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Will you get these 20 jokes meant for really brainy people?
The Looking Spoon ^ | 3-12-14 | The Looking Spoon

Posted on 03/12/2014 9:46:13 AM PDT by The Looking Spoon

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To: The Looking Spoon

Dude, if you don’t post the answers, or a link...that’s the last click you’ll get from me ( pretty please )


51 posted on 03/12/2014 10:08:08 AM PDT by ken5050 (I fear a world run by adults who were never spanked as kids and got trophies just for participating)
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To: Shimmer1

12. 31 base 8 (Oct) is the same as 25 base 10 (Dec)


52 posted on 03/12/2014 10:08:12 AM PDT by Teotwawki (For a person to get a thing without paying for it, another must pay for it without getting it.)
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To: Blood of Tyrants

They’re asked if ALL of them want a drink.

If Logician #1 doesn’t want a drink, then he will answer “NO”. If he does want a drink then he will answer “I don’t know”, because he does not know if the other two Logicians want a drink.

Since Logician #1 answers “I don’t know”, Logicians #2 and #3 know that Logician #1 wants a drink.

Now, if Logician #2 doesn’t want a drink, then he will answer “No”. If he does want a drink, then he will answer “I don’t know”, because he doesn’t know if Logician #3 wants a drink.

Since Logician #2 answers “I don’t know”, Logician #3 now knows that both Logicians #1 and #2 want a drink. With this knowledge and the knowledge that he himself wants a drink, he can then answer “Yes” to the question.


53 posted on 03/12/2014 10:10:10 AM PDT by So Cal Rocket (Task 1: Accomplished, Task 2: Hold them Accountable!)
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To: The Looking Spoon

I didn’t get a couple of them, but I laughed anyway.


54 posted on 03/12/2014 10:10:29 AM PDT by Arthur McGowan
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To: Olog-hai
Nobody’s smarter than Yogi Berra!

Smarter than the average Chicago Bear.

55 posted on 03/12/2014 10:10:40 AM PDT by Ken H (What happens on the internet, stays on the internet.)
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To: Shimmer1

12 and 13 got me too. Also 16. The rest were pretty good.


56 posted on 03/12/2014 10:11:53 AM PDT by Wyatt's Torch
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To: TBP

Or are a cartoon.


57 posted on 03/12/2014 10:13:00 AM PDT by SoothingDave
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To: CrazyIvan

Really? Mine is Harvard Law School.


58 posted on 03/12/2014 10:13:54 AM PDT by lastchance ("Nisi credideritis, non intelligetis" St. Augustine)
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To: Shimmer1
Number 13.

Heisenberg is the "author" of the uncertainty principle, in which it is impossible to precisely give the state of complementary variables - in this case jokes and funniness. Hence his uncertainty.

Goedel is the "author" of the principle of undecidability - that rules for formal systems cannot contain rules for drafting the rules of formal systems, the way that dividing by zero is indefinable under the rules of basic mathematics. Because the three men are inside the joke, they cannot step outside the joke to decide if the joke is funny or not.

Chomsky is one of the guys responsible for transformational grammar, which says that statements have a surface structure and a deep structure and that the surface structure can be optimized to generate a closer approximation of the deep structure. I.e. you can "tell it right" if you get to that structure.

59 posted on 03/12/2014 10:14:21 AM PDT by wideawake
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To: SoothingDave

Not quite.

When each of the first two says “I don’t know,” he is telling the third one that he wants a beer. Because if either one of the first two had not wanted a beer, he would have answered the question, “No.”


60 posted on 03/12/2014 10:14:59 AM PDT by Arthur McGowan
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To: The Looking Spoon

I don’t get 4 and 12.


61 posted on 03/12/2014 10:15:24 AM PDT by pgkdan
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To: The Looking Spoon
Those are really cute. Entropy is, of course, precisely what it used to be - that's why it's Boltzmann's constant, not Boltzmann's variable.

All right, I'm kidding. Never could tell a joke...

62 posted on 03/12/2014 10:15:37 AM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: SpinnerWebb

See post 59.


63 posted on 03/12/2014 10:17:07 AM PDT by wideawake
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To: pgkdan

Don’t worry about 4. It’s a metric system joke and there is nothing funny about the metric system.

(A pascal is the unit of pressure. A newton is the unit of weight. 1 newton per square meter is one pascal.)


64 posted on 03/12/2014 10:18:04 AM PDT by SoothingDave
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To: lastchance

Took me a minute....yours may be better than anything on the list ;-)


65 posted on 03/12/2014 10:18:35 AM PDT by JoeDetweiler
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To: cuban leaf

Thanks! :)

I liked these. There were a couple I didn’t get (the Newton inside a square meter?), but I’ll read the thread & I’m sure someone will have explained them. I loved the one about Pavlov-now that was funny. :)


66 posted on 03/12/2014 10:19:29 AM PDT by proud American in Canada (R.I.P., James Helmuth, my nephew who passed away at ten years old, from cancer, on March 23.)
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To: wideawake

Rene Descartes walks into a bar. He orders a beer, sits down and drinks it.

The bartender comes around and says “would you like another?”

Descartes responds “I think not” and vanishes into thin air.


67 posted on 03/12/2014 10:19:54 AM PDT by SoothingDave
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To: SoothingDave; Blood of Tyrants
Re: #3
They can’t know if they “all” want a beer until all three have made their decision. So the third one can say “yes.”

That's only half of it — if either of the first two didn't want a beer then they could have answered the question ('No').

68 posted on 03/12/2014 10:21:02 AM PDT by OneWingedShark (Q: Why am I here? A: To do Justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with my God.)
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To: lastchance

>> My favorite “intellectual” joke is still the one about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac.
>
> Really? Mine is Harvard Law School.

LOL / Ouch! :D


69 posted on 03/12/2014 10:23:04 AM PDT by OneWingedShark (Q: Why am I here? A: To do Justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with my God.)
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To: Shimmer1
Look up Pavlovs dog.

12 &13 eluded me too.

70 posted on 03/12/2014 10:24:33 AM PDT by mountn man (The Pleasure You Get From Life Is Equal To The Attitude You Put Into It)
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To: The Looking Spoon

Thank you for posting these. I have passed them on to a philospher, a mathematician, an engineering student, and a Mother-in-law.


71 posted on 03/12/2014 10:24:36 AM PDT by married21 ( As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.)
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To: mrreaganaut

I liked them and they are some of the reasons we got married. Mwah.


72 posted on 03/12/2014 10:25:04 AM PDT by reaganaut (Ex-Mormon, now Christian. I once was lost but now am found, was blind but now I see.)
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To: wideawake

Clearly that joke predates the modern gender era.


73 posted on 03/12/2014 10:25:46 AM PDT by 9YearLurker
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To: The Looking Spoon

I have a t-shirt with the Buddhist one on it.


74 posted on 03/12/2014 10:26:04 AM PDT by reaganaut (Ex-Mormon, now Christian. I once was lost but now am found, was blind but now I see.)
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To: The Looking Spoon

Those brainy people should have been aborted!!


75 posted on 03/12/2014 10:26:04 AM PDT by dalereed
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To: The Looking Spoon

Hmmmmm...... I’m not as smart as I thought I was.


76 posted on 03/12/2014 10:26:56 AM PDT by Din Maker (If Ted Cruz gave Rand Paul one of his balls, they'd both have one.)
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To: Loud Mime

The engineering one is pretty good too.


77 posted on 03/12/2014 10:28:16 AM PDT by 9YearLurker
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To: TBP

Steven Wright


78 posted on 03/12/2014 10:29:01 AM PDT by mountn man (The Pleasure You Get From Life Is Equal To The Attitude You Put Into It)
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To: The Looking Spoon
Here's my contribution to "intellectual jokes".

Unlike men, all numbers are not created equal.

79 posted on 03/12/2014 10:31:45 AM PDT by Pres Raygun (Repent America)
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To: The Looking Spoon

I don’t get 12 and 13, and initially, I didn’t get #4, but only because my screen was cutting off the last paragraph of the joke...:)

I loved these!


80 posted on 03/12/2014 10:32:34 AM PDT by rlmorel ("A nation, despicable by its weakness, forfeits even the privilege of being neutral." A. Hamilton)
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To: cuban leaf

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!


81 posted on 03/12/2014 10:33:30 AM PDT by rlmorel ("A nation, despicable by its weakness, forfeits even the privilege of being neutral." A. Hamilton)
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To: Blood of Tyrants

On 3 question was if ‘all’ wanted a drink - logically the first two couldn’t answer until the third did so they didn’t know - they could only answer no (because I don’t so not all three or I don’t know because of the others- until the third heard the orlther two day they didn’t know them he could say yes)... Logically


82 posted on 03/12/2014 10:34:11 AM PDT by reed13k (For evil to triumph it is only necessary for good men to do nothings)
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To: ShadowAce

I detest that douchebag.


83 posted on 03/12/2014 10:34:50 AM PDT by rlmorel ("A nation, despicable by its weakness, forfeits even the privilege of being neutral." A. Hamilton)
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To: The Looking Spoon

Based on inside knowledge, most aren’t that funny anyway, but let me tell you, number 5 is truly hilarious!


84 posted on 03/12/2014 10:36:11 AM PDT by catnipman (Cat Nipman: Vote Republican in 2012 and only be called racist one more time!)
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To: rlmorel

See post 59 for 13.


85 posted on 03/12/2014 10:36:16 AM PDT by wideawake
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To: IronJack

Only one I don’t get is #7. The two-fingered Roman one.


86 posted on 03/12/2014 10:39:03 AM PDT by Dr. Bogus Pachysandra ( Ya can't pick up a turd by the clean end!)
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To: The Looking Spoon

#11, the chemist and plumber one. That escapes me. Hint please? Anybody? Beuller?


87 posted on 03/12/2014 10:39:17 AM PDT by Two Kids' Dad
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To: Dr. Bogus Pachysandra

The two fingers are a V... for Roman 5.


88 posted on 03/12/2014 10:39:47 AM PDT by Mashood
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To: Two Kids' Dad

You get “unionized” for the plumber, right?

Try “un-ionized” for the chemist. Not ionized.


89 posted on 03/12/2014 10:41:09 AM PDT by SoothingDave
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To: The Looking Spoon

Got them all except 2 and 12.

ps
The one on entropy was the best of the list.


90 posted on 03/12/2014 10:42:41 AM PDT by cpdiii (Deckhand, Roughneck, Mud Man, Geologist, Pilot, Pharmacist. THE CONSTITUTION IS WORTH DYING FOR!)
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To: SoothingDave

union-ized vs. un-ionized


91 posted on 03/12/2014 10:42:59 AM PDT by Slainte
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To: Two Kids' Dad
Plumber thinks in terms of unions, so will say union-ized.

Chemist thinks in terms of chemistry, ie Ions. He'd say un-Ionized.

92 posted on 03/12/2014 10:44:54 AM PDT by mountn man (The Pleasure You Get From Life Is Equal To The Attitude You Put Into It)
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To: Mashood

“The two fingers are a V... for Roman 5.” Aw! Geesh! Of course! I missed the easiest one! Where’s my coffee? Thanks!


93 posted on 03/12/2014 10:47:05 AM PDT by Dr. Bogus Pachysandra ( Ya can't pick up a turd by the clean end!)
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To: The Looking Spoon

The worst thing about voids? There’s nowhere to GO!


94 posted on 03/12/2014 10:48:40 AM PDT by clbiel (Islamophobia: The irrational fear of being decapitated)
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To: The Looking Spoon

Excellent! Thanks for the post.


95 posted on 03/12/2014 10:49:59 AM PDT by PubliusMM (RKBA; a matter of fact, not opinion. 01-20-2016; I pray we make it that long.)
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To: Gen.Blather

So I asked the physicist, “What’s new.” He said, “C over lambda.”

______________

Sometimes Startpage is the only reason I get anything.

Years ago worked with a number of physicists who were no longer needed in the nuclear power industry because of leftist contractions, and were trying to make lateral moves into software engineering and design. Great guys! Maybe their heads were in the clouds but I found them down to earth.


96 posted on 03/12/2014 10:50:29 AM PDT by Chickensoup (leftist totalitarian fascism is on the move.)
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To: SoothingDave

A philosophy professor walks in to give his class their final. Placing his chair on his desk the professor instructs the class, “Using every applicable thing you’ve learned in this course, prove to me that this chair DOES NOT EXIST.”

So, pencils are writing and erasers are erasing, students are preparing to embark on novels proving that this chair doesn’t exist, except for one student. He spends thirty seconds writing his answer, then turns his final in to the astonishment of his peers.

Time goes by, and the day comes when all the students get their final grades...and to the amazement of the class, the student who wrote for thirty seconds gets the highest grade in the class.

His answer to the question: “What chair?”


97 posted on 03/12/2014 10:50:58 AM PDT by Zeneta (Thoughts in time and out of season.)
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To: TBP

It’s one of my favorite jokes and I tell it all the time. Got it from my Dad about 50 years ago.

Funny, though, most women I’ve told it to don’t think it’s funny.

I tell it anyway, though.

cheers
Jim


98 posted on 03/12/2014 10:51:17 AM PDT by gymbeau (Tagline under consideration)
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To: ShadowAce

Chomsky claims that the reason communism hasn’t been successful is because no one has done it right yet.

__________________

and that is a sad joke.


99 posted on 03/12/2014 10:52:15 AM PDT by Chickensoup (leftist totalitarian fascism is on the move.)
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To: SoothingDave

Darn it, you beat me to it. I love that joke.

There are 10 types of people, those who understand binary, and those who don’t.


100 posted on 03/12/2014 10:52:32 AM PDT by JusPasenThru (Posting here = IRS audit.)
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