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UK's NHS Defends Investment in Boob Jobs
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 1 August 2014 | John Semmens

Posted on 08/01/2014 2:53:23 PM PDT by John Semmens

While the United Kingdom's National Health Service spends more than £50 million per year subsidizing breast augmentation surgeries it refuses to pay for a drug that can help extend the survival time for cancer patients. A stark contrast between the cases of Josie Cunningham and Reece Hawley has raised eyebrows.

The buxom Ms. Cunningham's breast enlargement was funded by the NHS back in 2009. She currently is selling pay-per-view tickets at £10,000 a pop to see her giving birth later this month. Reece Hawley is a trainee teacher.

NHS spokesman Howard Titman attempted to explain the seemingly anomalous treatment of these two individuals. "Basically, Mr. Hawley is a goner," Titman said. "With the therapies available the prospect of him living more than a year or two is exceedingly slim. Even then the quality of life he'd experience would be pretty bad. On the other hand, a woman who has had breast augmentation is projected to live many years at a higher stage of happiness because of the procedure."

"Since the NHS has limited resources we have to make choices," Titman went on. "It seems to us that buying many years of happiness for some easily outweighs buying a few miserable extra months for those desperately ill. As for Mr. Reece being sick through no fault of his own—well we can't really be sure of that. We can be sure that small-breasted women are the victims of an insufficient genetic inheritance. Why shouldn't we fix that?"

In related news, Lithuanian Health Minister Ilze Šalaševičiūte proposed that the elderly poor be compassionately euthanized both for their own good and the good of society. "Scarce resources must not be wasted on stringing out the lives of relatively useless members of the community through expensive medical treatments," Šalaševičiūte maintained. "Those we have sustained on public assistance while they were young and health have already consumed more than their fair share. If they are old and ill it is their social duty to die. We must provide a convenient and comfortable exit for them."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/160548-2014-08-01-semi-news-a-satire-of-recent-news-august-3-2014.htm


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: boobs; euthanasia; satire; socializedmedicine

1 posted on 08/01/2014 2:53:23 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Boob jobs pay dividends?

What kind of return on that investment are they getting?

lol


2 posted on 08/01/2014 2:57:13 PM PDT by GeronL (Vote for Conservatives not for Republicans)
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To: John Semmens

Now wait a second. There are two kinds of Boobs. Type #1. Emptyheaded Type #2. When Cup-runneth over.


3 posted on 08/01/2014 3:00:45 PM PDT by lee martell
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To: GeronL
What kind of return on that investment are they getting?

Votes for the Labour Party.

4 posted on 08/01/2014 3:08:17 PM PDT by Tax-chick (No power in the 'verse can stop me.)
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To: Tax-chick

One or two votes?

//sarc


5 posted on 08/01/2014 3:09:15 PM PDT by GeronL (Vote for Conservatives not for Republicans)
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To: John Semmens
It makes perfect sense when you put it that way.
It's not right but I can't express why, without invoking foreign concepts like ... morality, ethics.

6 posted on 08/01/2014 3:09:27 PM PDT by BitWielder1 (Corporate Profits are better than Government Waste)
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To: GeronL

Depends on how efficient their voter fraud is.


7 posted on 08/01/2014 3:10:47 PM PDT by Tax-chick (No power in the 'verse can stop me.)
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To: John Semmens
NHS spokesman Howard Titman

From the "You can't make this stuff up file.

8 posted on 08/01/2014 3:48:45 PM PDT by Arrowhead1952 (The Second Amendment is NOT about the right to hunt. It IS a right to shoot tyrants.)
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To: #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 2ndDivisionVet; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

ping


9 posted on 08/01/2014 4:23:18 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Sittin’ here grinnin’, and shakin’ my head John.

Thanks for the ping.


10 posted on 08/01/2014 4:30:19 PM PDT by rockinqsranch ((Dems, Libs, Socialists, call 'em what you will. They ALL have fairies livin' in their trees.))
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To: John Semmens

Article AND thread are worthless without pictures.


11 posted on 08/01/2014 4:31:31 PM PDT by moovova
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To: John Semmens

What about booty enhancement?


12 posted on 08/01/2014 4:37:19 PM PDT by ViLaLuz (2 Chronicles 7:14)
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To: John Semmens

I don’t understand. Where’s the parody?


13 posted on 08/01/2014 5:19:20 PM PDT by Chaguito
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To: John Semmens
John --

Thks for the ping, but, by habit, I always read ALL posts regarding those bastards at NHS.

They almost killed me when I was 4 years old. Only quick thinking by my late father allows me to type this note. Quite a tale, I assure you. Got to see my very first American baseball game because of the incident.

And your satire (as usual) was spot on. Titman, forsooth!

;^)

14 posted on 08/01/2014 5:24:31 PM PDT by SAJ
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To: John Semmens

CommieCare’s real objective is to arrive at a single payer system .... national healthcare funded and controlled by the elite Progressives of the country. Boobs for my dearest, death to my enemies.


15 posted on 08/01/2014 5:24:39 PM PDT by RetiredTexasVet (His Arrogance would love to replace John Kerry-Heinz but all the trained monkeys turned him down.)
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To: Chaguito

Well, SOME of us certainly got it, Chaguito...see my previous post. Boob jobs, Titman...ok?


16 posted on 08/01/2014 5:25:58 PM PDT by SAJ
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To: SAJ

I got lost in the reality and missed the choicest bits.


17 posted on 08/01/2014 5:30:29 PM PDT by Chaguito
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To: John Semmens

TTIUWP


18 posted on 08/01/2014 5:35:50 PM PDT by fso301
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To: John Semmens

There has to be 100 good jokes buried in this :-)


19 posted on 08/01/2014 6:00:08 PM PDT by EagleUSA
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To: John Semmens

20 posted on 08/01/2014 6:03:46 PM PDT by nascarnation (Toxic Baraq Syndrome: hopefully infecting a Dem candidate near you)
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To: John Semmens
End discrimination now!

BOOB JOBS FOR THE ELDERLY!!!


21 posted on 08/01/2014 6:17:46 PM PDT by smoothsailing
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To: John Semmens

Good one, John!


22 posted on 08/01/2014 6:42:00 PM PDT by Smokin' Joe (How often God must weep at humans' folly. Stand fast. God knows what He is doing.)
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To: John Semmens

Semmens goes international. Is the world ready?


23 posted on 08/01/2014 9:11:30 PM PDT by TChad (The Obamacare motto: Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori.)
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To: Arrowhead1952

Dang it...ya beat me to the punch(line), lol.


24 posted on 08/01/2014 10:04:33 PM PDT by berdie
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To: John Semmens

Does Obamacare cover t** jobs?


25 posted on 08/01/2014 11:42:37 PM PDT by Impy (Think for yourself)
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To: John Semmens

This would be funny if I didn’t realize the US health care system is headed that way

Thanks again for the ping


26 posted on 08/02/2014 7:31:52 AM PDT by fatnotlazy
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To: Impy

http://blog.stlcosmeticsurgery.com/facelift/how-will-the-affordable-care-act-impact-our-cosmetic-procedures/


27 posted on 08/02/2014 7:34:21 AM PDT by nascarnation (Toxic Baraq Syndrome: hopefully infecting a Dem candidate near you)
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To: Arrowhead1952
From the "You can't make this stuff up file.

It IS made up!

:-)

28 posted on 08/02/2014 4:01:37 PM PDT by Fido969 (What's sad is most)
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