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Events in Iraq Have White House Mulling Options
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 13 June 2014 | John Semmens

Posted on 06/13/2014 11:21:37 PM PDT by John Semmens

The recent military success of the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIL)–they have taken several northern cities in Iraq and are said to be advancing on Baghdad—has the White House in a tizzy. In 2011 President Obama declared Iraq had been cleared of Islamic extremists, that they’d been decimated and were on the run.

White House spokesman Josh Earnest insisted that “the administration is not accepting responsibility for these events. As the president has pointed out, Iraq was broken when he took office. The responsibility for that lies with his predecessor.”

Earnest contended that “steps the President has recently taken provide some ray of hope for a positive outcome. His release of detainees from Guantanamo should’ve earned us a reservoir of good will with the Islamic community in general and its terror arm in specific. So, we have that going for us.”

A second ray of hope cited by Earnest was the intervention of Iranian troops, which he argued “should stabilize the region. You don’t see terror attacks occurring in Iran. We need to ask ourselves why this is the case. What is their secret for averting this type of threat?”

In Earnest’s view “the positive role now being played by Iran also refutes those who say we’ve gone too easy on them. Maybe allowing Iran to join the nuclear club won’t be so bad after all. While the ISIL might doubt America’s willingness to unleash a nuclear strike on them, Iran might be perceived as having more fortitude in this regard.”

“And let’s not forget the president’s masterful deployment of drone strikes,” Earnest added, almost as an afterthought. “As he has humbly acknowledged, he’s very good at killing people with this technology. These terrorists must realize that no matter how many cities they take, no matter how many men they murder or women they rape, a drone can find them and strike them down at any time the President chooses.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://azconservative.org/2014/06/14/cochran-gears-up-for-final-campaign-push/


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: iraq; islamists; obama; obamadingdong; satire

1 posted on 06/13/2014 11:21:37 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 2ndDivisionVet; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

ping


2 posted on 06/13/2014 11:23:10 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

ARM THE KURDS!!!


3 posted on 06/13/2014 11:24:53 PM PDT by TBP (Obama lies, Granny dies.)
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To: John Semmens

Let me see? Drone strikes or no drone strikes... No I am going on vacation!!!


4 posted on 06/13/2014 11:35:05 PM PDT by tallyhoe
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To: John Semmens

When seconds matter, the police are minutes away. When hours matter, Odumbo is days away.


5 posted on 06/13/2014 11:36:42 PM PDT by Veggie Todd (The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. TJ)
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To: John Semmens

We’re funding and training the Iraqi’s.

We’re funding and training ISIS.

You can’t get enough of a good thing. Could we possibly fund and train a third group...some real far out exotic insurgents with some panash? The Dutch maybe? As always, price is not limit.


6 posted on 06/13/2014 11:57:04 PM PDT by Fitzy_888 ("ownership society")
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To: John Semmens

Actually, he is facing a few tough decisions this weekend. Which driver should he tee off with? The wedge or the 9 iron? Decisions, decisions.


7 posted on 06/14/2014 12:40:25 AM PDT by Entrepreneur (We're past the tipping point - the only variable is the rate of decline)
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To: John Semmens

this f-ing worthless hosebag poser of a president is not responsible for anything that is bad on any subject.
All bush’s fault?
What an ass this obammy is.


8 posted on 06/14/2014 3:19:26 AM PDT by Joe Boucher ((FUBO) obammy lied and lied and lied)
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To: John Semmens

Mulling...community organizer strategy session?


9 posted on 06/14/2014 5:18:53 AM PDT by ThePatriotsFlag ("There never was a democracy yet that did not commit suicide." - Thomas Jefferson)
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To: John Semmens
Events in Iraq Have White House Mulling Options

The only thing the Current WH can "Mull" is the next time it has to go to the toilet...and it needs pre-printed instruction even for that.

10 posted on 06/14/2014 5:24:37 AM PDT by GoldenPup
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To: John Semmens

I would say that the White House has no choice but to ‘mull’ options since the White House is always behind the curve but what is happening in the Mid East may be exactly what the White House wants.


11 posted on 06/14/2014 5:39:12 AM PDT by TalBlack (Evil doesn't have a day job.)
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To: John Semmens
Events in Iraq Have White House Mulling Options

Option A. Play Golf

Option B. Play Basketball

Option C. Watch Sports

Option D. Vacation to Hawaii

12 posted on 06/14/2014 5:41:42 AM PDT by TexasCajun
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To: John Semmens

mulling options —

Yeh like an 8:00 or 9:00 tee time.


13 posted on 06/14/2014 5:56:24 AM PDT by Uncle Chip
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To: Entrepreneur

Callaway or Taylor Made?

Life is hard!


14 posted on 06/14/2014 5:59:30 AM PDT by smokingfrog ( sleep with one eye open (<o> ---)
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To: John Semmens


15 posted on 06/14/2014 6:39:50 AM PDT by Chode (Stand UP and Be Counted, or line up and be numbered - *DTOM* -vvv- NO Pity for the LAZY - 86-44)
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To: John Semmens

Bush’s fault!


16 posted on 06/14/2014 7:20:24 AM PDT by ViLaLuz (2 Chronicles 7:14)
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To: Fitzy_888

Maybe if we fund the Democrats they will start shooting each other? I mean like in the foot of course, politically speaking of course.


17 posted on 06/14/2014 8:23:19 AM PDT by TomasUSMC (FIGHT LIKE WW2, WIN LIKE WW2. FIGHT LIKE NAM, FINISH LIKE NAM.)
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To: John Semmens
[Mister]...Obama urged graduates to “vote Republicans out of office before they chain you to a life of sweat, toil, and unwanted personal responsibility.”

“Our country is at a crossroad,” Obama declared. “Will we continue to go forward toward a future of government-funded leisure for all? Or will the reactionaries of the GOP be permitted to drag us backward toward a lifestyle where everyone is dependent upon his or her own efforts?”

Semmens clarifies the essence of the speech (and speaker), n'est ce pas?

Another fine/scary column, John!

.

18 posted on 06/14/2014 8:43:33 AM PDT by Seaplaner (Never give in. Never give in. Never...except to convictions of honour and good sense. W. Churchill)
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To: Seaplaner
He's mulling cash he has the Treasury printing or a charge adding to the national debt for his morning golf right now.

As with all things Obama, it will always be a lose lose situation for the USA.

19 posted on 06/14/2014 8:45:34 AM PDT by A CA Guy ( God Bless America, God Bless and keep safe our fighting men and women.)
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To: John Semmens
Obama can mull his options for another week or so, at which time the invaders will have complete control of Iraq. Problem solved.

Thank you for the ping.

20 posted on 06/14/2014 8:49:31 AM PDT by fatnotlazy
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To: John Semmens

Do not assume for a moment that the obamists are opposed to ISIS taking Baghdad.


21 posted on 06/14/2014 10:08:26 AM PDT by marron
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To: John Semmens

It was a good presser by Mr. Earnest....;)


22 posted on 06/14/2014 6:18:33 PM PDT by Tainan (Cogito, ergo conservatus sum -- "The Taliban is inside the building")
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To: John Semmens

Obama makes Treebeard look like the flash when it comes to decisions.


23 posted on 06/14/2014 6:21:44 PM PDT by BulletBobCo
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To: TexasCajun

Option E. Call Reggie, see what he is up to...


24 posted on 06/14/2014 6:24:59 PM PDT by Delta Dawn (Fluent in two languages: English and cursive.)
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To: John Semmens
"His release of detainees from Guantanamo should’ve earned us a reservoir of good will with the Islamic community in general and its terror arm in specific. So, we have that going for us.”

"And I say, 'Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.' And he says, 'Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.' So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."

25 posted on 06/15/2014 8:20:30 PM PDT by higgmeister ( In the Shadow of The Big Chicken!)
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