Posted on 06/09/2014 6:29:33 AM PDT by rhema
My cat allegedly has had several physical altercations with neighbors' cats and it is said he has eaten their food after these incidents. We are not conceding that he has ever done anything wrong, as there are no video tapes of these alleged actions. However, we would like to state for the record that if indeed there is any small truth to these allegations, there are many extenuating circumstances that would not only excuse his supposed behavior, put prove it to be commendable.
Evolutionary - Cats fight other cats and take their food. That is "survival of the fittest," the basic law of evolution. The cat cannot be blamed for what he only was destined to do by millions of years of adaptation. We should praise him for properly taking his place in the "circle of life."
Pharmacological - My cat has received several vaccinations and has taken medications for ticks and fleas. Research has not yet determined what the effects of these powerful drugs might be on his personality, to say nothing of the damage being done to his brain daily by cat food additives. That he gets up at all each morning is a testimony to his great will to live.
Theological - If God made my cat that way, he must be alright. He is wholly holy despite what ever sins he might commit. And are there really such things as sins anymore, aren't they really just misunderstandings? Like all God's creatures, my cat is a saint. Say anything against him and you are judgmental.
Political - If there was a more just distribution of wealth, my cat would not have to take food from others. In a more enlightened world, the government should be supplying my cat a daily supply of cat food. My cat is a freedom fighter, bravely taking on the "1%" fat cats.
Psychological - My cat has been labeled a "bully." Such labels become self-fulfilling prophecies as cats are then forced in to the role society has assigned them, with the accompanying loss of self-esteem which gets acted out as violence and theft. My cat is the victim here.
Prejudice - Orange Tabby's are the most discriminated against cats in the world. Look at the stereotypes perpetuated in the media by Garfield and Morris. If there is a problem, it always gets blamed on the Orange Tabby by our biased society. Indict my cat, and you are a racist. My cat is becoming a martyr for his feline people.
Like so many people who are proud of other people they like for all sorts of things, I am proud to say, "I Am Proud Of My Cat!"
Tuxedo cats are the best.
Winna! Winna! Chicken! Dinna!
I think I broke my eyes reading that.
Paragraphs are our FRIENDS. :)
I have one of those too.
Sometimes I make really short posts, and sometimes I make really long posts.
funny stuff! I have an orange tabby, Norman. He is king of the neighborhood and NO ONE messes with the Norm.
This guy forgot to mention that borders are racist and cats should be able to cross over into other territories without showing papers!
I tried that with my cat when it was new and only succeeded in "dragging" it across the garage floor and half the front driveway before I figured out she didn't wish to be walked........LOL!
And she doesn't like the outside either...........
A mite undercooked, perhaps.
Ha ha!
Funny! I like him taking on those 1% fat cats...
He’s a real Occupy the Wall Street Litter Boxes crusader.
Uproarious anecdotes. If your kitty spurned my peace offering (tuna? salmon?), I’d be cowering with (probably behind) the 80 lb. dog and the two cats.
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