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Veep Says Trials and Tribulations of Health Law Qualify President for Sainthood
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 21 March 2014 | John Semmens

Posted on 03/21/2014 10:00:24 PM PDT by John Semmens

“No one has suffered more than the President over this thing,” said Vice-President Joe Biden commenting on the disastrous Affordable Care Act. “I know it will be hard for those who've lost coverage or seen their premiums skyrocket to grasp this. But these people have minor individual problems. The President has to face a rising tide of criticism and blame. He's not used to that. If anyone qualifies for sainthood it's him.”

Talk show host Ellen Degeneres largely concurred in Biden's assessment arguing that “while there may be a few malcontents, I think the vast majority of Americans are truly grateful for what the President has done for them.”

“Malcontent” Mort Dedmon begged to differ. “Because of this new law my insurance carrier was forced to cancel our 'bad apple' policy,” Dedmon complained. “It didn't offer a zero out-of-pocket cost coverage for birth control. But it was paying for my wife's stage-3 breast cancer treatments. I think we're signed up for a complying plan, but I can't be sure. My wife's new doctor made us sign papers accepting financial responsibility in the event that we aren't signed up. On top of this, the monthly premium for our new insurance is almost twice what we were paying before.”

Biden characterized Dedmon's situation as “a minor bump in the road. From a broader perspective, the implementation of a nationwide uniform health insurance is of greater importance. Every major advance in civilization always leaves a few people behind. In our view, we must take these inevitable casualties in stride if we hope to win the battle for social justice.”

The “battle” may be a long one, though. The Department of Health and Human Services estimates that as many as one million of the previously uninsured may have signed up to purchase Obamacare compliant policies. HHS is currently unable to ascertain how many of these potential customers will follow through by making payments of their premiums, but predicted that “if payments can approach the 90% range at this rate we'll be on pace to eradicate the uninsured cohort in less than 20 years.”

In related news, Treasury Assistant Secretary for Tax Policy Mark Mazur admitted to the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee that “I don't recall anyone raising the issue of whether we have the legal authority to administratively modify the terms of the Affordable Care Act. I mean, this is the President's law. If he tells us to make changes regarding who is affected by any of its provisions who are we to question him?”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/152410-2014-03-21-semi-news-a-satire-of-recent-news-march-23-2014.htm


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: biden; obamacare; satire; tyranny

1 posted on 03/21/2014 10:00:25 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 2ndDivisionVet; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

ping


2 posted on 03/21/2014 10:01:11 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Supposed to go up as much as 300% next year. I’m sure Democrats will love that the next few elections.


3 posted on 03/21/2014 10:01:55 PM PDT by A CA Guy ( God Bless America, God Bless and keep safe our fighting men and women.)
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To: John Semmens

You kid, but the line between parody and reality becomes blurred a great deal in Obama’s America.


4 posted on 03/21/2014 10:02:58 PM PDT by Army Air Corps (Four Fried Chickens and a Coke)
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To: John Semmens

This one is so easy to sucker you in because it’s so like something jivin junkman joe would say!


5 posted on 03/21/2014 10:07:31 PM PDT by Mastador1 (I'll take a bad dog over a good politician any day!)
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To: John Semmens

“Oh no you don’t!”

LOL

Funny!


6 posted on 03/21/2014 10:14:28 PM PDT by Vendome (Don't take life so seriously-you won't live through it anyway-Enjoy Yourself ala Louis Prima)
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To: John Semmens
Another fine column John.

Semi-news, semi-satire, semi-scary.

.

7 posted on 03/21/2014 10:25:47 PM PDT by Seaplaner (Never give in. Never give in. Never...except to convictions of honour and good sense. W. Churchill)
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To: John Semmens

typical liberal.

libtards pass a law that makes the common man’s life awful, but it’s obama whose “trials” b/c of this law deserves sainthood.

good ol’ gaffe joe.


8 posted on 03/21/2014 11:06:04 PM PDT by Secret Agent Man (Gone Galt; Not averse to Going Bronson.)
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To: John Semmens

“And he’s articulate, and bright, and clean...” Barack Hussein 0bama, aka Santa Claus.


9 posted on 03/21/2014 11:24:18 PM PDT by windsorknot
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To: John Semmens
The sentence "If anyone qualifies for sainthood it's him." currently has only one Google hit, so it must be part of the semi-satire, not the semi-news.

What a relief! Every time Biden is quoted I prepare to cringe.

10 posted on 03/21/2014 11:49:05 PM PDT by TChad (The Obamacare motto: Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori.)
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To: John Semmens

Great translation of Bambi and Joe’s comments!


11 posted on 03/21/2014 11:55:45 PM PDT by Diver Dave (Because He Lives, I Can Face Tomorrow)
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To: TChad
...it must be part of the semi-satire, not the semi-news.

I stand corrected.

12 posted on 03/22/2014 12:44:08 AM PDT by TChad (The Obamacare motto: Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori.)
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To: John Semmens
Good find , John. :)
Epically ridiculous concept, must have been a Joe moment.
13 posted on 03/22/2014 4:56:08 AM PDT by moose07 (the truth will out ,one day.)
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To: John Semmens

I know this is semi-news/semi-satire, but I hate to tell bite me that the bump in the road he felt was the “Bridge Out” sign with a canyon just ahead.


14 posted on 03/22/2014 5:09:41 AM PDT by Arrowhead1952 (The Second Amendment is NOT about the right to hunt. It IS a right to shoot tyrants.)
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To: John Semmens

I didn’t know Muslims could be sainted.


15 posted on 03/22/2014 5:12:31 AM PDT by ExCTCitizen (I'm ExCTCitizen and I approve this reply. If it does offend Libs, I'm NOT sorry...)
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To: John Semmens

Plugs Biden is way overdue for being checked into the county home.


16 posted on 03/22/2014 5:24:29 AM PDT by MNnice
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To: MNnice

Misses the fact cost of food, especially essentials like MILK now cost MORE than a gallon of gas in most parts of the country. Our gas in Atoka TN was $3.22 2 days ago, milk was #3.95 for store brand. Name brand was over $4.

17 posted on 03/22/2014 5:40:52 AM PDT by GailA (IF you fail to keep your promises to the Military, you won't keep them to Citizens!)
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To: John Semmens

Another round for my friends bartender.... xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox


18 posted on 03/22/2014 6:03:09 AM PDT by ronnie raygun (Im missing a jumbo jet with 235 passengers has anyone seen it?)
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To: John Semmens
St. Suckhole...
19 posted on 03/22/2014 7:08:47 AM PDT by Chode (Stand UP and Be Counted, or line up and be numbered - *DTOM* -vvv- NO Pity for the LAZY - 86-44)
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To: John Semmens

Can our Marxist Messiah, obama, be a saint, also?


20 posted on 03/22/2014 5:57:02 PM PDT by dynachrome (Vertrou in God en die Mauser)
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To: John Semmens
John, you nailed Biden well. Thank you for the ping.
21 posted on 03/22/2014 7:45:19 PM PDT by fatnotlazy
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To: John Semmens

I only looked at the title and laughed out loud.

I don’t need to read the article to know it’s golden.


22 posted on 03/23/2014 11:39:46 AM PDT by wastedyears (I'm a pessimist, I say plenty of negative things. Consider it a warning of sorts.)
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