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ALL THE STUFF I LEARNED FROM TV/MOVIES
Posted on 10/14/2003 10:41:16 AM PDT by Chancellor Palpatine
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To: Poohbah; wimpycat; dighton; Lazamataz; dubyaismypresident
.
To: Chancellor Palpatine
The law of gravity does not apply, until you look down.
3
posted on
10/14/2003 10:58:29 AM PDT
by
NeoCaveman
(the tax revolt is coming to Ohio, soon, very soon)
To: Chancellor Palpatine
A frying pan to the head will only cause superficial damage that can be fixed by shaking your head violently.
4
posted on
10/14/2003 12:01:47 PM PDT
by
Johnny Gage
(If you try to fail, and succeed ....... Which have you done?)
To: Johnny Gage; wardaddy
A corollary to this rule is that in a boxing match where both fighters are cut on each eye, bleeding profusely, and so out of it that they can't remember their own names, the ref won't stop the fight.
5
posted on
10/14/2003 12:06:00 PM PDT
by
Chancellor Palpatine
(Why do Scots wear kilts? Because sheep can hear zippers as far as 50 feet away......)
To: dubyaismypresident
Well trained guard dogs can be bribed with huge steaks.
6
posted on
10/14/2003 12:06:49 PM PDT
by
Chancellor Palpatine
(Why do Scots wear kilts? Because sheep can hear zippers as far as 50 feet away......)
To: Chancellor Palpatine
Every nuclear warhead in the US arsenal is fitted with a limited-try Permissive Action Link device designed to prevent unauthorized or inadvertent use of the weapon. After three tries with the wrong code (out of 1 trillion combinations), the warhead will disable itself.
The PAL is the product of the nation's best and brightest engineers, and has been rigorously tested.
Unfortunately, the PAL can be disabled with a penknife, some Crazy Glue, and a stun gun.
7
posted on
10/14/2003 12:13:56 PM PDT
by
Poohbah
("Would you mind not shooting at the thermonuclear weapons?" -- Major Vic Deakins, USAF)
To: msdrby
All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.ROFLMAO
8
posted on
10/14/2003 12:24:59 PM PDT
by
Prof Engineer
(Always use the word Impossible with the greatest caution ~ Werner Von Braun___ 5/14/04 Baby Moot '04)
To: Chancellor Palpatine
You can take that line about everyday NYers living in multimillion dollar lofts and readily extrapolate that nearly everyone of TV lives in housing that only a few can afford.
I remember as a kid that Beaver and My Three Sons and The Bradys etc all lived in far nicer homes than I did and I was under the impression that we were solid middle class and moving up.
However, there is no doubt that you average working family lives in a nicer home today than in the 60s and are willing to pay a larger percentage of income for it. My dad spent about 15% on mortgage of his income while many of my peers will pay 40% to live in a 3000 sq ft plus home in a nice area. Priorities have changed ...homes are now a lifestyle more than ever.
(rant off)
9
posted on
10/14/2003 12:25:24 PM PDT
by
wardaddy
(no, I'm not sucking up....)
To: wardaddy
Now that you mantion it, lets also talk about the office space occupied by middle rank employees on TV and movies. Corner window offices in nice high rises, expensively decorated, with those old battle axe secretaries (that are the most expensive and really know their stuff).
10
posted on
10/14/2003 12:40:31 PM PDT
by
Chancellor Palpatine
(Why do Scots wear kilts? Because sheep can hear zippers as far as 50 feet away......)
To: Chancellor Palpatine
There will always be on japanese kid wearing a baseball cap who understands all monsters.
That kid will always try to save the Godzillas of the world.
11
posted on
10/14/2003 12:52:54 PM PDT
by
NCC-1701
((Good luck, happy hunting, and God-speed to the US military and our allies in this operation.))
To: Chancellor Palpatine
No matter what time it is, you can turn on the tube and the story you have knowledge of will be the first item you see. Eveen before the 24 hour news channels, this was the case.
12
posted on
10/14/2003 12:56:06 PM PDT
by
NCC-1701
((Good luck, happy hunting, and God-speed to the US military and our allies in this operation.))
To: NCC-1701
"...There will always be on japanese kid wearing a baseball cap who understands all monsters..."
There will always be one Japanese kid wearing a baseball cap who understands all monsters
Sorry for the misspellings, all.
13
posted on
10/14/2003 12:57:34 PM PDT
by
NCC-1701
((Good luck, happy hunting, and God-speed to the US military and our allies in this operation.))
To: Chancellor Palpatine
read later
To: NCC-1701
Alien chicks never have the alien clap (that is a special rule which applies to Kirk only).
All aliens speak perfect English, eliminating all need to study a culture to understand their written and verbal communications before surreptitiously dropping in an observation team.
The noise of explosions travels in space.
15
posted on
10/14/2003 1:00:40 PM PDT
by
Chancellor Palpatine
(Why do Scots wear kilts? Because sheep can hear zippers as far as 50 feet away......)
To: Poohbah
Harriers can sit in bunkers at Ft. Hood, unmaintained for a thousand years. All you have to do is gas them up with fuel that hasn't changed either, give some people who have regressed to a barbarian state a few hours in a simulator, and they'll be expert pilots, able to shoot down alien aircraft of the superior technology that defeated mankind in the first place.
16
posted on
10/14/2003 1:21:37 PM PDT
by
Chancellor Palpatine
(Why do Scots wear kilts? Because sheep can hear zippers as far as 50 feet away......)
To: Chancellor Palpatine
If the peaceful alien visting earth is killed by our savage people, you can save the earth by finding a big robot and saying these words:
"Gort, Klaatau Berada Nikto"
17
posted on
10/14/2003 2:04:00 PM PDT
by
Moleman
To: Chancellor Palpatine
Specific to cartoons:
If there is a grand piano, a safe, or an anvil being hoisted up on a rope and pully- BEWARE
The heavy object is sure to fall on somebody
18
posted on
10/14/2003 2:05:38 PM PDT
by
Moleman
To: Chancellor Palpatine
Specific to sitcoms:
Overweight men with below average jobs can marry and/or date the hottest bimbos in town...
19
posted on
10/14/2003 2:07:28 PM PDT
by
Moleman
To: Chancellor Palpatine
Anytime a character drives to a building, there is always a primo parking space available right in front of the building.
Women go to bed at night with full makeup, including lipstick, and when they wake up in the morning it's still perfectly applied.
Couples start kissing as soon as they wake up in the morning and never have "morning breath."
20
posted on
10/14/2003 2:45:51 PM PDT
by
Nea Wood
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