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North Korea Reports Kim Jong Un Is 'Most Alive Person In Universe'
Babylon Bee ^ | 04/25/2020

Posted on 04/26/2020 1:44:41 PM PDT by DFG

The Democratic People's Republic of Korea reported today that Kim Jong Un is not dead and in fact is "the most alive person in the universe."

"American fake news says Supreme Leader is dead, but we found that he was more alive than anyone ever in history," said a spokesperson. "If he lies in still vegetative state, it is only because he is stuffed so full of life like a big meal and needs time to properly digest all that life. So much life. Such great life."

According to the official statement released by the Korean Central News Agency, the dictator is not dead but is more alive than life itself. "Think of the most alive thing ever: a rambunctious toddler, a blooming flower, an angry bear. Pulsing, teeming with life: that is the very essence of our Supreme Leader."

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: china; dprk; japan; kimjongun; korea; northkorea; parody; pyongyang; russia; satire
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1 posted on 04/26/2020 1:44:41 PM PDT by DFG
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To: All

Kim Jong Deux


2 posted on 04/26/2020 1:46:41 PM PDT by Peter ODonnell (Pray for health, economic recovery, and justice.)
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To: AdmSmith; AnonymousConservative; Arthur Wildfire! March; Berosus; Bockscar; cardinal4; ColdOne; ...
Babylon Bee.

3 posted on 04/26/2020 1:46:48 PM PDT by SunkenCiv (Imagine an imaginary menagerie manager imagining managing an imaginary menagerie.)
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To: DFG

That’s it. He’s dead.


4 posted on 04/26/2020 1:47:36 PM PDT by dhs12345
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To: Peter ODonnell

Kim Jong Very Ill.


5 posted on 04/26/2020 1:51:59 PM PDT by dangus
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To: DFG

Jeffrey Epstein dead or Seth Rich dead


6 posted on 04/26/2020 1:52:07 PM PDT by Sarah Barracuda
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To: DFG

Pyongyang Rose


7 posted on 04/26/2020 1:54:01 PM PDT by faucetman (Just the facts, ma'am, Just the facts)
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To: DFG

I tbought that was the Dos Equis guy


8 posted on 04/26/2020 1:57:55 PM PDT by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire. Or both.)
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To: DFG

9 posted on 04/26/2020 2:00:23 PM PDT by PGR88
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To: DFG

What is very real is that femi-Nazis and scum media are already touting the tyrant b*tch successor as a win for women.


10 posted on 04/26/2020 2:00:48 PM PDT by shanover (...To disarm the people is the best and most effectual way to enslave them.-S.Adams)
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To: SunkenCiv

Yeh....noticed...


11 posted on 04/26/2020 2:01:36 PM PDT by Sacajaweau
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To: DFG

Alive as a beached Whale


12 posted on 04/26/2020 2:03:16 PM PDT by butlerweave
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To: DFG
Kim Jong Un watches his funeral with binoculars Kim Jong Un is dead
13 posted on 04/26/2020 2:13:18 PM PDT by Bon mots
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To: DFG
A Soviet leader was never more alive than the minute before his death was announced.
14 posted on 04/26/2020 2:13:19 PM PDT by KarlInOhio (Parachutes are only anecdotally effective due to the lack of significant double blind testing.)
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To: DFG
A Soviet leader was never more alive than the minute before his death was announced.
15 posted on 04/26/2020 2:14:22 PM PDT by KarlInOhio (Parachutes are only anecdotally effective due to the lack of significant double blind testing.)
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To: DFG

I always try to put myself int the “other guy’s shoes”. Let’s see, there is a virus that kills fat people...


16 posted on 04/26/2020 2:14:30 PM PDT by wastoute (Anyone who believes PsyOps are not involved has never met a PsyOps Officer.)
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To: DFG

He’s dead.

Just a head cold.


17 posted on 04/26/2020 2:15:06 PM PDT by Vermont Lt
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To: DFG

he is playing golf with daniel ortega...


18 posted on 04/26/2020 2:19:47 PM PDT by rolling_stone (tshf)
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To: DFG; moder_ator

This is one Bee article that belongs in breaking.


19 posted on 04/26/2020 2:19:48 PM PDT by Hieronymus (“I shall drink to the Pope, if you please, still, to conscience first, and to the Pope afterwards.)
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To: DFG

He’s gone, gone.


20 posted on 04/26/2020 2:30:36 PM PDT by LongWayHome
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