Skip to comments.FReepers: Let's help Bubba write his apology to Hillary and Monica (and choose suitable music)
Posted on 05/10/2014 8:25:12 AM PDT by ken5050
Hard on the heels of Monica Lewinsky's just released "crie du coeur" in Vanity Fair, comes rumors that the Big Creep himself is contemplating a public apology of sorts to Hillary and Monica for the misery he's caused them for nearly two decades......In the spirit of kindness and forgiveness for which Freepers are noted (snicker) let's help the guy out.....
So, you're invited to submit your suggestions here for the first paragraph of Bubba's "Apologia"....
And as everyone knows, music "doth soothe the savage beast..." so any thoughts on suitable accompaniments will also be appreciated and welcomed.
For me, there's nothing better, more gut wrenching, than the great Brenda Lee: "I'm sorry (so sorry)"
And as for how to get started.... the difficult opening lines....well, just go with "I feel your pain..."
“Whose bed have your boots ben under?”
“Monica, I’m sorry this whole affair has left a bad taste in your mouth.”
I’m sorry I ruined your life and made you out to be a psycho stalker groupie, but look how successful I’ve been despite being impeached by those damn republicans and that twisted sex perv Ken Starr.
I never had and never will again have sex with that woman!
“Hillary, sweetheart , if you would’ve been doing what Monica was doing I would not have been looking somewhere else.” Bill said with a teary eye
Dear Hillary and/or Monica:
I apologize for any misunderstandings you may have had.
“You’re my one true love, Hill. Monica blows....oh wait, scratch that....”
Hills, Chelsea ... ah was workin’ late one night an’ this, this woman struts in an’ snaps her thong at me. Nex’ thang ah know, she’s vamped me, got me in the pantry an’ doin’ thangs to me. An’ she stalked me, yes sir, an’ if that ain’t the truth may I be struck dead, so hep me. How’s that ladies? Is we all square now? Kin we turn them frowns upside down? I shor hope so.
PS That’s the ‘Harper Valley PTA’ playing, yer fav Hills.
Ah’m sorry ah never actually hit that.
Ah’m sorry Hillary that your butt IS really fat.
Ah’m sorry to the American people that you weren’t there to help me enjoy myself with all of those womyn.
I am sorry for what I did, but look on the bright side, you have had a long career as a worthless politician and bureaucrat thanks to everyone feeling sorry for you because of what I did.
I apologize for staining your blue dress. I should have used the sink as usual. And I apologize for the the grief you have caused me.
When the press starts hounding you again and those evil Republicans start with their never ending harassment, remember this advice from me : "Keep your chin up"
Hillary, Monica....I’m so sorry that those evil Koch brothers made Monica......well, here’s my good friend Harry to explain it all for you.
I’m sorry for global warming. You woulda been wearing a parka over that dress darlin’
Hill, what I gotta apologize for you for?
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