Posted on 10/25/2004 6:28:33 AM PDT by CholeraJoe
After an ill-fated, much delayed and re-routed trip back from DC via Houston (Thanks again, BamaDi), I finally dragged my weary FReeper butt aboard a small commuter jet headed from Salt Lake to Helena, MT. The seats are so small and close together that I could not avoid seeing the magazine the 20-something, attitude-ridden, blonde was reading in front of me.
I have no idea which women's magazine she was reading. It could have been Glamour or Cosmo but the content was so offensive, I had to complain to the Flight Attendant.
On one page headed by a large, red rose were two articles in column. On the left, in 28 point type, was one entitled, "Now I have my period. What can I do?" Below that in bolded paragraphs were suggestions I shudder to to imagine. On the right of the same page, in 40 point type was a headline reading, "Coming Off the Rag." (I was editor of my HS Newspaper, I know type sizes.) I looked away for quite a while but when I looked forward again, there was a photo of a scantily-clad couple in bed headed by, "What to do to him, before you do him."
At that point, I couldn't take it anymore and complained to the FA. He asked her to close her magazine and she turned around and said, "Hey a$$hole, what right do you have to complain about what I read?" I politely replied, "Ma'am, if were reading Playboy or Hustler on this airplane, wouldn't you be offended?"
She said, "Yeah, but those are MEN's magazines. This is a Women's Magazine. It's completely different."
After that, there was silence as the plane went on final approach and landed. I made no eye contact as we debarked and immediately went to the parking lot to retrieve my car prior to going to baggage claim. I pulled up to Baggage Claim right behind a white piece of Jap Crap with a Kerry sticker, from which the same blonde bimbo bounced and headed inside.
Now comes the good part. I pulled up within 4 inches of her back bumper so she couldn't access her trunk, turned the stereo up to 50*, got out and locked the doors. The CD playing was "Korn's Greatest Hits." Between not being able to access her trunk, the bass track from Korn and the rumbling of the V-8 from the GTO, with a Bush sticker, I'm certain that she was seriously inconvenienced. I could have cared less.
*Secret Garden: 50 is the Blaupunkt equivalent of "11." /Spinal Tap reference
Good rant. Are you off base? No. Hehheh, you handled it well.
Oh good grief, and such a charming young lady she was too.
EWWWWWWW
Bonus points awarded if the track playing at the time was A.D.I.D.A.S *snickers*
It was the first four tracks of Greatest hits "Word Up, Another Brick in the Wall, Y'all Want a Single, and Right Now."
Oh geez, for a minute there, I thought you were playing Floyd. I despise that band.
My home computer is finally fixed. I fried the motherboard...and the father board. Dell sent a technician out. He replaced the power source, CPU, memory chips and motherboard. Basically everything except the hard drive. Works great.
I was driving the cute little muscle car, not the Monster Truck. Had I been in the Avalanche, she might have come out of the terminal to a completely different scene.
Very amusing rant...should be more like it! Most cars that I see with Kerry stickers are barely being held together with bumper stickers. Your descriptions of the people driving these cars is just perfect, I have yet to seen a Kerry sticker and a flag on any of these cars. Bonus points if your GTO is a 1969 Judge...my brother had one back in high school...great car!
Sorry, no bonus points. It's a 2004 Model, 40th Anniversary. Just as sporty. I wanted one in high school but my parents vetoed it.
The acceleration will rip the fillings out of your teeth. The speedometer goes up to 200.
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