Skip to comments.Legalising Man-Dolphin Marriage Is Next
Posted on 02/03/2015 3:20:34 PM PST by Enza Ferreri
Why shouldn't this man be (or have been) allowed to marry his dolphin sweetheart?
After all, it's only "love" that matters in holy matrimony, not building a family and a safe environment in which to raise kids.
It's all to do with "feelings" these days, little else is important, and obviously we are here talking about the feelings of adults. (The feelings of children of anomalous families carry little weight.) Love in particular, however defined. For some people, like paedophile Oscar Wilde who was paying to have sex with working-class rent boys, the definition of love is lust.
A man says he fell in love with a female dolphin, Dolly, in the 1970s and had a sexual relationship with her for a year.
In addition to this, there is the terrible reality of the captivity of Dolly at Floridaland amusement park (now fortunately defunct), where she was a "performing dolphin".
He claimed the encounter took place because Dolly seduced him.
Malcolm Brenner, 63, claims that he fell for Dolly, a bottlenose dolphin who lived at the now-defunct Floridaland theme park in Sarasota, after her amorous advances.In the fifteen-minute video, Brenner describes in detail the sexual relationship, which he claims was consensual.
Brenner told the story of their year-long affair relationship again in Dolphin Love, a new film which premiered last week at the Slamdance Film Festival in Park City, Utah.
Slamdance, which takes place at the same time as the more famous Sundance film festival, is seen as its edgier alternative and hosts more niche films.
Brenner's acts would be illegal today. But Florida only enacted a law banning bestiality in 2011, so the encounter he described in 1971 would not be covered.I suppose such a law was not necessary then, but nowadays we are much more "progressive" and zoophiles have become a common occurrence.
I didn’t do it on porpoise.
And it’s all on porpoise.
LOVE IS LOVE YOU HATERS!!
"I just want the veterinary benefits for Spot!"
You are drunk to the gills, going on with your tail...
Can I haz a blow hole?
This seems one sided....what about woman dolphin marriage?
Best Of Dr. Demento
It was April the 41st, being a quadruple leap year
I was driving in downtown Atlantis
My Barracuda was in the shop, so I was in a rented Stingray, and it was overheating
So I pulled into a Shell station
They said I’d blown a seal
I said, “Fix the damn thing and leave my private life out of it, okay pal?”
While they were doing that I walked over to a place called the oyster bar — a real dive
But I knew the owner, he used to play for the Dolphins
I said, “Hi, Gil!!!”
You hafta yell, he’s hard of herring
Think I had a wet dream
Cruisin’ through the Gulf Stream
Gil was also down on his luck
Fact is, he was barely keeping his head below water
I gullied up to the sandbar
He poured the usual
Rusty snail, hold the grunion, shaken, not stirred
With a peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich on the side — heavy on the mako
I slipped him a fin — on porpoise
I was feeling good
I even dropped a sand dollar in the box for Jerry’s Squids — for the halibut
Well, the place was crowded
We were packed in like sardines
They were all there to listen to the big band sounds of Tommy Dorsal —
Tommy was rockin’ the place with a very popular tuna — “Salmon Chanted Evening”
And the stage was surrounded by screaming groupers
Probably there to see the bass player
One of them was this cute little yellowtail
And she’s giving ME the eye
So I figure, this is my chance for a little fun
You know — a piece of Pisces
But she said things I just couldn’t fathom
She was too deep, and seemed to be under a lot of pressure
Boy, could she drink
She drank like a... she drank A LOT...
I said, “What’s your sign?”
She said, “Aquarium”
I said, “GREAT!!! Let’s get tanked!”
I invited her up to my place for a little midnight bait
I said, “C’mon baby, it’ll only take a few minnows”
She threw me that same old line
“Not tonight — I got a haddock”
And she wasn’t kiddin’ either, ‘cuz in came the biggest, meanest looking haddock I’d ever seen come down the pike
He was covered with mussels
He came over to me, he said, “Listen shrimp — don’t you come trolling around here”
What a crab
This guy was steamed — I could see the anchor in his eyes
I turned to him, I said, “Abalone — You’re just being shellfish”
Well, I knew it was going to be trouble, and so did Gil, ‘cuz he was already on the phone to the cods
The haddock hits me with a sucker punch
I catch him with a left hook
He eels over
It was a fluke, but there he was, lying on the deck, flat as a mackerel
I said, “Forget the cods, Gil, this guy’s gonna need a sturgeon”
Well, the yellowtail was impressed with the way I landed her boyfriend
She came over to me, she said, “Hey big boy, you’re really a game fish”
“What’s your name?”
I said, “Marlin”
Well from then on, we had a whale of a time
I took her to dinner
I took her to dance
I bought her a bouquet of flounders
And then I went home with her
And what did I get for my trouble?
A case of the clams
that’s REALLY bad. LOL
Just wait when we're forced to bake them wedding cakes.
Hey, I “love” my dog. If that represents a tax reduction, I’m all for it.....
I’m already in a domestic partnership with Andy Cat. We sleep together every night without benefit of a contract. And he orders me around about serving his dinner on time.
Should we go get a license or continue to live in sin?
Now that, rihtch dare, is funny...
You can. Unless the mods pull my pic.
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