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Warning: Very, Very Bad Joke
Lake Victoria | Today | Brainhose

Posted on 08/21/2004 10:07:12 AM PDT by Brainhose

I know this is a really, really bad joke: Q: Have you heard the latest Olympic results? A: The French won all 3 medals in the 100 meter retreat! Thank you very much. I'll be here all week and please try the veal.


TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: antifrenchhumor; france; hecklebait; olympics

1 posted on 08/21/2004 10:07:12 AM PDT by Brainhose
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To: Brainhose

worth it!


2 posted on 08/21/2004 10:07:50 AM PDT by thoughtomator (antidisestablishment libertarian)
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To: Brainhose

What a hoot, I will try this one tonight.


3 posted on 08/21/2004 10:08:16 AM PDT by tioga (Flush the johns in '04!)
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To: Brainhose

MMmmmmmmm...........veal.


4 posted on 08/21/2004 10:08:30 AM PDT by EggsAckley (........."YO" is "OY" spelled backwards.........)
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To: Brainhose

ROFLMAO!!!!!


5 posted on 08/21/2004 10:09:37 AM PDT by tob2 (Old fossil and proud of it.)
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To: Brainhose

I also heard that Bill Clinton picked up a gold for the breast stroke.


6 posted on 08/21/2004 10:10:45 AM PDT by Piquaboy
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To: Brainhose

That's a little misleading. They were the only team participating in the event.


7 posted on 08/21/2004 10:12:53 AM PDT by Azzurri
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To: Brainhose
The DNC is in talks with Playtex about a new athletic-bra commercial:

Two boobs.
Running.
No bounce.

8 posted on 08/21/2004 10:12:55 AM PDT by Izzy Dunne (Hello, I'm a TAGLINE virus. Please help me spread by copying me into YOUR tag line.)
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To: Brainhose
I'll be here all week and please try the veal.

.....And be sure to tip your waiters and waitresses - they're working hard tonight......

9 posted on 08/21/2004 10:15:37 AM PDT by peteram
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To: Brainhose

This has the potential of being a long and very funny weekend post. Thanks.


10 posted on 08/21/2004 10:15:46 AM PDT by Socratic (Yes, there is method in the madness.)
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To: Brainhose

Q. Why did they ban fireworks at the Tour de France?
A. 'Cause evertime they went off, the French riders and fans would put both hands in the air and surrender.


11 posted on 08/21/2004 10:17:47 AM PDT by Drango (Free speech only for the veterans who agree with Kerry. All others must be silenced.)
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To: Brainhose
Tough crowd...


12 posted on 08/21/2004 10:18:05 AM PDT by yankeedame ("Born with the gift of laughter & a sense that the world was mad.")
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To: thoughtomator
Thanks. That is an original joke. I hope it spreads, I hope that somtime I get it forwarded to me in an email. Not to mention that I hate the French. Even my French step-dad hates the French.
13 posted on 08/21/2004 10:20:28 AM PDT by Brainhose (THINK OF THE KITTENS!)
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To: Brainhose

Joke: In the Olympic poker event the French champion was disqualified for trading banned cards under the table for chips. Countries with which the French champion is alleged to have helped cheat include Iran, Syria, and Jordan. In a bold move to distract the international community, the French Olympic committee has lodged a complaint with the United Poker League alleging that the United States "unilaterally" bluffed them with the cooperation of Britain, Italy, and Australia. Spain was originally included in the charge, but was removed from the list when Spain's Olympic Committee was replaced at the last minute.

A well known comic has questioned the idea that anyone can unilaterally do anything with the cooperation of others... But that comic was greeted with silent champagne drinkers.

I love veal, don't eat it anymore though.


14 posted on 08/21/2004 10:25:47 AM PDT by coconutt2000
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To: coconutt2000

Lance Armstrong stripped of his 6th title!!!!!

Tour officials have announced that Lance Armstrong may be stripped of his 6th title due to a random check for banned substances. The 3 substances found in Armstrong's hotel that are banned by the French are:

Toothpaste
Deodorant
Soap............


15 posted on 08/21/2004 10:35:58 AM PDT by gattaca (Great things can be accomplished if you don't care who gets the credit. Ronald Reagan)
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To: Brainhose

I noticed in the parade of nations which opened the Olympics, the French team marched behind the white flag.


16 posted on 08/21/2004 10:55:52 AM PDT by My2Cents (http://www.conservativesforbush.com)
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To: Brainhose

So this dyslexic walks into a bra . . .


17 posted on 08/21/2004 11:00:33 AM PDT by Maceman (Too nuanced for a bumper sticker)
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To: Brainhose

What is the "Olympics"?


18 posted on 08/21/2004 11:06:07 AM PDT by Dallas59
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To: Brainhose

Three expectant fathers, an American, a Jamaican, and a Frenchman, were in the hospital waiting room. A doctor comes in and announces that he has some good news and some bad news, "The good news is that you each are the father of a healthy baby boy. The bad news is that we've mixed them up." The three new fathers walk into the nursery. The American guy goes right to the Jamaican baby, picks him up and starts rocking him. "What are you doing?" the Jamaican guy asks, "That is obviously my son." "I know," said the American guy, "but I didn't want to accidentally get the French kid."


19 posted on 08/21/2004 11:31:29 AM PDT by xJones
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To: xJones

Hee-Hee-Hee-Hee-Hee-Hee-Hee-Hee-Hee-Hee!
Everyone hates the French.


20 posted on 08/21/2004 12:00:47 PM PDT by Brainhose (THINK OF THE KITTENS!)
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To: Maceman

Dyslexics of the world untie!


21 posted on 08/21/2004 12:08:57 PM PDT by Ditter
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To: Dallas59
What are the Olympics?
I'm not exactly sure, but I believe it's this thingy where a whole bunch of over paid crybabies vie for commercial endorsements. Unlike the the old days when Palestinian terrorists took over Israeli housing complexes and tortured Jews to death. That is what the Olympics are.

End of screed.
22 posted on 08/21/2004 12:59:40 PM PDT by Brainhose (THINK OF THE KITTENS!)
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To: xJones

Bwahahahahahahahah


23 posted on 08/21/2004 3:42:09 PM PDT by SouthernFreebird
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To: Ditter

Badde spelers of the wrold unit!


24 posted on 08/21/2004 9:01:58 PM PDT by gracie1 (Where are we going and why are we in this handbasket?)
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To: gracie1

And set your beebers on stune. Seriesly.


25 posted on 08/21/2004 9:58:06 PM PDT by Choose Ye This Day (Kerry: a strange man with nothing to say about anything that has happened since the early 1970s.)
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To: Brainhose
Let's have some more. After all, as the Germans used to know, you can never bash the French too much.

Why do the french hate history class? They keep repeating it.

French Knock Knock Joke:
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
I give up.

The French Army Theme Song: "Be Our Guest!! Be Our Guest!!!"

You are the President of the United States of America, when it is announced that a large asteroid, capable of completely destroying France is headed straight for it. It is calculated that it will strike France at 2:30 in the morning in two days. The UN and the French president plead with you to deploy planes and ships away from The War on Terror and the situation in Iraq and Afghanistan to help defend France. You are the president of the greatest and most powerful nation on earth. What do you do?
A: You stay up late and watch it live on television.
B: You tape it and watch it in the morning.

Answer: B

26 posted on 08/21/2004 10:09:06 PM PDT by xJones
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To: Brainhose

That's bad. You should be shot with a french military rifle. the french military surplus rifles are the best because they've never been fired in anger and have only been dropped once.


27 posted on 08/21/2004 10:14:00 PM PDT by bad company ((<a href="http://www.michaelmoore.com" target="_blank">Hatriotism))
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To: bad company
You're a vet, I thought you'd appreciate this:


28 posted on 08/21/2004 10:29:32 PM PDT by xJones
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To: xJones

He's got my le'vote


29 posted on 08/21/2004 10:45:37 PM PDT by bad company ((<a href="http://www.michaelmoore.com" target="_blank">Hatriotism))
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To: Izzy Dunne

Holy sh*t! That is funny.


30 posted on 08/25/2004 9:27:11 PM PDT by Brainhose (THINK OF THE KITTENS!)
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To: Brainhose
I know this is a really, really bad joke:

why zee long face monsewer skerreeee??

31 posted on 08/25/2004 9:32:13 PM PDT by JoeSixPack1 (Kerry couldn't have gone to Sears in Cambodia Christmas day! They were closed!)
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