Skip to comments.Arson & Theft Mar Minneapolis Protest [semi-satire]
Posted on 05/29/2020 8:42:10 PM PDT by John Semmens
The legitimate grievance against the Minneapolis police who seem to have caused the death of subdued suspect George Floyd was undermined when opportunistic thieves and troublemakers used a protest demonstration as cover for robbery and arson. Businesses near the 3rd Precinct headquarters were vandalized, merchandise stolen, cash registers smashed open with hammers, and buildings set on fire. This display of lawless behavior was met by diverse responses.
Mayor Jacob Frey (D) was distressed that "those trying to liberate assets from their capitalist oppressors are not socially distancing as required by the Governors' emergency order. I want everyone to be safe. Thieves and arsonists should maintain a minimum six foot distance from other protest participants. While I was glad to see that most wore masks, there were still some who did not. Those without masks can pick one up at my office. Even if they don't think they need one for COVID protection, it is still useful for concealing one's identity from witnesses and surveillance cameras."
Race expert Al Sharpton lamented the fact that "some of the businesses robbed and destroyed were black-owned. One business burned down was a bar belonging to a former fireman who invested his life-savings in the venture. This is not the kind of tragedy we want to see." In contrast, presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden disagreed, saying "investing in a business is not typical black behavior. This is the kind of thing white people do. Based on the evidence I'd have to say that the bar owner ain't black."
Despite the fact that Minneapolis has been run by Democrats for decades and that the cop who killed Floyd had a long string of complaints against him for brutalityone of which he was allowed to skate on by Sen. Amy Klobuchar (D) when she was a prosecutor, CNN Tonight host Don Lemon blamed Trump for the violence. "Trump's statement that the looting and burning don't do a thing toward getting justice for Floyd is not something I want to hear at this point," Lemon complained. "He should be apologizing for the mistakes he and other whites have made that subjected blacks to 400 years of misery and suffering in this country. What he sees as crimes are more fairly construed as partial revenge for more than 400 years of injustice."
Loser of the 2016 presidential election Hillary Clinton questioned Trump's "biased response. His threat to use force to restore order places the lives and property of innocent business owners ahead of the rights of looters and arsonists. A president is the representative of all the people. He or she must show equal consideration for the rights of allvictim and criminal alike. That's the way it would be if I were president today."
Filmmaker Michael Moore accused white Minnesotans of complicity in Floyd's murder. "They elected the Mayor who appointed the police chief who nurtured the homicidal cop who killed Floyd," Moore contended. "To atone they should assist in demolishing the police headquarters and the City government."
MSNBC journalist Ali Velshi reported from on the scene that the mayhem "is not generally unruly. The acts of depredation are not random. The thefts are mostly high-end electronics and cash. The fires have been contained to the targeted buildings by quick responses from the fire department. So far the only fatality was a looter shot by a shopkeeper. On balance, I think we have to categorize the protest as relatively well-behaved compared to what it could have been."
Meanwhile, Floyd's death has been officially added to the COVID-19 death toll by the Minneapolis Health Department. A spokesman for the Department explained that "the reported breathing problems of Mr. Floyd just prior to his demise are symptomatic of the type of demise caused by the virus."
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
God, I love that phrase!!!
Satire? I often have to search the news to see which of your quotes are genuine and which are, um, "based on a true story".
If you truly love this country and want it healed of the internal rot & strife we see in so many areas of our national life, PLEASE spend 5 minutes (300 seconds) watching this POWERFUL message.
If it impacts you as it impacted me, PLEASE SHARE IT WIDELY.
Nailed it again, John! Good one!
That’s the end of the VP ambitions for Sen. Klofubar.
I believe it.
Hit it out of the park again, John!
The hard part is figuring out which part is satire!
Social Distancing while looting and death from COVID-19.
True signs of the times!!!!
Another good one John!!
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