. Which Roman numeral does it look like?

108 posted on 03/12/2014 10:58:11 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)

To: Shimmer1

Pavlov is known for his experiments where he would ring a bell and feed a dog, after a while the dog learned that the bell meant they would be fed and start to salivate even when no food was present, this has become know as Pavlov’s response. or a Pavlovian response. The joke is a play on his experiment where they are implying he is having a Pavlovian response to feed the dog every time a bell rings.

109 posted on 03/12/2014 10:58:19 AM PDT by HamiltonJay

A plumber would say Yoonyunized, as in being in a union. A chemist would say un-eye-oh-nized, as in not ionized.

110 posted on 03/12/2014 10:59:06 AM PDT by Billthedrill

Chomsky claims that the reason communism hasn’t been successful is because no one has done it right yet.

That's how I took it.

111 posted on 03/12/2014 11:00:17 AM PDT by Half Vast Conspiracy (The bill was the subject of a truly awe-inspiring tsunami of poorly informed indignation. Rich Lowry)

To: wideawake
Number 8 is a logical truth statement: the baby can only be a boy or a girl.

How very closed minded of you. ;)

112 posted on 03/12/2014 11:01:27 AM PDT by Half Vast Conspiracy (The bill was the subject of a truly awe-inspiring tsunami of poorly informed indignation. Rich Lowry)

To: Billthedrill

Thank you.

113 posted on 03/12/2014 11:01:27 AM PDT by Two Kids' Dad

To: The Looking Spoon

Thanks for these ... I sent them to my most intellectual friends (yup, both of them). Bumping for later review of the comments :-)

114 posted on 03/12/2014 11:01:35 AM PDT by Fast Moving Angel (It is no more than a dream remembered, a Civilization gone with the wind.)

To: JusPasenThru
There are 10 types of people, those who understand binary, and those who don’t.

...and those who don't understand that this is a tertiary joke.

115 posted on 03/12/2014 11:01:58 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)

To: JoeDetweiler

Aaaaah.

116 posted on 03/12/2014 11:04:18 AM PDT by Blood of Tyrants (Haven't you lost enough freedoms? Support an end to the WOD now.)

To: The Looking Spoon

I was pseudo-intellectual enough to get most and guess the rest.

117 posted on 03/12/2014 11:08:52 AM PDT by Starstruck (If my reply offends, you probably don't understand sarcasm or criticism...or do.)

To: Shimmer1

#13

Heizenberg is known for the uncertainty principal, which is a quantum mechanical concept that relates to momentum and position... and states that the more certain you are to know ONE of these variable, the less certain you are to know the other hence his line “how can we know this is funny or not” in the joke.

Godel is known for the “Incompleteness Theorem”

For a given (non-trivial) formal system, there will be statements that are true in that system, but which cannot be proved to be true inside the system.

Hence since he is inside the Joke he cannot prove its funny or not because he’s INSIDE THE SYSTEM.

Chomsky is know for the Chomsky hierarchy (occasionally referred to as Chomsky–Schützenberger hierarchy) is a containment hierarchy of classes of formal grammars. So he’s arguing its funny you are just telling it wrong, I am interpreting as a play on bad grammar.

I will yeild to others on the chomsky, but that’s what I read it as.

118 posted on 03/12/2014 11:09:51 AM PDT by HamiltonJay

Already got it Ace. Thanks though! And it was the easiest one. Coffee brewing now!

119 posted on 03/12/2014 11:11:26 AM PDT by Dr. Bogus Pachysandra ( Ya can't pick up a turd by the clean end!)

To: Dr. Bogus Pachysandra

The two fingers were a “V,” Roman numeral for 5.

120 posted on 03/12/2014 11:13:30 AM PDT by IronJack

To: The Looking Spoon

Yes, I got all but about 5, and may get those if I think about them. That doesn’t mean they’re all funny, but some are. Thanks for posting.

121 posted on 03/12/2014 11:15:11 AM PDT by crazycatlady

To the plumber, the word reads “yoonyunized.” To the chemist, it’s “un-eye-un-ized.”

122 posted on 03/12/2014 11:15:30 AM PDT by IronJack

To: IronJack

See post 108
Thanks though! Can;t believe I got the others, and missed that one,,, the very st!

123 posted on 03/12/2014 11:17:48 AM PDT by Dr. Bogus Pachysandra ( Ya can't pick up a turd by the clean end!)

To: cuban leaf

We are running the programmer joke by those who write our specs. We want to know what a software tester would do with those instructions.

124 posted on 03/12/2014 11:20:32 AM PDT by Ingtar (The NSA - "We're the only part of government who actually listens to the people.")

To: Ingtar

I’m a BA. That’s one of the reasons I thought it was so funny. I also wear SA and TA hats from time to time, btw, so that one really did speak to the pitfalls of what I do.

125 posted on 03/12/2014 11:23:20 AM PDT by cuban leaf

To: CrazyIvan
My favorite “intellectual” joke is still the one about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac.

Loved that one a few years ago but now it seems a little tired. Maybe because I'm tired.

126 posted on 03/12/2014 11:36:10 AM PDT by Liberty Wins ( The average lefty is synapse challenged)

To: Olog-hai

Nobody’s smarter than Yogi Berra!
****
That reminds me of an ad for nearby amusement park called Carowinds. The slogan was: “Nothing’s more fun!” So I saved the \$50 admission fee and had more fun at home.

127 posted on 03/12/2014 12:07:14 PM PDT by NCLaw441

Same with turning iron into gold.

128 posted on 03/12/2014 12:09:49 PM PDT by Misterioso

To: Cboldt

One atom says to another, “I think I lost an electron...”

The other one says, “Are you positive?”

129 posted on 03/12/2014 12:11:09 PM PDT by Dead Corpse (Tre Norner eg ber, binde til rota...)

To: SoothingDave

“Descartes responds “I think not” and vanishes into thin air.”

Now that’s a riot.

130 posted on 03/12/2014 12:13:30 PM PDT by dsc (Any attempt to move a government to the left is a crime against humanity.)

To: The Looking Spoon

Noah observes that the rain had stopped, and the Ark was on dry land.

So, he opens the gates and tells all the animals to go forth and multiply.

As he is watching the procession, a couple of snakes go up to Noah and say to him “We’re adders. How can we multiply?”

He goes back into the Ark to get his tools and proceeds to cut down a tree, and builds a table using the branches.

Then, he sets the snakes on the table and says to them...

“There. Even adders can multiply on a log table.”

131 posted on 03/12/2014 12:16:03 PM PDT by Fresh Wind (The last remnants of the Old Republic have been swept away.)

To: Fresh Wind

I should have looked ahead to see where that adder joke was going.

132 posted on 03/12/2014 12:17:51 PM PDT by SoothingDave

To: HamiltonJay

“Godel is known for the “Incompleteness Theorem.” For a given (non-trivial) formal system, there will be statements that are true in that system, but which cannot be proved to be true inside the system.”

Then the proposition that that there is no God could never be proved.

133 posted on 03/12/2014 12:19:50 PM PDT by dsc (Any attempt to move a government to the left is a crime against humanity.)

To: Blood of Tyrants

The first two logicians couldn’t answer the bartenders question until the third one indicated yes. Do ALL OF YOU want a beer?

If either of the first two had answered no, then either the second or the third would have answered no, which is why the third could declare YES. Had either of the first two NOT wanted a beer, the answer to the bartender’s question would be no.

134 posted on 03/12/2014 12:20:09 PM PDT by RinaseaofDs

To: The Looking Spoon

My favorites are 4 and 12.

135 posted on 03/12/2014 12:29:18 PM PDT by MHGinTN (Being deceived can be cured.)

To: The Looking Spoon

All but #13, so I gues I’m super brainy for not wasting brain cells on Chomsky!

136 posted on 03/12/2014 12:32:45 PM PDT by mrsmith (Dumb sluts: Lifeblood of the Media, Backbone of the Democrat Party!)

To: The Looking Spoon

I actually thought 19 was funny.

137 posted on 03/12/2014 12:46:36 PM PDT by zeugma (Is it evil of me to teach my bird to say "here kitty, kitty"?)

To: Billthedrill
"...All right, I'm kidding. Never could tell a joke..."

Hahahahahahaha! Threads like this are why I have stayed on FR all these years...:)

138 posted on 03/12/2014 12:58:00 PM PDT by rlmorel ("A nation, despicable by its weakness, forfeits even the privilege of being neutral." A. Hamilton)

To: Half Vast Conspiracy

Thanx. I didn’t know the other two guys.

139 posted on 03/12/2014 12:58:29 PM PDT by morphing libertarian

To: cuban leaf

My son in college was taking logic. It didn’t make any sense to me - just a bunch of symbols and stuff - could have been hieroglyphics for all I could tell.

His first logics class - straight A’s!

140 posted on 03/12/2014 1:01:23 PM PDT by 21twelve (http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2185147/posts 2013 is 1933 REBORN)

To: Zeneta

I had a good friend of mine who was a philosophy major, and a guy in his class who was a bit of a burnout (too much weed, acid or something) handed in a one page document for his project for the class, which was expected to be 5000 words or something like that.

On the single page, there was a single line that said “Because I am simply writing this one line, it proves that I understand the material.”

My friend said given the course (It was something like Existential Humanistic Psychology or something weird like that, I can’t remember) it was a brilliant response, and showed exactly that he understood.

The guy got an “F” and failed the course...

141 posted on 03/12/2014 1:03:52 PM PDT by rlmorel ("A nation, despicable by its weakness, forfeits even the privilege of being neutral." A. Hamilton)

To: wideawake

Ah! Thank you...

142 posted on 03/12/2014 1:16:40 PM PDT by rlmorel ("A nation, despicable by its weakness, forfeits even the privilege of being neutral." A. Hamilton)

To: Dr. Bogus Pachysandra

Roman numeral for 5 = V

143 posted on 03/12/2014 1:55:03 PM PDT by RikaStrom ("To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize." ~Voltaire)

To: The Looking Spoon

I didn’t get 3, 4 and 12.

144 posted on 03/12/2014 2:09:25 PM PDT by TigersEye (Stupid is a Progressive disease.)

To: HamiltonJay

Good thing its Oct 31... ;-P

145 posted on 03/12/2014 2:37:45 PM PDT by MortMan (Is a delayed shower a "stay of exablution"?)

To: HamiltonJay

Now I know this one, did I include this on my list of “do not understand”s?

146 posted on 03/12/2014 2:37:45 PM PDT by Shimmer1 (When you have neither the law nor the facts on your side, pound the table.)

To: Ingtar

A software tester would pass the scenario based on the business requirement. Now a quality assurance professional would realize the business requirement was wrong and raise an issue.

147 posted on 03/12/2014 3:07:02 PM PDT by Woodman

To: HamiltonJay
(3 x 8) + 2 = (2 x 10) + 5

(3 x 8) = 24
24 + 2 = 26

(2 x 10) = 20
20 + 5 = 25

Hate to break it to you, but your math is wrong.

148 posted on 03/12/2014 3:16:13 PM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)

To: The Looking Spoon

I took a philosophy class in high school and we were given an essay test with about 10 questions. Tuff test. One brainy guy finished the test, then wrote one sentence or one word answers to each of the questions - for fun (!!). The only one I can remember was:

“How does Kant’s Critique of Pure Reason fit into his philosophical system?”

149 posted on 03/12/2014 3:27:49 PM PDT by hadit2here ("Most men would rather die than think. Many do." - Bertrand Russell)

To: HamiltonJay

So Heisenberg was racing through town in his hot little BMW.

A cop pulls him over. “Sir,” he says, “do you have any idea how fast you were going?”

“No,” says Heisenberg, “but I know where I am”.

150 posted on 03/12/2014 3:32:20 PM PDT by JusPasenThru (Posting here = IRS audit.)