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I'M MAD AS HELL

Posted on 11/29/2004 4:58:50 AM PST by KINGEDWARDIII

And I'm not sure if I can take it anymore!!


TOPICS: Agriculture
KEYWORDS: airingmydirtylaundry; barfly; drphilsucks; frgoing2dogs; igetmyadviceinbars; ilovemenotmykid; ilovevanities; lackofdiscipline; lousyparentadvice; mydaughtertheidiot; mykidownsme; pussywhippedbywomen; shellprobgetpregnant; spankyourkidnow
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To: Coop

Since you haven't let us know why or when you got a divorce when you and your wife had a dependent daughter, or if you stayed around to help to raise and teach her, my only advice would be to see your lawyer.


41 posted on 11/29/2004 5:58:55 AM PST by Daveinyork
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To: KINGEDWARDIII
It is my understanding that unless you provide support for your daughter you can't claim her as a dependent.

When my stepson was doing his undergrad work he had a part time job. But because he lived with us rent free, he qualified as a dependent until he was 23.
42 posted on 11/29/2004 6:00:55 AM PST by LuLuLuLu (Loud pipes save lives.)
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To: KINGEDWARDIII
I think your heart is in the right place.

Yours will be too....Time and distance have a way of healing most wounds..... The sin-thing is her's to deal with....it's between her and God.

The Lord knows, I have made my mistakes.....then again, these mistakes are between Him and I.....I a comfortable with that....

43 posted on 11/29/2004 6:01:01 AM PST by cbkaty
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To: KINGEDWARDIII

You don't want advice. You want someone to condone YOUR behavior. As Judith said, you are heading for a fall. Good luck to you.


44 posted on 11/29/2004 6:02:11 AM PST by bonfire
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To: KINGEDWARDIII

Hang in there King.


45 posted on 11/29/2004 6:02:52 AM PST by stainlessbanner
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To: KINGEDWARDIII


Did you just call me a liar? Dear Ann died a few years back, and the column is now called "Annie's Mailbag". I runs in my local paper and I've been reading it every day for over thirty years. It originates from the Chicago Tribune, I believe, and you can just toddle right over there and sign up for yourself.

Dear Ann was around before the Internet. Her common sense and solid American ideals were of great benefit to me as a parent. Every once in awhile, she would print up the "red herrings" and laugh at herself, saying that those boys at Yale must have alot of free time. I'm sure many women remember her good advice.

This story was printed in the new "Rainbow" version, and I recall this because I made a point of showing to my husband. Between our three children, we've paid for one prep school, six colleges/universities, one sorority and one fraternity.
Final score...two out of three are college graduates!


46 posted on 11/29/2004 6:03:50 AM PST by ishabibble ((Toronto is a suburb of Somolia))
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To: Sloth

That one set my beeber off, too.


47 posted on 11/29/2004 6:04:49 AM PST by Smokin' Joe (I'm from North Dakota and I'm all FOR Global Warming! Bring it ON!)
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To: KINGEDWARDIII

Talk to a lawyer, not to us.


48 posted on 11/29/2004 6:10:00 AM PST by thoughtomator (The Era of Old Media is over! Long live the Pajamasphere!)
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To: LuLuLuLu

I can claim her as a dependant as long as she is enrolled in college full time. I provide health insurance and have claimed her for many years even though she has never lived with me. Also just for conversation's sake, I have always paid support and mantained contact with her. I did take off on her mother (and her I guess by proxy) because her mom was completly stupid. Also, in my youth I made many many mistakes, but the point is that I would feel guilty if I didn't makes some kind of a stand. The idea is that if you love your kids you want them to avoid mistakes even if you have made the same mistake. My father died when I was 5 and I never had anyone around to tell me when I was screwing up. I would have loved to have had someone kick my ass even at the age of 19.


49 posted on 11/29/2004 6:10:08 AM PST by KINGEDWARDIII
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To: KINGEDWARDIII

Kids don't ever learn from their parents mistakes. Pay her tuition....she's gonna need an education....just don't pay her RENT.


50 posted on 11/29/2004 6:13:09 AM PST by bonfire
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To: ishabibble

OK, thanks for the info. You caught me. I'm just sitting here at the nuclear power plant making up stories that to some, make me look bad, while I should be watching the monitor for the reactor temp. I'm not calling you a liar, if anything you are the savior of this thread, thank you. Your wisdom has changed me profoundly. Your husband must be very happy having you as a wife.


51 posted on 11/29/2004 6:16:16 AM PST by KINGEDWARDIII
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To: ishabibble

OK, thanks for the info. You caught me. I'm just sitting here at the nuclear power plant making up stories that to some, make me look bad, while I should be watching the monitor for the reactor temp. I'm not calling you a liar, if anything you are the savior of this thread, thank you. Your wisdom has changed me profoundly. Your husband must be very happy having you as a wife.


52 posted on 11/29/2004 6:16:31 AM PST by KINGEDWARDIII
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To: KINGEDWARDIII
I would have loved to have had someone kick my ass even at the age of 19.

How old are you now?

You might tell your daughter that you love her (if you do), that whatever she and her mother think, you are concerned for her welfare (if you are) and that she puts herself in a vulnerable position if she lives with someone she isn't married to...you might tell her that in some ways, she will always be your little girl, and that you feel protective, as any normal father does...

Nah. Never mind. With your pugnacious attitude, you'd probably just end up making things worse.

53 posted on 11/29/2004 6:16:41 AM PST by Judith Anne (Thank you St. Jude for favors granted.)
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To: Judith Anne

Judith you make it all sound so simple. Kind of like Ross Perot. Just pop the hood and fix it. And yes there is no way around it, I am venting my frustation. I am airing my dirty laundry.


54 posted on 11/29/2004 6:20:01 AM PST by KINGEDWARDIII
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To: KINGEDWARDIII
I did take off on her mother (and her I guess by proxy) because her mom was completly stupid.

Is that grounds for divorce in your state?

55 posted on 11/29/2004 6:27:25 AM PST by gg188
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To: KINGEDWARDIII

Here's something for you to consider:

After having you, with all your mistakes, for a father, maybe she is justifiably very wary of legally tying herself to someone who might turn out to be just like you. Maybe she'd like to "live in sin" for a while to be sure that the man she thinks she loves isn't another jackass like her dad.

So, while you're venting, you might reconsider flinging insults at posters who offer the advice your asking for. And you might tell your daughter this:

"Honey, I love you and I'm concerned for your welfare. I know I wasn't the best father, that's not your fault. I'll pay your tuition for the time being, while I think over whether or not I want to continue doing that much longer. I'm not sure I do. When you feel up to it, please give me a phone call or drop me a note, so we can talk things over."

And you might consider something else--your daughter and this young man might break up. At that point, you have an opportunity to be loving, supportive, and change the direction of her life in a safer direction. Remember: flies, honey, vinegar.


56 posted on 11/29/2004 6:30:37 AM PST by Judith Anne (Thank you St. Jude for favors granted.)
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To: gg188
Maybe that was a little harsh, I apologize.
57 posted on 11/29/2004 6:31:34 AM PST by KINGEDWARDIII
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To: KINGEDWARDIII
I suppose I could just drop her all together, but then I wouldn't be able to claim her as a dependent on my taxes. When I talk to her it's as if I'm nothing more than an inconvienance to getting her cash.

What an ironic juxtaposition of sentences.

For the record, I say cut her loose.

58 posted on 11/29/2004 6:31:37 AM PST by Sloth ("Rather is TV's real-life Ted Baxter, without Baxter's quiet dignity." -- Ann Coulter)
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To: KINGEDWARDIII

Let's try to analyze this.

I agree about her lifestyle choice being openly immoral, at least by the standards of Red State Morality - the Judeo-Christian tradition. But I catch that the real key is her openness about it. If she was having sex with her boyfriend before this decision, then isn't it really the public nature of this that is so galling? The personal part is, she knows how you feel, she still throws it in your face, and she still expects you to keep up your generous support. What a slam, in my opinion.

This young lady and you are very far apart, in your relationship, and it didn't begin just now with her unfortunate, recent behavior.

About the tuition...I think you should try to separate the decision from a narrow focus on the living with her boyfriend situation. Look at the widest possible scope here. What else does she do, or not do, that shows you if she is maturing in her adult responsibilities? She is young, but since she is depending on others for support, and since she is making very adult-level decisions, she needs to be held to certain expectations of increasing maturity. Can she work and contribute to her education, even a little? Can you then help her out some, but not foot the entire bill? Is her boyfriend a bum, a loser who will mooch off of her or her mother or you? If so, that is a very serious problem in itself.

Don't try to control her with purse strings, even though she is wrong, has hurt you, and you are angry. Instead, let her know you are concerned for her having a good life, whether in a good relationship with a man or in her education/career etc. Make it clear she is going against your moral values, but you understand they are yours not necessarily hers(sadly). Say you want her to make good decisions and mature in her ability to show responsibility in life. Gently remind her that she is not yet an independent actor in life, as she still depends on others to support her, whether financially or emotionally, therefore she should try to maintain happy relationships with those she expects to be "in her corner".

And tell her that you will try, with all your heart, to maintain a happy relationship with her, because she is your flesh and blood, and you will always love her.

If you feel unable to tell her this face to face, why not tell her in a hand-written letter?


59 posted on 11/29/2004 6:34:34 AM PST by txrangerette
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Comment #60 Removed by Moderator


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