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Kerry Says Obama Administration “Most Transparent and Accountable in History”
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 23 May 2014 | John Semmens

Posted on 05/23/2014 6:52:09 PM PDT by John Semmens

In a lightly publicized press conference, Secretary of State John Kerry told members of the Mexican media that “I believe President Obama will go down in history as the president who has held himself and his administration accountable to the highest standards of transparency and accountability.”

While GOP critics of the Administration have repeatedly battled to try to obtain documents relating to the numerous scandals—Fast and Furious, NSA spying, IRS mistreatment of conservative groups, the Benghazi massacre, and “death-by-delay” at Veterans Administration hospitals—Kerry insisted that “the fact that people are aware of these events proves the Administration has not suppressed all information.”

“Given the vast amount of power at his disposal, the President could easily eliminate or intimidate all inquiries into the Government's private affairs,” Kerry argued. “There are armed men standing by ready to pay a visit to anyone who displeases him. And there is no limit to the funds available for persuading witnesses to forget or manufacture whatever testimony he deems is in the nation's best interest.”

“Yet, there's been no 'night of the long knives,' no Stalin-like arrest of political opponents,” Kerry pointed out. “Senator Cruz still rants against the President. Rush Limbaugh still fills the airwaves with his criticisms. No one's gone to jail. No one's mysteriously disappeared. What more proof does anyone need?”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/156238-2014-05-23-semi-news-a-satire-of-recent-news-may-25-2014.htm


TOPICS: Conspiracy; Government; History; Politics
KEYWORDS: accountable; obama; satire; transparent

1 posted on 05/23/2014 6:52:09 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 2ndDivisionVet; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

ping


2 posted on 05/23/2014 6:53:28 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

You’re scary, John. Good one!


3 posted on 05/23/2014 6:55:11 PM PDT by dayglored (Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is...sounding pretty good about now.)
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To: John Semmens
Well John,if you can tell that one with a straight face,there may be job opening up for you as White House press secretary.
4 posted on 05/23/2014 6:56:26 PM PDT by Farmer Dean (stop worrying about what they want to do to you,start thinking about what you want to do to them)
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To: John Semmens

Yeah, yeah and I remember kerrianne’s story about spending Christmas in Cambodia too. Almost as good as those reports he wrote recommending himself for Purple Hearts.


5 posted on 05/23/2014 6:57:13 PM PDT by Mastador1 (I'll take a bad dog over a good politician any day!)
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To: Farmer Dean

John Kerry,that is.


6 posted on 05/23/2014 6:57:24 PM PDT by Farmer Dean (stop worrying about what they want to do to you,start thinking about what you want to do to them)
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To: John Semmens

Another good one!

I have to ask...do you sometimes laugh out loud when you are writing your articles? I know some is satire...but so much is what these yahoos think even if they don’t say it outloud.


7 posted on 05/23/2014 7:02:48 PM PDT by berdie
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To: John Semmens
So I was watching Fox News today and they showed Kerry giving a graduation speech and he used the term "flat earth society" so very classy....NOT !!!

It got me thinking about a girl responding to Putin today, I think at the State Dept., who said "it's not like right to do that" and with pajama boy using "Dude that was two years ago" WHERE ARE THE ADULTS IN THIS ADMINISTRATION?????????? It makes me embarrassed for our country that our govt. is a laughing stock.

8 posted on 05/23/2014 7:03:28 PM PDT by Citizen Soldier ("You care far too much what is written and said about you." Axelrod to Obama 2006)
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To: John Semmens

A transparent mind is a terrible thing to waste.


9 posted on 05/23/2014 7:05:44 PM PDT by Mark (Obama Care is now DEMOCRAT CARE)
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To: John Semmens

Thus, proving once again, Kerry (who, by the way, served in VN) is an idiot.


10 posted on 05/23/2014 7:10:18 PM PDT by doc1019
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To: John Semmens
Everything is great because it's not as bad as it could have been.
Wonder if I can use that at my next performance review.

11 posted on 05/23/2014 7:10:32 PM PDT by BitWielder1 (Corporate Profits are better than Government Waste)
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To: John Semmens
Like Ohh My God.. TO-TALLY..


12 posted on 05/23/2014 7:12:17 PM PDT by CivilWarBrewing
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To: John Semmens

13 posted on 05/23/2014 7:12:31 PM PDT by Ray76 (True change requires true change - A Second Party)
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To: John Semmens

Lol


14 posted on 05/23/2014 7:18:06 PM PDT by GeronL (Vote for Conservatives not for Republicans!)
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To: John Semmens

LOL…this is so close to our absurd reality that it scarcely qualifies as satire.


15 posted on 05/23/2014 7:19:56 PM PDT by txrefugee
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To: John Semmens

Not like that corrupt George Washington administration.


16 posted on 05/23/2014 7:20:23 PM PDT by wideawake
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To: John Semmens

Satire, spoof or whatever you may want to call it,

The sad part of this is not many people would be surprised if this was a true piece.

We definitely have the types of idiots in this malmisadministration that are totally capable of spewing this sewage.

Of course, given the chance, the same 50.01% would vote this bunch of fools right back in office.


17 posted on 05/23/2014 7:20:25 PM PDT by xrmusn ((6/98)"Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.".)
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To: John Semmens

Has he been living under a rock?


18 posted on 05/23/2014 7:21:25 PM PDT by MamaB
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To: dayglored
Scary indeed, as I had to go back and look at the original story before I realized where John's excellent work really begins.
19 posted on 05/23/2014 7:35:18 PM PDT by Michael.SF. (I never thought anyone could make Jimmy Carter look good in comparison)
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To: John Semmens

John Effin’, diddler of rich ugly widows


20 posted on 05/23/2014 7:36:48 PM PDT by beethovenfan (If Islam is the solution, the "problem" must be freedom.)
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To: John Semmens
not counting Breitbart and a few other deaths, well, no...

spot on as always

21 posted on 05/23/2014 7:43:24 PM PDT by Chode (Stand UP and Be Counted, or line up and be numbered - *DTOM* -vvv- NO Pity for the LAZY - 86-44)
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To: John Semmens; All
a razor edge is too wide; micron thin, john.
micron thin..the edge between satire/reality.

22 posted on 05/23/2014 7:43:24 PM PDT by skinkinthegrass (The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun..0'Bathhouse/"Rustler" Reid? d8-)
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To: John Semmens

I know Kerry is stupid, but...is he really that stupid?


23 posted on 05/23/2014 7:59:53 PM PDT by lonestar (It takes a village of idiots to elect a village idiot.)
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To: John Semmens
Col. Potter is the expert on this: MULE COOKIES!
24 posted on 05/23/2014 8:04:53 PM PDT by righttackle44 (Take scalps. Leave the bodies as a warning.)
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To: lonestar

Does ANYONE believe ANYTHING that the mac daddy administration saye or does?

If you held up five fingers and counted the truths that the mac daddy administration said or did you would still have five fingers left.


25 posted on 05/23/2014 8:24:04 PM PDT by chiefqc
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To: John Semmens

Thanks again John for the ping. So close to reality.


26 posted on 05/23/2014 8:37:12 PM PDT by fatnotlazy
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To: John Semmens

Stevie Wonder would not disagree.


27 posted on 05/23/2014 8:48:52 PM PDT by Hieronymus ( (It is terrible to contemplate how few politicians are hanged. --G.K. Chesterton))
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To: John Semmens

Is this satire? I mean, how could someone say that?


28 posted on 05/23/2014 8:51:02 PM PDT by realcleanguy
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To: John Semmens

Like superman looking through lead. What an assclown Kerry is.


29 posted on 05/23/2014 9:09:19 PM PDT by Busko (The only thing that is certain is that nothing is certain.)
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To: John Semmens
Kerry Says Obama Administration “Most Transparent and Accountable in History”

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Well!
That certainly puts every word this closet alcoholic doofus has ever uttered in proper perspective!

30 posted on 05/23/2014 9:11:34 PM PDT by publius911 ( Politicians come and go... but the (union) bureaucracy lives and grows forever.)
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To: John Semmens

John, if I might make a suggestion, when you publish your satires could you please include a link to the story that you are parodying? It can hard to tell where reality ends and satire begins. (That’s a compliment.)


31 posted on 05/23/2014 9:17:55 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: John Semmens

Don’t know whether to gag or laugh out loud.


32 posted on 05/23/2014 9:23:39 PM PDT by SkyDancer (I Believe In The Law Until It Intereferes With Justice. And Pay Your Liberty Tax Citizen.)
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To: John Semmens

It is so unprofessional to use sarcasm in a political statement.


33 posted on 05/23/2014 9:57:48 PM PDT by huldah1776
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To: John Semmens

Yeah, they’re transparent — we can see right through them.


34 posted on 05/23/2014 10:19:22 PM PDT by TBP (Obama lies, Granny dies.)
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To: John Semmens
John, another fine/scary/and often significantly factual article.

Keep up the important work!

.

35 posted on 05/23/2014 10:22:48 PM PDT by Seaplaner (Never give in. Never give in. Never...except to convictions of honour and good sense. W. Churchill)
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To: John Semmens
>" No one's mysteriously disappeared. "

Why we even have Fuddy's death on video. That proves it! We all know it's always the video's fault!

36 posted on 05/24/2014 12:40:40 AM PDT by rawcatslyentist (Jeremiah 50:32 "The arrogant one will stumble and fall ; / ?)
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To: TBP; John Semmens

Exactly what I was going to say.


37 posted on 05/24/2014 4:58:13 AM PDT by DuncanWaring (The Lord uses the good ones; the bad ones use the Lord.)
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To: John Semmens

John, have you ever thought of just printing a news story, a true one, as satire, since the two are intertwined now. It occurred to me and I wondered if it had occurred to you. Now THAT would be funny


38 posted on 05/24/2014 7:26:53 AM PDT by Shimmer1 (The love that dare not speak its name is now the love that will not shut its *bleeping* mouth)
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