Skip to comments.UK's NHS Defends Investment in Boob Jobs
Posted on 08/01/2014 2:53:23 PM PDT by John Semmens
While the United Kingdom's National Health Service spends more than £50 million per year subsidizing breast augmentation surgeries it refuses to pay for a drug that can help extend the survival time for cancer patients. A stark contrast between the cases of Josie Cunningham and Reece Hawley has raised eyebrows.
The buxom Ms. Cunningham's breast enlargement was funded by the NHS back in 2009. She currently is selling pay-per-view tickets at £10,000 a pop to see her giving birth later this month. Reece Hawley is a trainee teacher.
NHS spokesman Howard Titman attempted to explain the seemingly anomalous treatment of these two individuals. "Basically, Mr. Hawley is a goner," Titman said. "With the therapies available the prospect of him living more than a year or two is exceedingly slim. Even then the quality of life he'd experience would be pretty bad. On the other hand, a woman who has had breast augmentation is projected to live many years at a higher stage of happiness because of the procedure."
"Since the NHS has limited resources we have to make choices," Titman went on. "It seems to us that buying many years of happiness for some easily outweighs buying a few miserable extra months for those desperately ill. As for Mr. Reece being sick through no fault of his ownwell we can't really be sure of that. We can be sure that small-breasted women are the victims of an insufficient genetic inheritance. Why shouldn't we fix that?"
In related news, Lithuanian Health Minister Ilze alaevičiūte proposed that the elderly poor be compassionately euthanized both for their own good and the good of society. "Scarce resources must not be wasted on stringing out the lives of relatively useless members of the community through expensive medical treatments," alaevičiūte maintained. "Those we have sustained on public assistance while they were young and health have already consumed more than their fair share. If they are old and ill it is their social duty to die. We must provide a convenient and comfortable exit for them."
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
Boob jobs pay dividends?
What kind of return on that investment are they getting?
Now wait a second. There are two kinds of Boobs. Type #1. Emptyheaded Type #2. When Cup-runneth over.
Votes for the Labour Party.
One or two votes?
Depends on how efficient their voter fraud is.
From the "You can't make this stuff up file.
Sittin’ here grinnin’, and shakin’ my head John.
Thanks for the ping.
Article AND thread are worthless without pictures.
What about booty enhancement?
I don’t understand. Where’s the parody?
Thks for the ping, but, by habit, I always read ALL posts regarding those bastards at NHS.
They almost killed me when I was 4 years old. Only quick thinking by my late father allows me to type this note. Quite a tale, I assure you. Got to see my very first American baseball game because of the incident.
And your satire (as usual) was spot on. Titman, forsooth!
CommieCare’s real objective is to arrive at a single payer system .... national healthcare funded and controlled by the elite Progressives of the country. Boobs for my dearest, death to my enemies.
Well, SOME of us certainly got it, Chaguito...see my previous post. Boob jobs, Titman...ok?
I got lost in the reality and missed the choicest bits.
There has to be 100 good jokes buried in this :-)
Good one, John!
Semmens goes international. Is the world ready?
Dang it...ya beat me to the punch(line), lol.
Does Obamacare cover t** jobs?
This would be funny if I didn’t realize the US health care system is headed that way
Thanks again for the ping
It IS made up!
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