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geo.carlin
townhall ^ | 08-04-05 | geo. carlin

Posted on 08/04/2005 6:45:59 PM PDT by em2vn

George's Carlin's NEW observations

COWS

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington, and they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give them all a cow.

CONSTITUTION

They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it's worked for over 200 years and we! 're not using it anymore.

TEN COMMANDMENTS

The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a Courthouse!

You cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery" and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians! It creates a hostile work environment!

And Last but not least.....

George Carlin said it best about MARTHA STEWART. ..

"Boy, I feel a lot safer now that she's behind bars. O.J. Simpson and Kobe

Bryant are still walking around; Osama Bin Laden too, but they take woman in America willing to cook, clean, and work in the yard, and cart her ass off to jail."

"When the student is ready, the teacher will appear"


TOPICS: Society
KEYWORDS: carlin; constitution; cows; iraq; years
One can't be any more right than he is about this.
1 posted on 08/04/2005 6:46:00 PM PDT by em2vn
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To: em2vn

"Maybe we should give them all a cow."


ROTFLMAO Oh damn.


2 posted on 08/04/2005 6:47:51 PM PDT by cripplecreek (If you must obey your party, may your chains rest lightly upon your shoulders.)
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To: em2vn

Carlin actually said all this? I was under the impression that he's a flaming liberal.


3 posted on 08/04/2005 7:11:34 PM PDT by Terpfen (Liberals call the Constitution a living document because they enjoy torturing it.)
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To: em2vn

A home run!


4 posted on 08/04/2005 7:13:30 PM PDT by mtbopfuyn (Legality does not dictate morality... Lavin)
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To: em2vn

Hilarious stuff.


5 posted on 08/04/2005 7:22:17 PM PDT by Alexander Rubin
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To: Terpfen
Carlin actually said all this? I was under the impression that he's a flaming liberal.

Carlin's often attributed to things that appear in email-boxes.

I can't attest to the authenicty of this one, but one that floated around last year was NOT a George Carlin rant. (www.snopes.com) doesn't seem to have this one listed yet.
6 posted on 08/04/2005 7:26:49 PM PDT by birbear (Admit it. you clicked on the "I have already previewed" button without actually previewing the post.)
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To: birbear

Its, real saw him on HBO? He did say all that, had us rolling on the floor and slapping our knees.


7 posted on 08/04/2005 8:20:45 PM PDT by Bringbackthedraft (3 more months of snowbird free living.)
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To: Terpfen
I was under the impression that he's a flaming liberal.

You are under the right impression.

8 posted on 08/04/2005 11:52:25 PM PDT by Graybeard58 (Remember and pray for Sgt. Matt Maupin - MIA/POW- Iraq since 04/09/04)
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To: birbear
>>>I can't attest to the authenicty of this one, but one that floated around last year was NOT a George Carlin rant. (www.snopes.com) doesn't seem to have this one listed yet.

One often attributed to Carlin, the "Bad American" came from http://www.freerepublic.com/forum/a39b09d010a26.htm - our very own bootyist-monk created it in Sept. 2000.
9 posted on 08/05/2005 12:00:29 AM PDT by Keith in Iowa (Liberals...they're so quixotic - not to mention the #1 source of #2.)
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To: Keith in Iowa; All
George Carlin also called Barbara Bush a douche bag. What a despicable little coward. Carlin wouldn't lift a finger to defend this country but has the strength to insult the former 80 year old first lady behind her back. Some folks posting on this site may find this funny. I would like anyone who does to consider how funny this would be if someone called your wife/mother/daughter what Carlin called Mrs. Bush.
10 posted on 09/27/2005 2:36:55 PM PDT by wmileo
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