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Army looks to relocate Pentagon
Army.mil ^ | 1APR14 | Army News Release

Posted on 04/01/2014 8:48:01 PM PDT by Marie

The proposed move will take the Pentagon from the banks of the Potomac River to northwest Kansas.

WASHINGTON (April 1, 2010) -- Top Army officials unveiled plans early today to relocate the massive Pentagon building to the western part of Kansas sometime this summer.

"This move will be a huge undertaking, but we determined it was a necessary step as we realign our force structure," said one of the Army's top generals.

"Once we started investigating the possibility of the move, we determined that it was not only critical to our efforts, but that it would be good for our employees and the environment," the general continued.

The move, which is tentatively being planned for this August, will be one of the greatest undertakings ever attempted, according to the Wilbur Q. Johnson, who is a long-time Pentagon employee and who will also oversee the move.

"The move will take place in three primary phases," said Johnson. "Initially we will use a giant crane to lift the building onto a barge in the Potomac River. From there we will float the barge down the Atlantic Coast and into the Gulf of Mexico. Then, we will sail the Pentagon up the Mississippi River to just south of St. Louis. In the final stage, we will place the building on large flat-bed trucks and drive it the rest of the way."

"We aren't announcing exactly when we are going to do this for security reasons," said Johnson, "and we aren't announcing the final location either for the same reasons."

Although the final location hasn't been announced, interstate traffic in Kansas will be affected. "Those who drive on the interstate can expect significant delays. During this move, I-70 in Kansas will be closed to all traffic," Johnson warned.

Those who work in the Pentagon will only experience minor disruptions, according to Johnson. "We have sought the advice of the Navy and determined that we can just treat the building like a big ship as we move. All of the employees will basically be expected to pack as if they were going on a two-week trip and they will then remain in the building for the duration of the move," Johnson explained.

"We will make sure that we store enough food and water for the workers on that journey," said Johnson. "Additionally, we will maintain Internet connectivity via satellite during the move and use generators and solar panels for power."

On the day the move begins, Pentagon workers will be strongly discouraged from driving to work, as they will be unable to retrieve their cars, Johnson explained. "But, we will give building workers at least 72 hours notice before the move, so they can make the appropriate plans."

Editor's Note - This is really just an April Fool's Day joke. Everything in this story is fictional, including seeking the advice of the Navy. Have a great day.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Conspiracy; Military/Veterans
KEYWORDS: aprilfool; army; bhodod; kansas; pentagon; usarmy; virginia
Who says that the Pentagon doesn't have a sense of humor! lol!
1 posted on 04/01/2014 8:48:01 PM PDT by Marie
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To: Marie

I was going to post — “Really?!” - until I got to the last line ... :-) ...


2 posted on 04/01/2014 8:50:52 PM PDT by Star Traveler (Remember to keep the Messiah of Israel in the One-World Government that we look forward to coming)
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To: Marie
The Military HQ is NOT going to be moving far from the teat of Capitol Spending.

Who is going to be providing free rides for Congress Critters?

3 posted on 04/01/2014 8:51:27 PM PDT by Paladin2
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To: Marie

Thank You! I needed that! It wasnt until the “remain in the building” part that I caught on.


4 posted on 04/01/2014 8:52:17 PM PDT by MeshugeMikey ( "Never, never, never give up". Winston Churchill)
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To: Star Traveler

My husband was actually scratching his head over this one for a few minutes this afternoon! lol!


5 posted on 04/01/2014 8:52:38 PM PDT by Marie (When are they going to take back Obama's peace prize?)
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To: Marie

Dang. The Pentagon owes me money.


6 posted on 04/01/2014 8:56:39 PM PDT by DManA
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To: Marie

Ground was broken for construction on September 11, 1941, and the building was dedicated on January 15, 1943.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Pentagon


7 posted on 04/01/2014 8:56:52 PM PDT by Jack Hydrazine (Pubbies = national collectivists; Dems = international collectivists; We need a second party!)
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To: Marie

The dateline was from four April Fool’s Days ago.


8 posted on 04/01/2014 9:02:24 PM PDT by Technical Editor
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To: Marie

But, but Criswell Predicts said the US Capitol would be moved to Wichita, KS 45 years ago!


9 posted on 04/01/2014 9:12:55 PM PDT by Ruy Dias de Bivar (Sometimes you need 7+ more ammo. LOTS MORE.)
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To: Marie

I heard that while it’s floating to its final destination they plan to expand it from 5 gons to 7 gons so that when it arrives in Kansas it will be called the Septagon.


10 posted on 04/01/2014 9:15:17 PM PDT by InterceptPoint
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To: Marie

It’s already 4/2 where I am....


11 posted on 04/01/2014 9:18:22 PM PDT by clintonh8r (Don't give up! The liberals are buggering and aborting themselves into extinction.)
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To: Marie

thought it was the Duffel Blog!

http://www.duffelblog.com/


12 posted on 04/01/2014 9:33:08 PM PDT by huldah1776
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To: clintonh8r

I still beat the East Coast deadline by 12 minutes! ;-)


13 posted on 04/01/2014 9:34:43 PM PDT by Marie (When are they going to take back Obama's peace prize?)
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To: Marie
One of the best ideas that the pentagon ever had; and, it was a prank.

That said, now they have the idea.

So, Monday or so, there will be a new committee to examine the feasibility of doing this.

.

14 posted on 04/01/2014 9:35:45 PM PDT by Seaplaner (Never give in. Never give in. Never...except to convictions of honour and good sense. W. Churchill)
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To: Seaplaner

Good idea. I would say underground in the plains states. No room 4 lobbyists.


15 posted on 04/01/2014 9:54:15 PM PDT by DIRTYSECRET (urope. Why do they put up with this.)
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To: Marie

If they did it I wouldn’t feel as bad when Iran finally nukes DC.


16 posted on 04/01/2014 9:58:35 PM PDT by Drill Thrawl (The Gubment Has No Legitimacy. It needs to be Removed!)
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To: Marie


LOL.

17 posted on 04/01/2014 10:01:24 PM PDT by onyx (Please Support Free Republic - Donate Monthly! If you want on Sarah Palin's Ping List, Let Me know!)
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To: Star Traveler
I was fooled as well.

I started thinking, where in the heck do they have the massive funds for such a move while GI’s food rations are being cut in the field?

I have heard that Israel plans on moving it's Pentagon (called the “Kiriya”)or most of it's infrastructure)out of the greater Tel Aviv area, south to the Negev desert where it MIGHT be less vulnerable to an attack?

18 posted on 04/01/2014 10:40:36 PM PDT by Netz
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To: Marie

You did, indeed. Well played!


19 posted on 04/01/2014 10:45:44 PM PDT by clintonh8r (Don't give up! The liberals are buggering and aborting themselves into extinction.)
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To: Marie

I’m not impressed. I don’t want our military to have a sense of humor.


20 posted on 04/01/2014 11:44:28 PM PDT by higgmeister ( In the Shadow of The Big Chicken!)
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To: Marie

Military still declining. That’s no joke.


21 posted on 04/02/2014 4:45:38 AM PDT by onedoug
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