geo.carlin

townhall ^ | 08-04-05 | geo. carlin

[em2vn]

George's Carlin's NEW observations

COWS

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington, and they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give them all a cow.

CONSTITUTION

They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it's worked for over 200 years and we! 're not using it anymore.

TEN COMMANDMENTS

The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a Courthouse!

You cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery" and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians! It creates a hostile work environment!

And Last but not least.....

George Carlin said it best about MARTHA STEWART. ..

"Boy, I feel a lot safer now that she's behind bars. O.J. Simpson and Kobe

Bryant are still walking around; Osama Bin Laden too, but they take woman in America willing to cook, clean, and work in the yard, and cart her ass off to jail."

"When the student is ready, the teacher will appear"

[em2vn]

One can't be any more right than he is about this.

[cripplecreek]

"Maybe we should give them all a cow."


ROTFLMAO Oh damn.

[Terpfen]

Carlin actually said all this? I was under the impression that he's a flaming liberal.

[mtbopfuyn]

A home run!

[Alexander Rubin]

Hilarious stuff.

[birbear]

Carlin actually said all this? I was under the impression that he's a flaming liberal.

Carlin's often attributed to things that appear in email-boxes.

I can't attest to the authenicty of this one, but one that floated around last year was NOT a George Carlin rant. (www.snopes.com) doesn't seem to have this one listed yet.

[Bringbackthedraft]

Its, real saw him on HBO? He did say all that, had us rolling on the floor and slapping our knees.

[Graybeard58]

I was under the impression that he's a flaming liberal.

You are under the right impression.

[Keith in Iowa]

>>>I can't attest to the authenicty of this one, but one that floated around last year was NOT a George Carlin rant. (www.snopes.com) doesn't seem to have this one listed yet.

One often attributed to Carlin, the "Bad American" came from http://www.freerepublic.com/forum/a39b09d010a26.htm - our very own bootyist-monk created it in Sept. 2000.

[wmileo]

George Carlin also called Barbara Bush a douche bag. What a despicable little coward. Carlin wouldn't lift a finger to defend this country but has the strength to insult the former 80 year old first lady behind her back. Some folks posting on this site may find this funny. I would like anyone who does to consider how funny this would be if someone called your wife/mother/daughter what Carlin called Mrs. Bush.