Posted on 06/19/2004 6:28:19 PM PDT by Doctor Raoul
Bowling For Concubines
The Face That Launched A Thousand Shits
"The Book of Spurtues"
"All The President's (Se)men"
I can't take credit...Rush had a similar contest once and this was submitted by someone.
Bent.
Don't ask, Don't tell
Fat Girls Need Lovin' Too
or how I never held a real job or owned
a house and had a limited net worth until I got elected Prez-i-dent, now I'm worth Billions and my ugly
wife is gone all the time. I LOVE THIS COUNTRY!
by William Jefferson Clinton.
-PJ
There are so many good titles already submitted, I thought I would go in another direction.
A WHOLE NEW PACK OF LIES
Uncle Bill's Cabin
The Greatest Story Ever Told; The White House Years
Seven Lies For Seven Lovers
The Yellow Pages -
Real substitute titles for Bill Clinton's homage to himself as gathered by Doctor Raoul and others and summarized by KC Burke for copying and posting to your e-mail friends.
Of course, with the interest in Michael Moore, the obvious one is "Bowling for Concubines."
But there are others as well. "Mein Kampf" comes to mind as does "Thongs for the Mammaries" with the chapter on Monica entitled Once Upon a Dress.
There are some that are too close to titles still under copyright, which means that, unlike Michael Moore's ignoring Ray Bradbury's work, Clinon's publisher will obviously stay clear of "Lord of the Fly" and "Oral History".
Perhaps two can be combined such as "Curious Bill Goes to Washington".
Since the Captain threw away everything to purjure himself after chasing a whale, we could have "Moby Dick". As long as we are using classic we could go with "Dork Victory".
Since even his "first lady" (hold that perisolic reflex) called him a "hard dog to keep on the porch" we could use "A Dogs Life."
He placated and appeased threats so we can't use "War and Piece".
His earlier paramores suggest "On Golden Blond" and "Best Little Whorehouse on Pennsylvania Ave."
Due to the length, Marcel Proust had been mentioned so how about: "Remembrance of Thongs Passed" comes to mind.
"I Was a Teenage President" is really on target, as is "Citzen Came" or "Citizen Stain".
With apologies to Willie Nelson, we have "To All the Girls I've Loved Before" and then we also can't forget "True Girth" and "The Outlaw Billy's Whales".
With apologies for title infringment to the Gong Show and Radar Love we could use "The Thong Show" or "Cigar Love".
"Take My Wife, Please" would be too, too Dangerfield. Alan Ladd would worry about his famous cowboy movie but "Stain" or "Stane" could be used....can't you hear Monica saying that like the little boy did, as she holds up the dress?
If we want to crudely parrallel the Kennedy years we could use "Cumalot".
As long as his crude behavior is ruling selection, we could use "Resevoir-tip Dogs", "All The President's Quim" (better yet "All the President's (se)Men" or "The Sperminator".
"Dude, Where's My Legacy" and "Walking Small" are subject to being to close to titles already used.
As captaincy is an oft used metaphor, how about "Fellatio Hornblower"?
He, himself has already promoted "Because I Could" and Monica's nickname for him is useful as well: "The Big Creep".
Former movie titles modified for his character and actions keep suggesting items like "Happy Spillmore", "All the Kings Whores" and "Intern-al Affairs".
Do to its length, it could be divided up a'la Tolkein:
The Lord of the Flings:
Part One: The Fellowship of the crime ring
Part Two: The Two Liars
Part Three: The Return of the King's Silverware.
Those worries on copyrights still hold back "The Peter Principle", "Gropes of Wrath", "Finding Reno", "Clinnocio", The Adventures of Robbin' Wood", "Full Mental Racket", and "The Wizzard of Oozze.
Let's close with: "Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Thong" and due to his stressing his modest roots: "Bill Clinton - A Fellatio Alger Story"
Sorry, [kicking dirt with toes..]
"My Lies"
They got me here,
Kept me here,
Why change?
"Drag $100,000 in Cattle Futures Through The Arkansas Governor's Mansion and See What You Get"
I must pass my prize to post 75!
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