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Granted, Nirvana revived rock, but the band has Britney to answer for too
SF chronicle ^ | Monday, April 5, 2004 | Aidin Vaziri

Posted on 04/05/2004 6:36:54 PM PDT by KneelBeforeZod

Everyone thinks Nirvana was the best thing to happen to pop music since Gerry & the Pacemakers.

Well, what about the part where they were responsible for Britney Spears and the return of teen-pop because they made everyone so miserable?

And who do you think is responsible for the Backstreet Boys, Bush, the Iraq war, gonorrhea, Avril Lavigne and everything else bad?

Looking back, Nirvana was just as useless as Adam and the Ants. So here's how Kurt and Co. ruined the world ...

... For Britney Spears: Before Nirvana, the battle lines were clearly drawn. The cool people liked the Pixies and Replacements, everyone else was a bunch of jerks. But after "Smells Like Teen Spirit" everything fell apart. Suddenly Terence Trent D'Arby fans were buying up copies of "Zen Arcade" and rock became pop -- fooling people into thinking that Hanson and Britney Spears were actually respectable. That or they just got tired of all the loud guitars and endless moaning.

... For Puddle of Mudd: About four hours after "Nevermind" came out, so did the clones. No one thought it could get any shoddier than Stone Temple Pilots, but then Bush arrived. Yet those thinking the worst was over were dead wrong -- there was still the wrath of the other bald tattooed men moaning about their miserable childhoods in bands like Staind, Puddle of Mudd and Creed. And what about the Vines? That's like if someone took Kurt Cobain's DNA sample, dropped it on the floor in some lint, and still made a clone anyway. Messed up.

... For Courtney Love: If Nirvana never got famous, then she wouldn't have married Kurt Cobain, he wouldn't have helped her write all the songs on Hole's breakthrough album, "Live Through This," and no one would have cared that she was such a desperate attention freak with a bad dye job and implants. But instead of fading into obscurity along with L7 and Bikini Kill, now we're forced to read about her antics every week in "Teen People."

... For Dave Grohl: He's the most boring rock star on the planet. Sure, he plays in every band from the Queens of the Stone Age to Probot, but imagine how wonderful the world would be without the dreary generic toss of the Foo Fighters. It's almost like that guy from the Lemonheads getting totally famous and making millions upon millions of dollars for sounding just like Blind Melon. It's just plain unfair. Plus he looks like Cojo.

... For flannel shirts: Here's a good idea -- let's all dress like lesbian trailer-park lumberjacks. Operating under the mistaken impression that rock stars should look poorer than their audiences, Nirvana dressed like hobos, inspiring everyone from Soul Asylum on down to follow suit. If the Spice Girls had never arrived, then our celebrities may have never gone back to a more respectable wardrobe of spandex and leather. Bless their hearts.

... For guitars: Before Nirvana arrived, everyone knew music after the year 2000 would totally be technological and rad -- just robots playing crazy drum 'n' bass with androids singing over it. People were totally sick of hearing lousy guitar rock by Eric Clapton and Tom Petty. But then Nirvana made guitars popular again, opening the gates for bands like the White Stripes and Nickelback to exist now. If it weren't for Bjork, we might as well all still be cavemen right now.

(Excerpt) Read more at sfgate.com ...


TOPICS: Miscellaneous; Music/Entertainment
KEYWORDS: kurtcobain; nirvana
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To: cyborg
The first Woodstock had it's problems (attendees burned down the food stands then too). Abbie Hoffman blackmailed the promoters into giving him $10,000 and a free table so as not to disrupt the event. Even then Pete Townsend had to whack Abbie with his guitar when Abbie tried to take the microphone during the Who's 3am performance.

The eco-generation left an environmental nightmare behind.

Altamont and the Isle of Wight festivals came with their own problems.

21 posted on 04/05/2004 8:20:32 PM PDT by weegee (No blood for ratings. CNN supressed reports of torture & murder in Iraq to keep their Baghdad bureau)
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To: weegee
true... you are right. The last one was a pure disaster and I think that's the last of Woodstock-wannabes.
22 posted on 04/05/2004 8:22:34 PM PDT by cyborg
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To: KneelBeforeZod
Nirvana didn't revive rock... it killed it.
23 posted on 04/05/2004 10:01:52 PM PDT by thoughtomator (Voting Bush because there is no reasonable alternative)
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To: Dan from Michigan
Didn't read your post before I posted, but we're definitely on the same page.
24 posted on 04/05/2004 10:03:45 PM PDT by thoughtomator (Voting Bush because there is no reasonable alternative)
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To: KneelBeforeZod
... For Courtney Love: [snip] But instead of fading into obscurity along with L7 and Bikini Kill, now we're forced to read about her antics every week in "Teen People."

Like Teen People would ever get it right anyway. If not Courtney it would be Britney or even Brabra Streisand moaning about President Bush.

...For Guitars: [snip] But then Nirvana made guitars popular again, opening the gates for bands like the White Stripes and Nickelback to exist now.

It may have been written in the spirit of satire but good satire has it's origins in truth. The White Stripes would still exist. They get their lead from Billy Childish, not Kurt Cobain. Just because American fools don't know who Billy is, he still is celebrated in England and elsewhere for having released 100 albums since 1978.

25 posted on 04/05/2004 10:10:27 PM PDT by weegee (No blood for ratings. CNN supressed reports of torture & murder in Iraq to keep their Baghdad bureau)
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To: cyborg
There are still large festivals around the world that occur without incident. They don't get the hype here. Also they seem to have gone more to older niche audiences (because face it, kids today are too lazy to make music themselves and won't seek out something other than what everyone else is already buying off the charts).

Touring festivals also diminish the need for some of the humongous ones.

Here's just a brief list of some of the more notable festivals these days:

Last year's Coachella Festival was stronger and included the first Iggy Pop & The Stooges reunion since the early 1970s.
http://www.coachella.com/lineup.html

All Tomorrow's Parties has a different "host" every year (last year's LA show was designed by David Bowie; Matt Groening also got to pick the line up one year). The Stooges played this one too.
http://www.atpfestival.com/index.php

The New Orleans Jazz Heritage festival contains a lot more than just that:
http://www.nojazzfest.com/

There's also the New Orleans' Voodoo Music Festival (which also hosted a Stooges reunion last year).
http://www.voodoomusicfest.com/

England continues to hold the Reading Festival
http://www.readingfestival.com/pages/index.asp

There are also some big multiband bills hosted in San Diego and I think Portland.

26 posted on 04/05/2004 10:44:44 PM PDT by weegee (No blood for ratings. CNN supressed reports of torture & murder in Iraq to keep their Baghdad bureau)
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To: KneelBeforeZod
You have to give Cobain credit for revitalizing Weird Al's career after a three-year absence!
27 posted on 04/05/2004 11:33:27 PM PDT by RightWingAtheist
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To: KneelBeforeZod
I was a Freshman in High School when Nevermind came out and I must say that to me it was a welcome relief. Up until that point most of people I knew listened to rap and that had suddenly changed. And there was finally an alternative to rap that wasn't the totally tacky hair bands I'd struggled to like in Junior High.

I don't know. Sometimes with music you've just got to be the right age in the right time and place to get it.
28 posted on 04/05/2004 11:56:34 PM PDT by MattAMiller
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To: KneelBeforeZod
May I add that one of things I love about FreeRepublic is that's the sort of place where you can find the most unlikely people writing short dissertations on the history of popular music inlcuding the impact of various rather obscure acts.
29 posted on 04/06/2004 12:00:31 AM PDT by MattAMiller
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To: cyborg
Yeah, i personally dislike depressive music (which is one more reason why i am surprised that i like Nirvana ....a lot of their stuff is brooding). 'Downer' music really can have an effect on a person. Nowadays all my music choices have to pass the 'happiness' test.

Love your way with words by the way.

30 posted on 04/06/2004 2:47:48 AM PDT by spetznaz (Nuclear missiles: The ultimate Phallic symbol.)
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To: spetznaz
LOL... well Wilfred D. Best advised better to use small words than big ones :-)
31 posted on 04/06/2004 5:02:31 AM PDT by cyborg
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To: weegee
Thanks for the links. My employer used to go to Reggae Sunsplash. Now she goes to the Essence Music Festival as well.
32 posted on 04/06/2004 5:03:53 AM PDT by cyborg
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To: qam1
Thanks for the ping. I definitely liked Nirvana, though less so now; probably because it's tough to get worked up with angst the more successful you become.

But, like a lot of people my age (mid thirties), I actually grew up drinking beer at bonfires listening to the real thing: seventies album rock. I'll take "Won't Get Fooled Again" over "Teen Spirit" as my anthem any day.

33 posted on 04/06/2004 5:13:28 AM PDT by Mr. Bird (Ain't the beer cold!)
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Comment #34 Removed by Moderator

Comment #35 Removed by Moderator

To: KneelBeforeZod; labowski; LibertyGrrrl; marktuoni; itsamelman; Sam's Army; RepoGirl; Redcoat LI; ...

I have decided to refute this tripe with a photo presentation, of sorts, to help articulate my points. Enjoy!

-----------

... For Courtney Love: If Nirvana never got famous, then she wouldn't have married Kurt Cobain, he wouldn't have helped her write all the songs on Hole's breakthrough album, "Live Through This," and no one would have cared that she was such a desperate attention freak with a bad dye job and implants. But instead of fading into obscurity along with L7 and Bikini Kill, now we're forced to read about her antics every week in "Teen People."

After seeing a rerun of Howard Stern's E! show last week while channel surfing, I can't disagree. This broad, and I use that term loosely here, is seriously out of her mind. The world would be better off without her. The only thing she ever got right was "Courtney Love Does The Math", her slam on record labels, their treatment of artists and fans, and the mp3 trading world.

... For Dave Grohl: He's the most boring rock star on the planet. Sure, he plays in every band from the Queens of the Stone Age to Probot, but imagine how wonderful the world would be without the dreary generic toss of the Foo Fighters.

Alright, with this I have to take offense. A skilled musician, looking back it was probably Grohl who enabled Nirvana to get as huge as they did. No doubt he had a large creative influence over the songwriting (for better or worse). In regards to playing with the Queens Of The Stone Age, I really only have one thing to say:

The Queens of the Stone Age kicks ass. With or without Dave Grohl. Period. (See QOTSA live at Reading Festival 2001).

It's almost like that guy from the Lemonheads getting totally famous and making millions upon millions of dollars for sounding just like Blind Melon. It's just plain unfair. Plus he looks like Cojo.

Indeed, Evan Dondo was kind of lame. I say this as I have a copy of "Come On Feel The Lemonheads" sitting on my desk. What can I say? "Rick James Style" kicks ass.

... For Mudhoney: Has there ever been a worse band in the history of humankind than Mudhoney? Yes, Sonic Youth. Either way, no one would have heard about either of them or bought their records -- only to sell them back for a fraction of the price at Amoeba -- if it weren't for Nirvana. Expecting a continuation of "Nevermind," people flocked to these grunge hangers-on, cluttering their CD collections with a bunch of under-produced, tuneless junk. Thanks a lot, Screaming Trees.

Oh boy, where to begin? Firstly, Mudhoney were pioneers. "My Brother The Cow" is still one of my favorites. Sonic Youth is also excellent, they were East Coast pioneers. Screaming Trees, another great band. Mark Lanagan enjoyed a 2 year stint in Queens of The Stone Age as well. (Am I sensing a theme here?) The author of this piece obviously hates everything that is cool. I'm surprised he didn't just come right out and start making fun of Husker Du and Bob Mould while they were at it! He already took pot-shots at the Pixies and the Replacements!

Not too much flannel there...

... For guitars: Before Nirvana arrived, everyone knew music after the year 2000 would totally be technological and rad -- just robots playing crazy drum 'n' bass with androids singing over it. People were totally sick of hearing lousy guitar rock by Eric Clapton and Tom Petty. But then Nirvana made guitars popular again, opening the gates for bands like the White Stripes and Nickelback to exist now. If it weren't for Bjork, we might as well all still be cavemen right now.

Rad? RAD? If some whiny rock critic ever described my band as "rad" I'd probably mail him a hate letter. Well, I'll give him Bjork. And also, both Nickleback and the White Stripes are jokes, sick twisted jokes played out on us by evil, evil people. But, if it's both guitars and robots the author craves, maybe we'll call in an old standby:


36 posted on 04/06/2004 7:46:45 AM PDT by bc2 ("Stay well - Stay safe - Stay armed - Yorktown" - harpseal)
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To: Dan from Michigan
>>>
Nirvana killed rock.
<<<

"Kurt Cobain -- the spokesman for a generation with nothing to say." -- P.J. O'Rourke
37 posted on 04/06/2004 8:01:31 AM PDT by Keltik
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To: bc2
Mondo Generator/Desert Sessions bump for your QOTSA reference.
38 posted on 04/06/2004 8:24:32 AM PDT by Sam's Army
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To: Sam's Army
Have you heard either of the Mondo records? I've heard a few of the tracks and I'm psyched to try and catch 'em this summer...

A big HELL YEAH for the Desert Sessions!

39 posted on 04/06/2004 9:06:30 AM PDT by bc2 ("Stay well - Stay safe - Stay armed - Yorktown" - harpseal)
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To: bc2
I've downloaded a few things from Mondo, but that's all right now. I have some Desert Sessions and IMO they (whoever's in the lineup at the moment) are the best thing going right now IMO.

'Cept maybe Pelican from Chicago.

40 posted on 04/06/2004 9:16:23 AM PDT by Sam's Army
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