Skip to comments.CFPB Announces Broad New Powers [satire]
Posted on 06/22/2014 11:05:37 AM PDT by John Semmens
The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau announced in the Federal Register that it will aggressively deploy cease and desist orders against businesses whose activities are a detriment to the nations well-being. For the moment this new authority is interim. It is expected to become final on July 18.
For too long the Government has sat idly by while businesses have foisted unsafe and unhealthy products on an unsuspecting public, CFPB Director Richard Cordray charged. Under Section 1053(c) of the Dodd-Frank Act, we are empowered to protect the general public by ordering offending businesses to cease and desist.
Two industries that are expected to be first-in-line for a stepped up enforcement using this tool are gun manufacturers and fast food restaurants. The sole purpose of a gun is to kill something or someone, Cordray said. It is an inherently unsafe product. By issuing a cease and desist order to manufacturers of these demonic devices we can bypass the inability of Congress to enact meaningful gun control laws.
Fast food is an even more insidious threat, Cordray continued. Its probably responsible for more deaths than firearms. Yet, despite the best efforts of the First Lady businesses are still allowed to sell and consumers still allowed to buy these sickening comestibles. Well, the CFPB is going to ride to her rescue. Those who refuse to heed her request to offer healthier food choices will be shut down until they agree to comply.
Businesses shut down by a CFPB cease and desist order could appeal the decision, but would remain closed as long as the CFPB deems warranted or until the CFPB order is overruled by a court. Either way, affected businesses could be without revenue for an extended period. Even if a court ultimately overturned a CFPB order the Agency would retain sovereign immunity for any damages suffered by shuttered businesses.
Concerned that the CFPB may be overstepping its bounds to the detriment of both businesses and consumers, Representative Sean Duffy (R-Wisc) has drafted legislation aimed at curbing the Agency. Whether it will go anywhere seems doubtful, though. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev) denounced Duffys bill as an unconstitutional infringement on the Presidents right and duty to protect the American people from profiteers purveying unsafe and unhealthy products.
In related news, First Lady Michelle Obama vowed she would veto any legislative attempt to tamper with my school lunch program. Schools have pressed Congress for relief from Michelles dietary guidelines on the grounds that students refuse to eat the food the guidelines require. The First Lady was unmoved. Uneaten healthy food is better than eaten unhealthy food, she argued. Hunger will eventually bring the kids around.
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
All Business for Obama OK , All Business against Obama must GO
Michelle has VETO power now ..????????
And just who decides what are “unsafe and unhealthy products” and what aren’t. I would never want a bureaucrat making an decision which affects my livelihood.
I can see hundreds of family farms going out of business because some city-slicker deciding the farm tractor is unsafe, or the chicken poop contaminates the egg.
Grinnin’, and shakin’ my head John. Good one again.
Thanks for adding [Satire] to the thread title. Seems only fair.
I’m not sure this is satire... don’t give this administration any ideas...