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Woman finds penis in tomato sauce bottle
AFP | 2.13.05

Posted on 02/13/2005 12:51:56 PM PST by ambrose

Woman finds penis in tomato sauce bottle

February 13 2005 at 05:50PM

Stockholm - A Swedish woman said on Sunday that she had found a penis in a bottle of ketchup.

Viktoria Ed said she was lucky enough to discover the organ before putting the sauce on her bread rolls, unlike her husband Stefan and their children, Madeleine and Simon.

"It looked like a penis, of an adult if it's human, and medium sized," she said.

"It's disgusting. The top of the bottle was intact, as if it had just left the factory. We would like to know how this thing ended up in a ketchup bottle."

The Godegaarden brand ketchup was made in Turkey and distributed in Sweden by the company Axfood. The shop where the ketchup was bought on Friday has thrown out the rest of its stock.

"I will never buy this brand again, it's finished," vowed Ed.

Police have taken the object for analysis. - Sapa-AFP


TOPICS: Food; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: ketchup; sweden
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1 posted on 02/13/2005 12:51:56 PM PST by ambrose
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To: ambrose

"I will never buy this brand again, it's finished," vowed Ed."


Really?


2 posted on 02/13/2005 12:53:21 PM PST by cripplecreek (they call me tater.)
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To: ambrose
Ithought you were supposed to put the ketchup on your hot dog.
3 posted on 02/13/2005 12:54:22 PM PST by pipecorp (I am, therefore, I think...so, what happens when I'm done thinking ?)
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To: ambrose

Heinz. Didn't we hear that she cut off her Kerry?


4 posted on 02/13/2005 12:55:42 PM PST by ProudVet77 (Survivor of the great blizzard of aught five)
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To: pipecorp

I'm a little curious about the size of the opening on the bottle.


5 posted on 02/13/2005 12:55:47 PM PST by cripplecreek (they call me tater.)
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To: martin_fierro

ping.


6 posted on 02/13/2005 12:56:41 PM PST by ambrose (...)
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To: cripplecreek

I hear it can get cold in sweden, that might explain some of it. ;^)


7 posted on 02/13/2005 12:58:50 PM PST by pipecorp (I am, therefore, I think...so, what happens when I'm done thinking ?)
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To: pipecorp

tick..... tick..... tick.... tick... tick....LOL


Took a minute.


8 posted on 02/13/2005 1:00:19 PM PST by cripplecreek (they call me tater.)
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To: ambrose

She calls it her "tomato sauce bottle?" Ewwwwwww


9 posted on 02/13/2005 1:00:29 PM PST by Living Free in NH (o)(o)
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To: ambrose
"It looked like a penis, of an adult if it's human, and medium sized," she said.

That evaluation didn't take long.
10 posted on 02/13/2005 1:00:35 PM PST by Dallas59 (Bush said the "F" word 27 times January 20th, 2005!)
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To: mhking

Ping.


11 posted on 02/13/2005 1:02:19 PM PST by Springman
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To: Dallas59

"it's human, and medium sized,"


But was it circumsized?


12 posted on 02/13/2005 1:02:36 PM PST by cripplecreek (they call me tater.)
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To: ambrose
According to Occam's Razor, this story is a cry for attention and fraudulent.
13 posted on 02/13/2005 1:03:34 PM PST by Publius6961 (The most abundant things in the universe are hydrogen, ignorance and stupidity.)
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To: ambrose

Wasn't there a similar instance of this happening to someone else, and then it turned out that the "penis" was just mold or something in that shape?


14 posted on 02/13/2005 1:04:04 PM PST by xm177e2 (Stalinists, Maoists, Ba'athists, Pacifists: Why are they always on the same side?)
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To: cripplecreek
But was it circumsized?

It's the JOOS!

15 posted on 02/13/2005 1:05:33 PM PST by Tijeras_Slim
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To: ambrose
The Godegaarden brand ketchup was made in Turkey and distributed in Sweden by the company Axfood.

ROFLMAO!!

Axfood??

This deserves a Just (EWW) Damn bump!!

16 posted on 02/13/2005 1:06:36 PM PST by MamaTexan (I am NOT a *legal entity*!)
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To: ambrose

Well, when the Man shakes hands with someone and makes his penis disappear, it has to go somewhere.


17 posted on 02/13/2005 1:08:32 PM PST by ichabod1 (The Spirit of the Lord Hath Left This Place)
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To: ambrose

"It looked like a penis, of an adult if it's human, and medium sized," she said."

LOL. Medium sized. LOL


18 posted on 02/13/2005 1:09:23 PM PST by nuconvert (No More Axis of Evil by Christmas ! TLR)
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To: ambrose

I guess that prize was better than a plastic 'diamond' ring.


19 posted on 02/13/2005 1:10:47 PM PST by nuconvert (No More Axis of Evil by Christmas ! TLR)
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To: ambrose
"...and distributed in Sweden by the company Axfood"

I think something besides 'food' got 'axed'.

20 posted on 02/13/2005 1:12:08 PM PST by RightOnline
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To: ambrose
The Godegaarden brand ketchup was made in Turkey and distributed in Sweden by the company Axfood.

Isn't that a subsidiary of Heinz? ;)
21 posted on 02/13/2005 1:13:18 PM PST by holymoly ("A lot" is TWO words.)
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To: holymoly

I can't believe I'm even reading this...I keep looking for the P line...(smirk)


22 posted on 02/13/2005 1:17:17 PM PST by SE Mom (God Bless our troops.)
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To: Publius6961

Seems fishy to me too.


23 posted on 02/13/2005 1:18:38 PM PST by Enterprise ("Dance with the Devil by the Pale Moonlight" - Islam compels you!)
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To: ambrose

hehehe


24 posted on 02/13/2005 1:20:35 PM PST by F14 Pilot (Democracy is a process not a product)
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To: Living Free in NH

I'll leave it to you to decypher this fragment:

"before putting the sauce on her bread rolls"


25 posted on 02/13/2005 1:23:36 PM PST by kenth (I love the smell of burning troll in the morning.)
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To: ambrose

Lacking photographic evidence, this case is lacking!
Could be just a misdirected Vienna Sausage. Teeney Wheeneys in a can!
I have always wondered where the damned things came from.


26 posted on 02/13/2005 1:40:56 PM PST by SWAMPSNIPER
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To: SWAMPSNIPER

I just realized the full implications of this, and just checked things out, and, it ain't mine!
Could it be that We need serial nunmbers on these things, and a bit of "reasonable" registration?
"It is 11 P.M., do You know where Your Penis is"?


27 posted on 02/13/2005 2:07:36 PM PST by SWAMPSNIPER
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To: ProudVet77

LOL!!!!!!!!!!


28 posted on 02/13/2005 2:09:53 PM PST by Joann37
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To: ambrose

And I suppose the testicles were in the mustard?


29 posted on 02/13/2005 2:15:02 PM PST by pankot
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To: pankot
Probably a piece of gasket, or rubber from the processing equipment.Perhaps a piece of vegetation.

If it were a wiener, it would not likely be recognizable as such. Once disconnected, they sorta look deflated.

30 posted on 02/13/2005 2:23:05 PM PST by Cold Heat (What are fears but voices awry?Whispering harm where harm is not and deluding the unwary. Wordsworth)
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To: SWAMPSNIPER
Not exactly medium-sized but one might get a little confused in the heat of excitement....
31 posted on 02/13/2005 2:47:10 PM PST by Conservatrix (He who stands for nothing will fall for anything.)
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To: Conservatrix

LOL


32 posted on 02/13/2005 3:17:30 PM PST by nuconvert (No More Axis of Evil by Christmas ! TLR)
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To: ambrose
This has been a rough month for male genitals, There was the Welshman who cut his jewels off, the Brit who pulled off one of her boyfriends jewels with her bare hands, the cancer patient whose doctor removed the good testicle and left the cancerous one and now this.

I am being very careful for the rest of the month.

33 posted on 02/13/2005 3:21:50 PM PST by muir_redwoods
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To: ambrose
"It looked like a penis, of an adult if it's human, and medium sized," she said.

She seems to be well acquainted with the artifact, sort of an expert, really.

I'm curious what she did with the damned thing?

From my own perspective, if it fit into a ketchup bottle, I would say the little pecker is quite small.
34 posted on 02/13/2005 3:29:55 PM PST by Beckwith (I know Churchill, and Ward Churchill is no Churchill . . . he ain't an Indian either . . .)
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To: ambrose
Woman finds penis in tomato sauce bottle

Was it cocktail sauce?

35 posted on 02/13/2005 3:39:16 PM PST by ViLaLuz
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To: SWAMPSNIPER

BAAWAAHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...!! ROFLOL!!!!!


36 posted on 02/13/2005 3:43:03 PM PST by Osage Orange ("Political interest can never be separated in the long run from moral right" - Thomas Jefferson)
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To: Cold Heat
Once disconnected, they sorta look deflated.

And you have experience in this matter?

37 posted on 02/13/2005 3:44:02 PM PST by Osage Orange ("Political interest can never be separated in the long run from moral right" - Thomas Jefferson)
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To: Osage Orange

Yeah, saw some carnage in my younger days.


38 posted on 02/13/2005 3:48:33 PM PST by Cold Heat (What are fears but voices awry?Whispering harm where harm is not and deluding the unwary. Wordsworth)
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To: Cold Heat
Sorry about that........

I've worked in a few trauma units....I've seen some gruesome stuff, some odd stuff, and some funny stuff...But I've never seen that. Don't want to either.

FRegards,

39 posted on 02/13/2005 3:52:53 PM PST by Osage Orange ("Political interest can never be separated in the long run from moral right" - Thomas Jefferson)
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To: Osage Orange
Yes, I question her ability to ID the part without medical knowledge. That is why I think it was a penis shaped something or another that got into the sauce.

I guess that would indeed be cocktail sauce.

40 posted on 02/13/2005 3:58:15 PM PST by Cold Heat (What are fears but voices awry?Whispering harm where harm is not and deluding the unwary. Wordsworth)
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To: ViLaLuz

That was good.


41 posted on 02/13/2005 4:01:53 PM PST by Conservatrix (He who stands for nothing will fall for anything.)
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To: ambrose
Viktoria Ed said she was lucky enough to discover the organ before
putting the sauce on her bread rolls .... "It looked like a penis, of an
adult if it's human, and medium sized"

An observation based on her husband's....
42 posted on 02/13/2005 4:41:30 PM PST by mikrofon (Of course, of course)
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To: ambrose


King Missile - Detachable Penis

I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It's detachable.

This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
and the next morning I can't for the life of me
remember what I did with it.

First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
So I called up the place where the party was,
they hadn't seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time.

So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
I called a few people who were at the party,
but they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate.

I really don't like being without my penis for too long.
It makes me feel like less of a man,
and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.
After a few hours of searching the house,
and calling everyone I could think of,
I was starting to get very depressed,
so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.

Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place,
where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
I saw my penis lying on a blanket
next to a broken toaster oven.
Some guy was selling it.

I had to buy it off him.
He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.
I took it home, washed it off,
and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.

People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
but I don't know.
Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,
I like having a detachable penis.



43 posted on 02/13/2005 4:45:06 PM PST by dfwgator (It's sad that the news media treats Michael Jackson better than our military.)
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To: cripplecreek
"I will never buy this brand again, it's finished," vowed Ed."

Really?


What a ninny; one horribly traumatic and disgusting experience with a product and she gives up on it forever. Sheesh... /sarcasm
44 posted on 02/13/2005 5:17:02 PM PST by Welsh Rabbit
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To: Publius6961
According to Occam's Razor, this story is a cry for attention and fraudulent.

It does seem odd. It would require that someone at the bottling plant castrated themselves or someone else, possibly murdering them, which isn't going to happen quietly.
45 posted on 02/13/2005 5:24:13 PM PST by Welsh Rabbit
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To: Welsh Rabbit
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
46 posted on 02/13/2005 6:05:24 PM PST by cripplecreek (they call me tater.)
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To: Cold Heat
I guess that would indeed be cocktail sauce.

Undoubtedly...........

47 posted on 02/13/2005 6:45:29 PM PST by Osage Orange ("Political interest can never be separated in the long run from moral right" - Thomas Jefferson)
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To: ambrose

Axfood? The poor guy who lost it should have been suspicious of the name when he applied for a job there.


48 posted on 02/13/2005 6:48:16 PM PST by doug from upland (Ray Charles --- a great musician and safer driver than Ted Kennedy)
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To: ambrose

How did she know it was "medium" sized?


49 posted on 02/13/2005 6:50:20 PM PST by Doohickey ("This is a hard and dirty war, but when it's over, nothing will ever be too difficult again.)
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To: ambrose

Guess she missed the "free penis in every bottle" label...


50 posted on 02/13/2005 6:53:27 PM PST by Doohickey ("This is a hard and dirty war, but when it's over, nothing will ever be too difficult again.)
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