Posted on 03/26/2015 8:28:18 PM PDT by 2ndDivisionVet
After Texas senator Ted Cruz announced his intention to run for president on Monday, I was pleased with my Republican friends' response to this news.
It's not often that college-aged liberals and conservatives roll their eyes in unison, but that appeared to happen when that boob asked his Liberty University audience to imagine an America where "young people (come) out of school with four, five, six job offers."
This was nice, this shared derisive response to Ted Cruz and his astounding senselessness. I like it when we all can agree on things.
But then I thought of all the times when we really can't agree — the bad times when I consider deleting a few Facebook friends and the even worse times when delivering a sack of feces to someone's door or slicing off my own nipple in protest seem to be the best options.
For example, I'm so sick of same-sex marriage talk. At this point, people who oppose it are kind of wasting their time. It's basically the Motorola flip phone of talking points. I was once voted "Most Likely to Champion for Divorce Equality," and that's pretty much where I currently stand on this issue.
But still there are some really important issues that come up, some really emotionally charged debates that actually make me angry.
Nothing gets my uterus in a wad faster than hearing a waiting-'til-marriage Young Republican talk about saving unborn lives. And don't get me started on Israel. I recently noticed a "Made in Israel" label on my generic brand Allegra bottle, and I've dreamt of Palestinian children and extreme congestion ever since.
These red hot buttons get everyone fired up, and sometimes it's hard to figure out who are the sheep, the trolls or the sheep in troll's clothing.
So why do I keep them around? Why be friends with conservatives?
Have you ever sniffed your own armpit, decided it was stinky and then sniffed it again with an insatiable and morbid curiosity? That's why I have conservative friends. I like to keep sniffin' 'em long after I've become familiar with the smell.
As if they were a stars and stripes-clad, unicycle-riding clown holding a megaphone and rolling down the street, you really can't look away.
And there's another thing. I love my more conservative friends, even the most annoying, because I was once among them. The hypocrisy of ditching them at this point would make me feel just as guilty as my Made-in-Israel allergy medicine.
Confession time: I was once a card-carrying member of the NRA, even though I've only shot a gun one time when my junior prom date gave me a lesson. His dad made us schnitzel after. It was nice.
And I'm still on the College Republicans email list — a remnant of my freshman days — despite repeated attempts to have myself removed with direct appeals to the past two presidents.
Also I voted for Gary Johnson in 2012. Whatever.
And really, what are the real differences between liberals and conservatives anyway? Besides flame-resistant bras, fat pockets and a little extra racism on the side?
When you spend as much time on Facebook as I do and an old friend's ex boyfriend (why hasn't he been deleted yet?) posts about the Antichristic Obama and you think it's ClickHole at first and you like it without proper consideration: well, that's how you know it's true — life imitates art.
It's also how you know that we are all the same: parodies of ourselves, obsessive and egotistical and opinionated, at times an insult to any notion of true human progress and guilty of being susceptible to mind-numbing propaganda — or else ruthlessly dedicated to an assertive sort of apathy, perhaps the most obnoxious quality of all.
A friend of mine — a conservative friend, no less — once told me that we hate those who embody qualities we fear we may ourselves possess. When I see the pro-lifers on campus with their massive mangled fetus photos or hear someone say "guns don't kill people, people kill people," I can't help but wonder if I'm just as annoying when I'm all like "we should probably do something about global climate change."
No, this is not necessarily a call for bipartisanship or reaching across the aisle or anything like that, I'm just trying to tell it like it is.
Truthfully, we are all sheep, though some of us wear troll's clothing, and we all suffer from hating each other.
Vote Hillary in 2016!
Conservatives believe in reason, logic, and accountability. They understand basic economics and historical context.
Liberals do not.
“If you're not a liberal at twenty you have no heart; if you're not a conservative at forty you have no brain.”
American decadence and decline on full display. This young woman is the personification of neo pagan nihilism.
Apparently I have no heart. Guess I can scratch heart attacks off my list of stuff to worry about.
A genitals voter. The difference is conservatives vote based on thought and logic and , liberals vote based on their genitals.
Can you imagine a man writing, " nothing gets my ***is in a wad faster. " What an absolutely shallow person.
And this liberal voter would vote for an incompetent criminal because her private parts are more important than reason. hrumph
Same here. At least we have brains.
Liberals go for what catches the heart or for what appears the most politically correct or protective of a victim class. Sob stories shape policy for them.
Conservatives think rather than feel about issues, and they use logic to choose policy based on the a constitution and freedom for the individual.
Progressive is a stupid adjective for politics. Liberals use it because they like the way it fakes futuristic thinking, but it often is just socialism with a snob edge.
“And there’s another thing. I love my more conservative friends, even the most annoying, because I was once among them”
You’re a stone cold liar. You were never among us.
“Confession time: I was once a card-carrying member of the NRA”
Any way to check this with the NRA?
“Also I voted for Gary Johnson in 2012. Whatever.”
Sure.
“And really, what are the real differences between liberals and conservatives anyway? Besides flame-resistant bras, fat pockets and a little extra racism on the side?”
The difference is that liberals like you tend to lie. Conservatives tend to tell the truth.
“A friend of mine — a conservative friend, no less — once told me that we hate those who embody qualities we fear we may ourselves possess.”
Yeah, suuuuuure.
What an awful man!
Who shoots a firearm once (which means she never owned one) and joins the NRA?
After Texas senator Ted Cruz announced his intention to run for president on Monday, I was pleased with my Republican friends’ response to this news. It’s not often that college-aged liberals and conservatives roll their eyes in unison …Uh-oh, conflating “Republican” and “conservative” again; the mark of someone lying about ever being conservative in any way. (Never mind voting for Gary Johnson, a libertarian.)
Yes, vote Hilary for the future, for new fresh ideas
She is just like us :
Conservatives vs. Liberals
Conservatives love the Fourth of July and celebrate it enthusiastically.
Liberals hate the Fourth of July and refuse to celebrate it.
Conservatives love the “Star-Spangled Banner” and want to keep it as our National Anthem.
Liberals hate the “Star-Spangled Banner” and want to replace it with “We Are the World.”
Conservatives know that life begins at conception.
Liberals believe life begins at birth.
Conservatives judge people as individuals.
Liberals judge people as members of groups—races, classes, etc.
Conservatives believe Islamic terrorism poses the greatest threat to America.
Liberals believe anthropogenic global warming poses the greatest threat to America.
Conservatives wave the flag.
Liberals burn the flag.
Conservatives say, “God bless America.”
Liberals say, “God damn America.”
Conservatives support the death penalty and oppose baby murder.
Liberals oppose the death penalty and support baby murder.
Conservatives see Communists as a threat.
Liberals see anti-Communists as a threat.
Conservatives want to fight crime by locking up criminals.
Liberals want to fight crime by disarming law-abiding citizens.
Conservatives believe that all viewpoints should be tolerated.
Liberals say, “no freedom of speech for fascists”—and “fascists” are all whose views are to the right of George McGovern.
Conservative football fans root for USC.
Liberal football fans root for UCLA.
This author is the real “boob”.
Here she is with more flattering pic, but still with no brains.
search for Alexandra Chiasson about 1/3 way down page. Headshake.
https://www.facebook.com/sexweekut
“Alexandra Chiasson, SEAT Executive Board Member and The Daily Beacon staff member”
She is old enough to know better, but it is Academia. Double Headshake.
Lena Dunham’s stunt double?
Keep in mind she posted the most attractive picture ever taken of her.
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