Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Climate Disruption: A Call To Action 2 [Satire]
World News Bureau ^ | May 7, 2014 | Scooter Van Neuter

Posted on 05/07/2014 6:09:53 PM PDT by WXRGina

Special report by Scooter Van Neuter (WNB) - In response to the great feedback I received about yesterday's article outlining my personal efforts to combat global warming climate change climate disruption, here's a few more practical steps anyone can take to help save our planet:

SAVING ELECTRICITY

Everyone knows that we need to save electricity, but how? It's not like you can put it into an electricity piggy bank. Obviously, the only way to save electricity is to put it into batteries which then can be used to transfer the electricity back to nature. Here's how I do it:

1. I purchased several hundred battery chargers from Tsumting Shti Trading Company on Ebay. These quality Chinese units were only $1.10 each (delivered), and charge eight C batteries at a time. With the addition of shelving racks and dozens of power strips I was able to convert my wasted back bedroom into a green charging farm.

2. I set aside a few hundred dollars a week to buy rechargeable batteries which I then charge in the chargers.

3. Every Friday after a solemn prayer to Mother Earth, I return the saved electricity by dumping the batteries into nearby Lake Pleasant. For those of you who don't know science, the water conducts and absorbs the electricity which is then carried back to the ozone layer by natural evaporation (see diagram below).

REDUCING ELECTRICITY CONSUMPTION

In addition to saving electricity, I also actively reduce the amount my household is consuming. There are two primary ways to do this:

1. Reduce the current pathways by reducing the number of wire strands. On all stranded electrical cables I carefully snip at least half the strands to achieve a 50% electricity usage reduction. In wet areas, make sure you insulate the reductions with electrical tape.

2. Restrict current by impeding flow. On the main cable running from my electric meter to breaker box I've applied several strong hose clamps, thereby restricting electrical flow. Be careful when doing this - clamp too tight and appliances may run slow, too loose and energy reduction is minimal.

The responsibility to save our planet rests with us all, please join me in making a difference - for our children's sake.



TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS:

1 posted on 05/07/2014 6:09:53 PM PDT by WXRGina
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: WXRGina

When the Earth is sick Democrats make it feel better.

So says a children’s book someone mentioned on Facebook a while ago


2 posted on 05/07/2014 6:13:34 PM PDT by GeronL (Vote for Conservatives not for Republicans!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: GeronL

HAHAHA!!! Yes, they make it know how it REALLY feels to hurt.

I wanted to post Scooter’s column from yesterday (linked above), but the picture of “his car” was a tad R-rated.


3 posted on 05/07/2014 6:15:01 PM PDT by WXRGina (The Founding Fathers would be shooting by now.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: GeronL

When the Earth is sick Democrats make it feel better.

Maybe a big, really big bottle of Pepto-Bismo?


4 posted on 05/07/2014 6:31:18 PM PDT by RetiredTexasVet (Surgeon General Warning: Use of Planned Parenthood is hazardous to unborn black fetuses.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: WXRGina

This reminds me of the little known dangers of Dihydrogine Monoxide!

http://www.dhmo.org/facts.html


5 posted on 05/07/2014 6:34:44 PM PDT by LucianOfSamasota (Tanstaafl - its not just for breakfast anymore...)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: LucianOfSamasota

HAHAHAHA!!!


6 posted on 05/07/2014 6:47:41 PM PDT by WXRGina (The Founding Fathers would be shooting by now.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: WXRGina

Thanks, I’ll try my very best to reduce my carbon footprint (by wiping my feet after burning a pile of “waste vegative matter”). Your suggestions are most helpful.


7 posted on 05/07/2014 7:55:17 PM PDT by HippyLoggerBiker (Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson