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Satire: NY Dems Warn Voters
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 31 Oct 2014 | John Semmens

Posted on 10/31/2014 11:56:04 PM PDT by John Semmens

The New York State Democratic Committee (NYSDC) has sent out letters to registered Party members warning them that they are being watched to see if they vote in this election. While the letter tried to assure the recipients that their ballots would be secret, it emphasized that “whether you vote is a matter of public record.”

NYSDC Chairman, former New York Governor David Patrick, characterized the note as a “friendly reminder. The Democratic Party has done its part to secure a lot of benefits for these people. It’s only fair that they do their share to help keep the cash flowing into the welfare programs.”

Patrick denied that the letters might be perceived as threats. “They’re no more threatening than having your big brother point out the importance of good behavior. We’re all one big happy family. Each member has got to do his or her part.”

Rep. Charles Rangel (D-NY) argued that “the minimal effort we are asking pales in comparison to the fate that awaits Democratic voters if Republicans win, namely, a return to virtual slavery, as programs are slashed and people are forced to take jobs in order to support themselves.”

Rangel also suggested that “if the registered voter is unable or unwilling to cast a ballot himself, he at least owes it to the Party to give us advance notice so we can send a proxy to sub for him at the polls. He shouldn’t just let this opportunity to help elect Democrats go to waste.”

In related news, Senator Mary Landrieu (D-La) blamed her sagging poll numbers on “racism and sexism. I am truly ashamed that the citizens of my state are putting their prejudices ahead of their loyalty to me and the President. I’ve done everything I could to back President Obama’s program for America. Instead of thanks I’m getting the heave-ho because of the same kind of bigotry that has long stained Louisiana history.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://azconservative.org/2014/11/01/ebola-czar-said-to-be-leading-by-example/


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: democrats; racism; satire; sexism

1 posted on 10/31/2014 11:56:04 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

On November 7, the world will end, mothers will not be able to nurture their children, the seas will no longer be held back.


2 posted on 11/01/2014 12:01:25 AM PDT by Jonty30 (What Islam and secularism have in common is that they are both death cults)
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To: John Semmens

Yesterday I got a letter, addressed to a mis-spelling of my name, from something called the “Voter Participation Center”. This letter reminded me about the upcoming election, reminded me that I could register to vote at the polls on election day if I provided “proof of residence” (it actually takes a little more than that) and bemoaned the fact that I had not voted in Wisonsin elections.

It went on to assure me that my ballot would be secret, the voting booth would be private, and that voting would be “free of intimidation”.

It then warned that I might be “called after the election to discuss [my] experience at the polls.”

True story. No satire. Spooky to receive this notice on Halloween!


3 posted on 11/01/2014 12:25:41 AM PDT by afraidfortherepublic
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To: John Semmens

People in North Carolina are getting letters, too. For all I know, I did - I throw many pieces of mail away unopened.


4 posted on 11/01/2014 3:08:25 AM PDT by Tax-chick (Advent begins in one month. Clean house!)
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To: John Semmens

No more robocalls - we have a winner!


5 posted on 11/01/2014 3:25:50 AM PDT by BraveMan
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To: All
Sen Mary Landrieu (Dem-La) blamed her sagging poll numbers on “racism and sexism. I am truly ashamed that the citizens of my state are putting their prejudices ahead of their loyalty to me and the President. I’ve done everything I could to back Obama’s program for America. Instead of thanks I’m getting the heave-ho because of the same kind of bigotry that has long stained Louisiana history.”

"Hi voters. I managed to unglue my lips from Obama's
*** to be here. That's why my mouth looks so funny."

6 posted on 11/01/2014 3:50:05 AM PDT by Liz
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To: John Semmens

It’s true in one way. It is the way they think.


7 posted on 11/01/2014 4:56:27 AM PDT by BigCinBigD (...Was that okay?)
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To: Liz
She's really let herself go. Apparently to the buffett...
8 posted on 11/01/2014 4:58:50 AM PDT by BigCinBigD (...Was that okay?)
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To: BigCinBigD

Looks like Hillary junior. Pass. Yuk!


9 posted on 11/01/2014 6:14:06 AM PDT by W. (They switched colors because blue top peanut butter has all the nuts in it!)
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To: John Semmens; neverdem; The Mayor; Behind Liberal Lines; Steely Tom; lysie

They’re desperate here in NYS.

The incumbent in CNY Maffei is taking an absolute beating in the polls.

Here’s a link to an article that appeared in the local paper.

Katko takes 10 point lead over Maffei in Siena poll

http://www.localsyr.com/story/d/story/katko-takes-10-point-lead-over-maffei-in-siena-pol/14998/2d-vDsref0qOlYleBxIxOg#.VFLpx6puMfo.gma

The local paper is endorsing Katko and the guy on the radio said that in two terms and five election cycles, Maffei has never taken up an offer to be on the radio with him to discuss the issues for the voters.

Here’s a link to Kakto’s website.
http://www.johnkatkoforcongress.com/issues/


10 posted on 11/01/2014 7:15:00 AM PDT by metmom (...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith...)
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To: John Semmens

Poor John....It’s getting so difficult to write satire in the face of ridiculous liberal behavior.


11 posted on 11/01/2014 7:16:27 AM PDT by G Larry (Amnesty imposes SLAVE WAGES on LEGAL immigrants & minorities)
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To: metmom

Good News. A very nice (older) man came to my house to pitch him to me. I told him I’d be voting for him (Katko). We had a nice talk.


12 posted on 11/01/2014 7:24:35 AM PDT by Steely Tom (Thank you for self-censoring.)
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To: BigCinBigD

Didn’t she actually used to be kinda attractive, maybe 20 or 30 pounds ago?


13 posted on 11/01/2014 7:33:06 AM PDT by Bob (Violence in islam? That's not a bug; it's a feature.)
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To: Bob

Perhaps. In an drunken fun house mirror sort of way.


14 posted on 11/01/2014 7:48:25 AM PDT by BigCinBigD (...Was that okay?)
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To: John Semmens

“We know where you live”.

Hey, let’s find out where THEY live!


15 posted on 11/01/2014 8:23:42 AM PDT by JimRed (Excise the cancer before it kills us; feed & water the Tree of Liberty! TERM LIMITS NOW & FOREVER!)
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To: metmom
Katko signs ALL over CNY.

Looks like Muffy has turned some unions off. I was surprised when I read the unions representing Central New York’s three largest law enforcement agencies endorsed Republican John Katko for Congress in his bid to unseat Dem. U.S. Rep. Dan Maffei.

16 posted on 11/01/2014 9:44:55 AM PDT by lysie
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To: lysie

Interesting, isn’t it?

I would LOVE to have a real conservative representing us again.


17 posted on 11/01/2014 9:49:41 AM PDT by metmom (...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith...)
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