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The Guild 4-26-2004 Right-wing laugh riot
Washington Times ^ | 11-6-2003 | Laura Vanderkam

Posted on 04/26/2004 5:56:14 AM PDT by BigWaveBetty

Edited on 07/12/2004 4:14:44 PM PDT by Jim Robinson. [history]

One night last summer, radio host Larry Elder beckoned his listeners to the Ha Ha Cafe in North Hollywood to film a documentary lampooning liberal film maker Michael Moore.

Intrigued, producer Eric Peterkofsky showed up for the night's comedy. He listened as comic Jeff Wayne headlined the event with right-wing jokes rarely heard in comedy shows.


(Excerpt) Read more at washtimes.com ...


TOPICS: The Guild
KEYWORDS: theguild
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The Republican attack machine wants you to think I'm not humorous, well I won't stand for that, it's time the truth is told and I will tell you exactly how many times I've been humorous. There have been exactly three times in my life I've been humorous. Except on our wedding night Teresa laughed out loud, but that was by accident she and she said she was sorry.

1 posted on 04/26/2004 5:56:15 AM PDT by BigWaveBetty
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To: Hillary's Lovely Legs; mountaineer; Timeout; ClancyJ; BlessedAmerican; daisyscarlett; Rheo; ...
Good Morning!!
2 posted on 04/26/2004 5:57:07 AM PDT by BigWaveBetty ("Ahnd ahftah muthna hahve olll crompushnin Johhhnn.." "Nithmish nahd caheforea jah Kreee!"~ TKennedy)
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To: BigWaveBetty
Dadgumit! Take the first she out of that and it should make sense...

accident she and she said she was sorry.

Sheesh!!

3 posted on 04/26/2004 6:00:55 AM PDT by BigWaveBetty ("Ahnd ahftah muthna hahve olll crompushnin Johhhnn.." "Nithmish nahd caheforea jah Kreee!"~ TKennedy)
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To: BigWaveBetty
Good Morning. Thanks for the new thread.
4 posted on 04/26/2004 6:01:02 AM PDT by Iowa Granny (Impersonating June Cleaver since 1967)
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To: BigWaveBetty
Outstanding.

Good Monday morning, everyone.
5 posted on 04/26/2004 6:03:31 AM PDT by lodwick
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To: Iowa Granny
bump
6 posted on 04/26/2004 6:05:12 AM PDT by GeronL (John F Kerry; Repeat to thyself often: The Mississippi is not the Mekong Delta)
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To: Iowa Granny; lodwick
"President Bush listed his income as $822,000. You know what John Kerry calls someone who earns $822,000? Not even worth dating." —Jay Leno
7 posted on 04/26/2004 6:11:19 AM PDT by BigWaveBetty ("Ahnd ahftah muthna hahve olll crompushnin Johhhnn.." "Nithmish nahd caheforea jah Kreee!"~ TKennedy)
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To: BigWaveBetty
Good morning! Enjoyed the article.
Kerry's humorous all the time, he just doesn't mean to be. :)
8 posted on 04/26/2004 6:18:22 AM PDT by Aquamarine
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To: Aquamarine
Awwwww, poor John, he can't help it. :-)


9 posted on 04/26/2004 6:23:57 AM PDT by BigWaveBetty ("Ahnd ahftah muthna hahve olll crompushnin Johhhnn.." "Nithmish nahd caheforea jah Kreee!"~ TKennedy)
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To: BigWaveBetty
That's funny. I hadn't seen that one before.

Quite a contrast, huh?


10 posted on 04/26/2004 6:31:01 AM PDT by Aquamarine
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To: mountaineer
I heard on the radio that Michael Moore said something really sickening about our troups and that he hoped that more would die.

They said that it was on Page Six, but for the life of me I can't find it. Since you are Page Six genius, have you read it or could you please find it and post it here?
11 posted on 04/26/2004 6:39:40 AM PDT by Hillary's Lovely Legs (I am trying to stop an outbreak here and you are driving the monkey to the airport!)
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To: BigWaveBetty
Mountaineer's off to Freep Kerry in West Virginia this morning. She told me earlier she's going to wear Mr. M's marathon medals around her neck! (He won't let her "toss" them...LOL!)

Effin's spin machine is in full throttle this morning. After being nailed by Good Morning America, they're trying to pretend the focus is merely whether he threw "ribbons" or "medals" back in 1971.

But, as Charlie Gibson pointed out, Effin allowed the myth of his throwing medals to hang out there for 13 years---1971 to 1984---years when being anti-war appealed to the donkey elites.

By '84 it was no longer in vogue to have been a war protester...and Kerry was running for the Senate. (Remember, this was Morning in America.) He changed his story, saying he would never have thrown away his cherished decorations.

I don't think the spin's gonna work.
12 posted on 04/26/2004 6:43:47 AM PDT by Timeout (Dems and MediaCrats: Stuck in a 9/10 world.)
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To: Hillary's Lovely Legs
Won't these two look sweet together in court?

..

13 posted on 04/26/2004 6:51:33 AM PDT by BigWaveBetty ("Ahnd ahftah muthna hahve olll crompushnin Johhhnn.." "Nithmish nahd caheforea jah Kreee!"~ TKennedy)
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To: Hillary's Lovely Legs
I think this might be what they were reffering to:

The Iraqis who have risen up against the occupation are not "insurgents" or "terrorists" or "The Enemy." They are the REVOLUTION, the Minutemen, and their numbers will grow -- and they will win. Get it, Mr. Bush? You closed down a friggin' weekly newspaper, you great giver of freedom and democracy! Then all hell broke loose. The paper only had 10,000 readers! Why are you smirking?

14 posted on 04/26/2004 6:59:34 AM PDT by BigWaveBetty ("Ahnd ahftah muthna hahve olll crompushnin Johhhnn.." "Nithmish nahd caheforea jah Kreee!"~ TKennedy)
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To: Hillary's Lovely Legs
I heard on the radio that Michael Moore said something really sickening about our troups and that he hoped that more would die.

Unfortunately, that doesn't surprise me in the least.

15 posted on 04/26/2004 7:17:05 AM PDT by SuziQ
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To: Timeout
April 26, 2004 -- PAYBACK can be painful - as Bob Woodward will learn when "The Big Secret" (Forge Books) arrives in stores in June.

The author, Pete Earley, was hired by Woodward at the Washington Post in 1980, but then was forced to resign in 1986 after the Watergate sleuth "tried to get me fired," he says.

Now Earley's first novel features an arrogant, scheming star reporter for the Washington "Tribune" who broke the Watergate case with the help of an inside source - not Deep Throat, but "the Wizard."

The fictional journalist, Andrew Middleton, plots to have his girlfriend killed when she gets too close to his big secret and has another reporter fired, just as Woodward allegedly tried to get Earley canned. "Middleton undermines reporters who are successful, especially those he thinks are threats. He's jealous," the novel says on page 198.

The character is also a fraud, as portrayed by Earley, who makes the case that Middleton/Woodward never had a Deep Throat - just leaks from the CIA - and invented the mystery man to hype sales of "All the President's Men," his book about Watergate co-written with Carl Bernstein.

Asked if "The Big Secret" was his revenge, Earley told PAGE SIX:

"Leaving the Post was a great career move for me. I've made more money and written several best-selling and, I hope, important books. So I'm not bitter. But I do deeply resent that Bob Woodward betrayed me and he did it in the cruelest way possible.



"He befriended me first. He flattered me and appealed to my ego. He promised me that our conversations would be off the record, and then he went directly to the people who were involved in our private conversations and told them what had been said. He drove a knife in my back.

"What has always struck me as odd is the ease with which he betrayed me . . . The guy actually put his arm on my shoulder and said we were going to become great friends - and then, within a few hours, he was trying to get me fired. When I confronted him, he called me naive."

Woodward went on to write several other best sellers. His latest, "Plan of Attack," tells of rancor in the White House as preparations were made for the liberation of Iraq.

"I'm going to send my novel to Colin Powell and Condoleezza Rice," Earley said. "I wonder if they will also feel naive."

A call to Woodward was not returned.

(PageSix)
16 posted on 04/26/2004 7:24:43 AM PDT by BigWaveBetty ("Ahnd ahftah muthna hahve olll crompushnin Johhhnn.." "Nithmish nahd caheforea jah Kreee!"~ TKennedy)
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To: Hillary's Lovely Legs
April 26, 2004 -- IN a new book about the last days of Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, Carly Simon says that Ed Schlossberg, husband of Caroline Kennedy, berated the singer to the point of tears at the former first lady's wake. Simon, who attended the wake with her husband, Jim Hart, and a masseuse friend of Jackie's named Biko, tells author Edward Klein about the ugly incident in "Farewell, Jackie" (Viking). "Biko brought a gift, a long candle in the shape of a calla lilly. And I brought the lyrics to my song 'Touched by the Sun,' which I had written on parchment and tied with a pretty silvery ribbon . . . Biko said we were supposed to leave our offerings - the candle and the parchment - on top of the casket." Moments later, she recalls, "Ed Schlossberg came over. He said, 'We're very angry with you, Carly. You have to take those things off the casket. It's only for the grandchildren.' " He didn't stop there. "He went on and on in this vein - how intrusive it was, what I had done. 'You committed a faux pas,' he said. I was crying as I left." On Carly's way out, Bunny Mellon stepped in, telling her, "Don't worry. I'll take care of it. I'll make sure Jackie gets your gifts."

(PageSix)
17 posted on 04/26/2004 7:34:44 AM PDT by BigWaveBetty ("Ahnd ahftah muthna hahve olll crompushnin Johhhnn.." "Nithmish nahd caheforea jah Kreee!"~ TKennedy)
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Sightings (PageSix)

ROCCO DiSpirito, Al Franken, Al Sharpton and Janeane Garafolo among the crowd of 1,500 at Moby's Teany Cafe for an anti-George Bush "bake sale" fund-raiser sponsored by Moveon.org .




April 26, 2004 -- BEN Stein knows how to butter up a beauty queen. Before an appearance on Fox News Channel the other day, the 59-year-old TV personality seemed to be flirting with newly crowned Miss USA Shandi Finnessey . "If you're ever in L.A., call me, and I'll take you to Mortons, where all the stars hang out," said Stein, who gave Finnessey his card and asked three times to take pictures with her in the green room. "I've met a lot of beauty queens and you're by far the most beautiful. How tall are you?" For the record, Shandi is 5-foot-11, while Stein is 5-foot-8.




April 26, 2004 -- "SEX and the City" may be over, but the actress best known as Samantha Jones still has sex on her schedule - specifically, a documentary about it. The other night at the Museum of TV & Radio's Documentary Festival, Kim Cattrall was in the audience for a screening of "Still Doing It: The Intimate Lives of Women Over 65." During a post-screening Q&A, the filmmakers introduced Cattrall and asked her to say a few words. "I am distressed to learn about vaginal atrophy," she commented with a smile. Cattrall, author with her now-ex-husband of "Satisfaction," a book on the female orgasm, then explained that she was researching a documentary about sex which will include men's stories as well. "Still Doing It" producer Diana Holtzberg said she was thrilled someone as well known as Cattrall was exploring the topic. Despite festival raves for "Still Doing It" - and sales to television entities in foreign countries - the documentary has yet to find an American outlet. Broadcast and cable execs in the U.S. have told the filmmakers that middle-aged and older women are not a demographic that interests them.

Well! Excuuuuuuse us!!




April 26, 2004 -- JOAN Rivers is no stranger to facelifts. In fact, many would say the funny lady never met a facelift she didn't like, which is why she's signed on to perform at the party to celebrate the "facelift," or redesign, of Mercedes- Benz's C-Class, at Fez May 4. It also helps that Rivers has a soft spot for the car company. "My husband drove one, my sister drives one, my daughter drives one," but not Joan. "I'm a New Yorker," she quipped, but "I'm hoping Mercedes-Benz will give me the deal I'm looking for," which we suspect includes a man to serve as her "driver."




April 26, 2004 -- THOUGH she protests the "air head" label many have slapped on her, Jessica Simpson often is her own worst enemy when it comes to disproving it. Take her recent appearance at "VH1 Divas." The sultry songbird wore five different outfits during the concert - three of which were made specially for her by Donna Karan, with the others from Elie Saab and J. Mendel. However, when "Access Hollywood" asked who designed her red-carpet gown, the ditsy diva replied, "Escada," instead of Karan.

18 posted on 04/26/2004 7:41:59 AM PDT by BigWaveBetty ("Ahnd ahftah muthna hahve olll crompushnin Johhhnn.." "Nithmish nahd caheforea jah Kreee!"~ TKennedy)
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To: Hillary's Lovely Legs
(Cindy Adams)

April 26, 2004 -- NEIL Diamond and Barbra Streisand heading a Kerry fund-raising concert in L.A. in early June. The New York version, with different headliners, is scheduled for Radio City Music Hall on June 10 . . . By the way, the candidate's wife is currently reading a book about John Adams and the missus, Abigail. Says Mrs. Kerry: "They had a real reciprocity going on. I'm trying to follow that." By the way No. 2: Teresa Heinz Kerry does eat ketchup.



Cindy just wanted us to know....

I'M always opening my cavernous mouth to say bad things about bad people. Now I want to say something good. I just flew United internationally. The plane was full. Passenger agent Doris Melendez and those metal detector security guys were the nicest, sweetest, most patient airline people I ever met. My e-ticket confused me. They helped. My computer was a problem. They helped. My economy seat was a hassle. Stewardesses went out of their way to help. I just wanted you to know . . .




And Liz Smith gets the scoop from, "you bet your ass!", Robert Evans:

Super-producer and self-made legend Robert Evans arrived with dramatic and amusing flourish. Holding his own crystal decanter of cosmopolitans in one hand and Haskell's new Star Cruncher in the other. "This is the first piece of sexy exercise equipment. It's a cross between S&M and disco. I can get fit while still drinking!" he said. (And here you thought good old-fashioned Hollywood excess was dead.) But it's not all abs and cosmos for Bob. He still plans to make a movie about Cuban rebel Ché Guevara with Val Kilmer in the lead.
http://www.nypost.com/gossip/liz.htm

19 posted on 04/26/2004 7:50:06 AM PDT by BigWaveBetty ("Ahnd ahftah muthna hahve olll crompushnin Johhhnn.." "Nithmish nahd caheforea jah Kreee!"~ TKennedy)
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To: lodwick

LAKE TEXOMA, Texas -- Cody Mullennix, left, and Jason Holbrook hold a 121- pound catfish caught by Mullennix on Lake Texoma. (01/18/04 AP photo)

Everything IS bigger in Texas.

20 posted on 04/26/2004 7:58:12 AM PDT by BigWaveBetty ("Ahnd ahftah muthna hahve olll crompushnin Johhhnn.." "Nithmish nahd caheforea jah Kreee!"~ TKennedy)
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To: mountaineer
Just another day of golf in Phalaborwa, South Africa.


21 posted on 04/26/2004 8:01:39 AM PDT by BigWaveBetty ("Ahnd ahftah muthna hahve olll crompushnin Johhhnn.." "Nithmish nahd caheforea jah Kreee!"~ TKennedy)
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To: All
Saddam's WMD Have Been Found
by Kenneth R. Timmerman
22 posted on 04/26/2004 8:06:20 AM PDT by BigWaveBetty ("Ahnd ahftah muthna hahve olll crompushnin Johhhnn.." "Nithmish nahd caheforea jah Kreee!"~ TKennedy)
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To: BigWaveBetty
Rocco DiSpirito needs to focus his attention elsewhere, it appears he's not managed his own affairs so well: Second helping of Rocco
23 posted on 04/26/2004 8:17:04 AM PDT by pubmom
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To: pubmom
Oh no, Mama might lose her house?! I'm not surprized that Rocco has management problems. I watched the first series and I noticed he was much too busy trying to hire 'friends' and treated them that way, so when it became crunch time he was unable to get them into line. Bad move.

I found this part of the story you linked 'humorous':

To start, he wants a new girlfriend. But the way to his heart is not through his stomach.

"I am looking for someone smart and smart and smart and then funny and then beautiful and then smart again," he says. "It all starts up in the head."

Take Halle Berry, for example.

"When I met Halle, I was speechless for one of the first times in my life," DiSpirito says. "The fact that I fed her didn't mean a damn thing to me at that point.

"She is just on fire. Oh my God! She has this inner light that's amazing."

Uh yeah, that Halle Berry is a real Einstein.

24 posted on 04/26/2004 8:26:55 AM PDT by BigWaveBetty ("Ahnd ahftah muthna hahve olll crompushnin Johhhnn.." "Nithmish nahd caheforea jah Kreee!"~ TKennedy)
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To: BigWaveBetty; mountaineer
I've had friends in the restaurant biz tell me their staff is like a family- a dysfunctional family. Rocco was chummy during the pre-opening period, then became disconnected when the place opened. He was too busy kissing customers to pay attention to the fact that things were going to heck in a handbasket. I remember thinking, "Get your you-know-what in the kitchen and supervise!"

Yes, I'm sure Rocco was attracted to Halle's intellect. (snort!)

Protesting waffle-boy with you in spirit today, mountaineer.

25 posted on 04/26/2004 8:46:18 AM PDT by pubmom
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To: BigWaveBetty
Whoa! Nellie...man, that is one huge catfish.

Some of my best memories are summers with my Grandparents and driving a few miles north to fish at Lake Texoma.

26 posted on 04/26/2004 8:51:31 AM PDT by lodwick
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To: BigWaveBetty
ABC NEWS GOOD MORNING AMERICA'S CHARLIE GIBSON: Now joining us from West Virginia is himself senator John Kerry. He's in the town of Glen Easton, West Virginia, today. Good to have you with us.

SEN. JOHN KERRY: i'm glad to be with you. i really am.

GIBSON: 1984, senator, to the present. you have said a number of times, as brian pointed out as recently as friday with the ""los angeles times,"" have you said a number of times that you did not throw away the vietnam medals themselves. but now this interview from 1971 shows up the in which you say that was the medals themselves that were thrown away.

KERRY: no, i don't.

GIBSON: can you explain?

KERRY: absolutely. that's absolutely incorrect. charlie, i stood up in front of the nation. there were dozens of cameras there, television cameras, there were -- i don't know. 20, 30 still photographers. thousands of people and i stood up in front of the country, reached into my shirt, visibly for the nation to see, and took the ribbons off my chest, said a few words and threw them over the fence. the file footage, the reporter there from the ""boston globe,"" everybody got it correctly. and i never asserted otherwise. what i said was and back then, you know, ribbons, medals were absolutely interchangeable . senator simmington asking me questions in the committee hearing, look ad at the ribbons and said what are those medals? the u.s. navy pam let calls the medals, we referred to them it is a symbols, representing medals, ribbons, countless veterans through the ribbon -- threw the ribbons back. everybody did. veterans threw back dog tags. they threw back photographs, they th rew back their 14's. there are photographs of a pile of all of those things collected on the steps of the capitol. so the fact is that i have -- i have been accurate precisely about what took place. and i am the one who later made clear exactly what happened. i mean, this is a controversy that the republicans are pushing , the republicans have spent $60 million in the last few weeks trying to attack me. and this comes from a president and a republican party that can't even answer whether or not he showed up for duty in the national guard. i'm not going to stand for it.

GIBSON: senator, i was there 33 years ago and i saw you throw medals over the fence and we didn't find out until later -

KERRY: no, you didn't see me throw th. charlie, charlie, you are wrong. that's not what happened. i threw my ribbons across. all you have to do -

GIBSON: someone else's medals, correct in?

KERRY: after -- excuse me. excuse me, charlie. after the ceremony was over, i had a bronze star and a purple heart given to me, one purple heart by a veteran in the v.a. in new york and the bronze star by an older veteran of world war ii in massachusetts. i threw them over because they asked me to. i never --

GIBSON: let me come back to the thing just said which is the military --

KERRY: this is a phony -- charlie, this is a phony controversy.

GIBSON: the military makes no distinction between ribbons and medals but you are the one who made the distinction. in 1984 --

KERRY: no . we made no distinction back then, charlie. we made no distinction.

GIBSON: senator, i don't want -- i just want to ask the question. in 1984 when you were running for the senate, that was the first time that you called someone in from labor because they were upset that you had thrown ribbons away.

KERRY: no.

GIBSON: you called them and you made the distinction and said i didn't throw my medals away. i just threw the ribbons away. you made the distinction.

KERRY: i was asked specifically in greater detail about what took place. i answered the question truthfully. which is consistent with what happened in 1971. i mean, charlie, go back and get the file footage. there are were millions of people watching. i took my ribbons off my chest just as other veterans did. this is a phony controversy. this is being pushed yesterday by karen hughes of the white house on fox. it shows up at a several different stations at the same time. the republicans are running $10 million this week to attack my credentials on defense. this comes from a president who can't even show or prove that he showed up for duty in the national guard.

GIBSON: senator --

KERRY: i'm not going to stand for it. i'm in the going to stand for it.

GIBSON: i-understand you are feeling politics is behind this. but i ask you, is it not --

KERRY: i know politics is behind this.

GIBSON: when trying to appeal to the anti-war people in 1971, you said as in that interview, it was the medals and then when the people who supported the war were giving you political problems, you then said i didn't throw the medals away 13 years later.

KERRY: that's the most -- with all due respect, that's the most ridiculous thing i have ever heard. because i stood up in front of the country, in front of cameras, a reporter of the ""boston globe"" got it correct . he wrote about the medals but knew they were my ribbons. everybody understood what we were doing. i even said in that interview we threw away the symbols of what our country gave us for what we had gone through. and if i was -- you know, back then, trying to appeal to somebody, i stood up against richard nixon, stood up against the withar, took a position, and it wasn't popular, and it was polarizing. i didn't have to do it. if i was trying to hide something, i would have never stood there in floment of everybody and thrown them over the fence. i threw my ribbons over. i threw the medals of two veterans who asked me to throw them over, after the ceremony, completely separate, and i'm the one -- if hi something to hide, i'm the one who made it known exactly what happened. to me, it is one in the same. and i'm proud of it.

GIBSON: let me ask you, too, about two other things that you have said. subsequent to that. 1985, you said to ""the washington post,"" it is such a personal thing i did no want to throw my medals away. then 1996, you said to the ""boston globe,"" i didn't bring my own medals to throw because i didn't have time to go home and get them. which one was it?

KERRY: i expressed there was great sense of wrench being the whole thing. many of us -- we had a long argument the night before, charlie. it is a matter of record. as to how we were going to do it. and the vote was taken. i was not in favor of throwing them over the fence. i thought we ought to lay them on a table and put them in front of people in a way that, you know, wouldn't be as challenging to many americans. other veterans felt otherwise. they took a vote. the vote was made, they voted to throw. i threw my ribbons. i didn't have my medals. it is very simple . what the republicans are trying to do is make this into an issue because they have no record to run on and they can't go out and talk about jobs or health care or environment. they are going to attack 35 years ago. last week in an unprecedented attack, they sent congressmen to the floor of the senate of the house to attack me on the anniversary of my speech. george bush has yet to explain to america whether or no t to tell the truth about whether he showed up for duty. i'm not going to get attack order something i did that's a matter of record that the press saw, that i did in front of the entire nation and everyone then understood there was no distinction. we threw away the symbols of the war. i'm proud i stood up and fought stood up and fought against it. proud i took on richard nixon. and i think to this day, there's no distinction between the two.

GIBSON: all right. senator, i appreciate your being with us this morning. i'm glad to have you here. thank you. all the best. diane?
27 posted on 04/26/2004 10:03:34 AM PDT by Hillary's Lovely Legs (I am trying to stop an outbreak here and you are driving the monkey to the airport!)
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To: Hillary's Lovely Legs
...say, "What?"

Is there an interpreter in the house?
28 posted on 04/26/2004 10:22:07 AM PDT by lodwick
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To: lodwick
It's bad enough to read it, but to see it is really creepy.
29 posted on 04/26/2004 10:25:12 AM PDT by Hillary's Lovely Legs (I am trying to stop an outbreak here and you are driving the monkey to the airport!)
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To: Hillary's Lovely Legs
From the Corner at National Review Online:

MEDALS [John Hood]
I was just watching John Kerry's self-immolation on ABC's "Good Morning America." His equivocations about his Vietnam medals back in 1971 have finally caught up with him. ABC News had him dead to rights -- talking on a D.C. television show about the time about throwing away his medals, then denying it during later interviews, then mixing up the two in the 1980s, then in 1996 saying he would have thrown his medals away if he'd had time to go home to get them. Charlie Gibson clearly grew exasperated as the interview, or perhaps filibuster, wore on. I'm feeling guilty about the fact that I pitied Kerry by the end of it. It was painful to watch.

30 posted on 04/26/2004 10:30:53 AM PDT by Utah Girl
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To: Utah Girl; everyone
The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue. [Anonymous]

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. [Ann Landers]

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. [Will Rogers]

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. [Ben Williams]

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself. [Josh Billings]

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. [Andy Rooney]

We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made. [M. Acklam]

Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and all ways have to mix love and hate. [Sigmund Freud]

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. [Rita Rudner]

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. [Robert Benchley]

Dogs need to sniff the ground; it's how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper, containing all kinds of late-breaking dog news items, which, if they are especially urgent, are often continued in the next yard. [Dave Barry]

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like, never washed a dog. [Franklin P. Jones]

If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise. [Unknown]

My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in dog money. [Joe Weinstein]

Ever consider what our dogs must think of us.? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul - pork, chicken, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth! [Anne Tyle]

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. [Robert A. Heinlein]

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man. [Mark Twain]

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'Wow, you're right.! I never would've thought of that!' [Dave Barry]

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.[Roger Caras]

If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them. [Phil Pastoret]

My goal in life is to be as good of a person as my dog already thinks I am. [Unknown]

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31 posted on 04/26/2004 10:35:13 AM PDT by lodwick
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To: Hillary's Lovely Legs
You little sweetie, thanks so much. Is there a thread in news/activism that has a transcript? If not put it up, everyone should know what old worthless has to say. heh heh heh!

When I heard this story last night my first thought was of the soliders who have given their lives in Iraq and Afghanistan. Thank goodness we're not fighting WWII today with all the whiners wringing their hands over the troop deaths as a political tool to bash GWB.

Veterans gather to remember little-known World War II disaster that killed 749 U.S. servicemen

STOKENHAM, England (AP) -- Sixty years ago, 749 U.S. soldiers and sailors were killed when their D-Day landing practice was attacked by German torpedo boats off the south coast of England.

It was one of the least-known Allied disasters of World War II.

On Sunday, at St. Michael's and All Angels church in the coastal village of Stokenham, American and British veterans attended a memorial service for the men of Exercise Tiger, who died in the early morning darkness of April 28, 1944.

The eight-day exercise was the U.S. 4th Infantry Division's practice for the D-Day invasions, using the beach at Slapton, near Stokenham, because of its similarity to the Normandy landing sites.

The exercise involved 3,000 ships and 30,000 men. Only one British corvette provided escort for the slow-moving convoy of U.S. Navy ships to Slapton Sands.

Nine fast-moving German torpedo boats happened upon the convoy, sank two ships and badly damaged a third.

The attack killed nearly four times as many men as the division later lost in the D-Day landing, June 6, 1944.

The survivors were warned to keep it secret, and the casualties were not announced until nearly two months after the Normandy invasion. Full details were not known until 1974, when the records were declassified.

The convoy was lightly guarded and, because of a typographical error, the American ships were on the wrong radio frequency and unable to receive warnings.

Because the soldiers were top-heavy in full battle dress, many bodies were found floating feet up.

After Sunday's memorial service, the veterans and local residents attended a wreath-laying ceremony at a U.S. Sherman tank that had been lost at sea during the operation. It was recovered in 1984 to become a beachside memorial. God Bless each one and the families who gave them up. Thank you to all the brave souls who protect us.

32 posted on 04/26/2004 11:03:11 AM PDT by BigWaveBetty ("Ahnd ahftah muthna hahve olll crompushnin Johhhnn.." "Nithmish nahd caheforea jah Kreee!"~ TKennedy)
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To: pubmom
We have a friend whose wife's family has a Tai restaurant (yes, they're all Tai). We've heard tales of their family getting into arguments and end up chasing each other around the restaurant with huge knives. So recently when we went to their house for dinner and she served us leaves from the backyard that you were then supposed to fill with goodies like shrimp, coconut, etc., then wrap the leaf around the fillings and "just pop it in your mouth!", I ate it with a smile. Holy cow it was awful, thank goodness I'm a great actress. :-) Mr. B ate six or more, he loved them! ick!!

I figured Rocco would have hired someone to supervise so he could mingle with the beautiful people. That would be the smart thing to do, no? He couldn't bring one of his supervisors from his other restaurant?

33 posted on 04/26/2004 11:16:59 AM PDT by BigWaveBetty ("Ahnd ahftah muthna hahve olll crompushnin Johhhnn.." "Nithmish nahd caheforea jah Kreee!"~ TKennedy)
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To: Utah Girl
I'm feeling guilty about the fact that I pitied Kerry by the end of it. It was painful to watch.

Don't feel bad, no matter what the dims say we as conservatives aren't devoid of feelings, even for our enemies. But I sympathize completely, I do the same thing every time Kerry gets on stage and does his stump speech.

34 posted on 04/26/2004 11:24:23 AM PDT by BigWaveBetty (Any time you're above room temperature you're ahead of the game.)
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To: Hillary's Lovely Legs
It's NewsMax so take with a grain of salt:

Kerry a Cheapskate, Senate Waiter Says!

35 posted on 04/26/2004 11:28:04 AM PDT by BigWaveBetty (Any time you're above room temperature you're ahead of the game.)
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To: Hillary's Lovely Legs; BigWaveBetty; Timeout; All
The story about Michael Moore's outrageous and disgusting comment about how he hoped U.S. troops would die is posted as a thread here, A MOORE REVOLTING VIEW OF WAR.

I've just returned from freeping Kerry. As soon as I gather my thoughts, clean out email and catch my breath, I'll give a full report. It went great.

36 posted on 04/26/2004 11:51:04 AM PDT by mountaineer
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To: mountaineer; everyone
THIS JOKE HAS GOT TO BE NOMINATED FOR JOKE OF THE YEAR!

G. W. Bush and Bill Clinton somehow ended up at the same barbershop.

As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were even afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics.

As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Clinton in his chair reached for the aftershave.

Clinton was quick to stop him saying, "No thanks, my wife Hillary will smell that and think I've been in a whorehouse,"

The second barber turned to Bush and said, "How about you?"

Bush replied, "Go ahead, my wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like."

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37 posted on 04/26/2004 12:05:47 PM PDT by lodwick
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To: All
Here's my freeping report.
38 posted on 04/26/2004 12:20:53 PM PDT by mountaineer
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To: mountaineer
Nice work and great report. Thank you.
39 posted on 04/26/2004 12:26:38 PM PDT by lodwick
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To: Hillary's Lovely Legs
i expressed there was great sense of wrench being the whole thing.

I'm having a great sense of wrench right now.

40 posted on 04/26/2004 12:28:03 PM PDT by mountaineer
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To: pubmom; BigWaveBetty
Having done a little cooking in restaurants, I watch "The Restaurant" with horror. Not amused horror, just plain disgusted horror. Rocco is an embarrassment to serious chefs everywhere.
41 posted on 04/26/2004 12:46:10 PM PDT by mountaineer
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To: lodwick
Good One! Copied, Pasted and sent to my 'list'.
42 posted on 04/26/2004 12:48:24 PM PDT by Iowa Granny (Impersonating June Cleaver since 1967)
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To: mountaineer
Missed you this a.m. but you were off doing important work and you are excused, lol...

My, my he does look a little anxious here...bet he was one scared dude in that coal mine, hee hee...

Democratic presidential candidate Sen. John Kerry, D-Mass., left, speaks with Cecil Roberts, president of the United Mine Workers of America, right, while touring the McElroy Mine, in Glen Easton, W. Va., Monday, April 26, 2004. The coal mine extends for miles underground and is over a thousand feet deep. (AP Photo/Steven Senne)

43 posted on 04/26/2004 12:49:00 PM PDT by daisyscarlett
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To: daisyscarlett
The West Virginia side of the Ohio River has a great deal of respect for Ohio's Republican congressman, Bob Ney. He has stood by the steelworkers during the dark Clinton years. He may be the one Republican to whom they will listen. He was at the Kerry thing today. Our little group cheered him mightily, and I was glad to see him interviewed by some of the local newsies. He has issued a statement about why Kerry is bad for W.Va. steel and coal, and I hope that many union guys see the light and go for Bush, just as they did in 2000, rather than blindly obeying their fatcat union bosses.
44 posted on 04/26/2004 1:13:22 PM PDT by mountaineer
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To: daisyscarlett
Strangely, he has that "Michael Dukakis in a tank" look going on...
45 posted on 04/26/2004 2:31:47 PM PDT by lodwick
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To: mountaineer
Great Freep report! Wouldn't we have fun if only the entire Guild could come together for one big KerryFreep?!

Look at daisyscarlet's picture of Kerry-in-the-coal-miner-hat. I saw it on TV. They've wrapped some little red/white/blue bunting around the lamp! It looked really dorky on TV. Almost as dorky as this:

Note the metrosexual color coordination with bike/shirt/helmet!

46 posted on 04/26/2004 2:42:16 PM PDT by Timeout (Dems and MediaCrats: Stuck in a 9/10 world.)
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To: lodwick

Actual cover of Dick Morris new book -- out next week.

47 posted on 04/26/2004 2:51:56 PM PDT by They'reGone2000 (And we hope they're not coming back!)
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To: mountaineer
I didn't read that far down Moore's screed and since I used 'soldiers' and 'die' that paragraph didn't get the highlights. There are no words to describe the vile that is that empty flesh bag.

Looking forward to your report, I hope it's a long story. I haven't read anything of yours lately and enjoy your writing so leave out no detail.

Re: Rocco, he didn't do much cooking from what I saw, since it was a 'reality tv' show it didn't seem strange and there's only been one restaurant job in my life, ok, it was a pizza place, so what do I know?

However, it was my idea to take the garlic bread, schmear a little tomato sauce, cheese, well you know the rest. I think that might have been before Stoffer's French Bread pizza. They put it on the menu, it was a hit. Great with a house salad for lunch. And....... that's about it for my restaurant experience. Did I forget to mention I was the dishwasher? :-)

48 posted on 04/26/2004 3:23:31 PM PDT by BigWaveBetty (Any time you're above room temperature you're ahead of the game.)
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To: They'reGone2000
That cover is so great, might have to rethink Morris, don't trust him very much.

I must get to the bookstore next Monday and read chapter six, Dick claims he makes the case Ken Starr should have made instead of Lewinsky that would have gotten clinton impeached with a slam dunk.

Hmmmmmm, campaign finance maybe?

49 posted on 04/26/2004 3:28:22 PM PDT by BigWaveBetty (Any time you're above room temperature you're ahead of the game.)
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To: mountaineer
Duh, guess I'll read the whole thread before I post next time!
50 posted on 04/26/2004 3:30:29 PM PDT by BigWaveBetty (Any time you're above room temperature you're ahead of the game.)
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