Posted on 03/31/2019 11:22:45 AM PDT by John Semmens
Hoaxer Jussie Smollett announced his exoneration after Kim Foxx, state attorney for Cook County, Illinois dismissed all charges against him. “The racist persecution of me by the Chicago Police Department has been debunked by higher authorities,” Smollett bragged. “This proves I told the truth.” He further went on to demand prosecution of “the Nigerian thugs who doused me with bleach and threatened to hang me.”
The Illinois Prosecutors Bar Association questioned Foxx’s “highly abnormal decision. Her phony recusal followed by a unilateral decree of exoneration without notice to the law enforcement entities who filed the charges violated the law. The claim that her action falls within the scope of a prosecutor’s discretion is dubious. The norm for declining to prosecute a case with such overwhelming evidence of guilt includes a defendant’s admission of responsibility. But as we have seen, Mr. Smollett continues to promulgate the same untruthful assertions that led to the hoax charges leveled against him.”
Foxx rebutted the Bar Association’s criticism by citing former FBI Director James Comey’s exoneration of Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton in July of 2016. “After listing a number of valid reasons why Sec. Clinton ought to have faced charges, Director Comey dismissed them,” Foxx pointed out. “Clinton was not required to admit guilt as a condition for Comey’s grant of amnesty. If a member of this country’s ruling class doesn’t have to follow the law it would be unfair to hold Mr. Smollett to these standards. As a gay black man he is a member of two protected classes.”
“I want to also express my appreciation to my good friend Tina Tchen for apprising me of the new precedent established by Director Comey’s action,” Foxx added. “There must be a level playing field if true justice is to be achieved. Mr. Smollett’s heritage of suffering in our racist and homophobic society is sufficient punishment for his ill-conceived efforts to highlight the toxic influence of Donald Trump.”
Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel seconded Foxx’s rationale. “Initially, I was shocked that her action was taken without informing either the Chicago Police Department or my office,” the Mayor said. “However, upon reflection I came to the understanding that if anyone is to blame it is President Trump. Trump’s unrelenting efforts to entice blacks off of welfare and into the workforce have stoked the kind of feelings of despair that inspire people like Mr. Smollett to concoct a narrative to try to counter this culture shock. In the grand scheme of things Smollett’s hoax was not out of step with the much bigger Russian collusion hoax that is still underway at the highest level of government, politics, and media. The small fish shouldn’t be treated more harshly than those big fish.”
In related news, Smollett has been nominated for an NAACP Image Award “for his creative reenactment of a vision of oppression that never happened to him, but might have in an alternate universe. This ‘street drama’ touched many hearts and minds and was so powerful that he was absolved of culpability for 16 felonies. Few other black individuals have accomplished so much at so little cost to themselves.”
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
https://azconservative.org/2019/03/30/smollett-exonerated-by-state-attorney/
Very close to achieving perfection.
Beautiful.
Congratulations, John. It’s not easy to make social justice sound even vaguely reasonable.
“As a gay black man he is a member of two protected classes.”
And he is in the unspoken no-prosecution recommended privilege class of lying Trump hater.
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