Skip to comments.A Good Laugh: (Leno/Letterman on the DC plane CRISIS)
Posted on 05/16/2005 7:26:55 AM PDT by pissant
Jay Leno: More facts coming out today about the evacuation of Washington yesterday. You all heard about that. White House reporters said they were immediately escorted to a more secure location in the basement. Except for CBS reporters. Bush had them moved to the White House roof.
Jay Leno: Did you know at the time of the alert, Dick Cheney was in the White House working, while President Bush was exercising in a park in Maryland? Shouldn't it be the other way around?
Jay Leno: You know the saddest thing about this whole evacuation? While the White House was being evacuated, John Kerry ran in and sat behind the desk.
Jay Leno: Today a flight from Paris to Boston was diverted to Bangor, Maine because a passenger's name showed up on the no-fly list. Did you ever notice every time there's a problem with a plane they force planes to go to Bangor, Maine? When did Maine become Devil's Island all of a sudden? Make them land in Texas. At least everybody there has a gun. They can shoot the guy.
David Letterman: How about that deal down in Washington yesterday, an airplane comes through restricted airspace over the White House and the Capitol, and they evacuated the White House and a big scare. And everybody is running and like crazy, but you know, Ted Kennedy, give Senator Kennedy a lot of credit. During the evacuation he stayed very cool. He said to the security guard, Cover me, I'm making a run for Hooters.
David Letterman: Nice to see that our government remains calm in a crisis. My God, I have seen less panic in a Godzilla movie.
David Letterman: Everybody, seriously, everybody was scared and the Bush twins were running, trying not to spill their margaritas.
David Letterman: But thank God it turned out to be a false alarm, and a very unusual situation. You know what it was, very strange situation. It was a student pilot who was in this country legally.
David Letterman: The pilot was completely lost, disoriented, so what he did, he just continued drifting along, hoping for the best -- no, wait a minute, that's President Bush.
David Letterman: Top Ten Thoughts Going Through Vladimir Putins Mind At This Moment (TV screen shows picture of Putin showing Bush how to drive Putins car, a 1956 Vulga): "10. Thats it turn the wheel left and the car goes left. 9. Hes getting the steering wheel sticky with taffy. 8. How can an adult get his necktie tangled around the gear shift? 7. I regret not making that 15-minute call to Geico. 6. Floor it, you dumb hillbilly. 5. At this point, would it be more dangerous to jump out or stay in? 4. This baby gets so much as a scratch, Im launching the nukes. 3. Id be better off letting Billy Joel drive this thing. 2. Not often you hear a grown man saying, Vrooom! Vrooom! 1. Why is his hand in my lap?
Conan OBrien: The President today, President Bush met with six central American leaders to discuss the new Latin American trade agreement. Isn't that good? Yeah. That was good. Yeah, things got off to an awkward start when Bush introduced them as the band, Los Lobos.
Conan OBrien: Yesterday, the White House and the Capitol building were briefly evacuated after a small plane drifted into restricted airspace. Yeah, things got very tense. Yeah, police chased down the plane and identified the pilot -- runaway bride, Jennifer Willbanks.
What I get from these lines is that Leno is a conservative and Letterman is a liberal.
I think they are both libs. Just Leno doesn't let it effect his jokes as much.
Leno can be pretty funny when he wants to.
Indeed. You need to visit the male dancer thread though...http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1404106/posts
Oh boy! I can only imagine. I'll go take a peek.