Posted on 09/09/2005 4:46:07 AM PDT by Brainhose
Sure it's from several days ago but it is pretty good
Don't you just hate luke-warm coffee?
I think this cartoonist is a FReeper, and writing about the ability y'all have to steer a thread completely off topic.
That Cindy Sheehan is nuts! (SMN!)
What does this have to do with Natalee Holloway?
I should call my "The guys" ping list the TDS ping list for the Thread Diversion Specialists (youz guys!).
Bush's fault.
Ya know, cheese really binds me up as well.
Are you suggesting that I may derail perfectly good threads with bizarre non-sequitors?
Did I tell you about last Thursday when I took a bus from Philadelphia to Hazelton?
I walk up to the front door and there's this crazed crack addict who announces to me "I'm a boxing hero!" and throws a (weak) punch at my shoulder. Now, my first thought is "You know, it might be fun to whip this guy's a$$." but then it dawned on me that I was the only white guy there and maybe discretion is the better part of valor, so I just let it go.
Well, I get into line, and it's like what I imagine a welfare office to be like. First of all THREE times in a row, someone gets to the front of the line and goes into a daze. The ticket agent starts yelling "NEXT IN LINE!!! NEXT IN LINE!!!" and the retard just stands there. Everyone in line starts yelling "NEXT IN LINE!!!" So keep in mind, three times in a row meaning two people went from angered yelling into a daze immediately.
So, not only do they sell bus tickets, but they do Western Union too. So all these people are coming up refusing to wait in line, wanting to know where their fifty dollars is, nice class of people. Lot's of questions too, like the ticket agent will be able to explain why maybe your buddy only said he was going to send you the money so you could eat.
Better though was the woman who was trying to pay her phone bill there (why would the phone company take payments at a bus station, and why would you want to go there to pay it?) who started screaming at the ticket agent "I don't knows how to read or write, you fill this out, I gots to pay my phone bill!" Ah, who hasn't uttered that at least once in their lives?
So, I get my ticket and get on my bus. Now, mine was fine, people headed up to the north eastern part of PA. But the other buses were going to New York, leaving every 10 minutes.
I'm observing the 4:50 bus and the driver is closing the luggage bay and getting on the bus as he's late already. This woman comes up to him and grabs him. Starts screaming at him. He pushes her back and she grabs him again. He's trying to get on the bus and she's holding on to his leg, screaming. He's kicking her in the stomach, trying to loosen his leg but she's got a death grip on him. So he gives up and puts her luggage on the bus and lets her on.
He's scrambling back to the bus now and a guy I'll just call New York Goofball (NYGB) runs up and tackles him. He's screaming hysterically, he's got to get his bags on that bus. (Now, I'll just restate that it's now 4:54 and there's another bus leaving in 6 minutes) The bus driver shoves him and tries to get on the bus but NYGB wraps his arms around him from behind. Now, the driver is very adept at getting out of this kind of hold and slips free. Running onto the bus he slams the door on NYGB's arm. NYGB keeps trying to wrench the door open (BTW- did I mention this was the Philadelphia bus station and not the New Orleans Superdome? I did? Just checking.)
Well, now NYGB's girlfriend shows up and she's kneeling in front of the bus, hands clasped in prayer begging to get on the bus, but to no avail. Well, NYGB and his girl switch places quickly. She's now trying to peel the door open and he's hanging on the front windshield of the bus smashing his fist against it. The bus driver starts backing up and slamming on the breaks in an attempt to shake this pair off the outside of the bus, but to no avail.
Finally, this guy who works at the station nonchalantly walks up and literally rips NYGB's girlfriend off the door leaving her in a heap on the ground. Then he slowly walks to the front of the bus and NYGB loosens one hand to make a point to this guy like "hey, I'd just like to get on the bus, is there a problem?" and this guy rips him to the ground too. Now the bus tears off to New York.
Well NYGB and his girl are hysterical pleading their case with this guy who's just standing there stoic, arms folded, for about two minutes. Then he says something to them and points to another bus. I guess he said "Why don't you just get on the 5:00 bus?" Either way, they moped off and got on the next bus.
With God as my witness, I’ll never set foot in that bus station again.
Owl_Eagle(If what I just wrote makes you sad or angry,
I like cheese.
I should call my "The guys" ping list the TDS ping list for the Thread Diversion Specialists (youz guys!).
Anyone interested in getting on my STD ping list?
Owl_Eagle(If what I just wrote makes you sad or angry,
Do a Google image search on "keyra augustino"
You won't...my hand to God...be disappointed.
You'll find her soon enough. :)
El mejor sitio hasta ahora, que parece más oficial es videosdekeyra
And I did NOT stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.
SMN!
Si.
I'll keep looking, but the first site I went to, Foro Biboz, was all in Spanish, and the only Spanish I know is chúpame el nabo ("I would like to be your friend")
Owl_Eagle(If what I just wrote makes you sad or angry,
But not if anyone at work is looking over your shoulder. I swear, this girl has a back porch that makes Vida Guerra look as flat as a highway.
Was the cartoon a product of Intelligent Design or did it Evolve?
A wonderful contribution to the threads. Thanks for sharing your tale of woe from the bus station.
I wonder why FR went all quiet all of a sudden.
The guyz are probably still recovering. ;)
I'm afraid to ask what you have to do to get on that list.
reminds me of a joke... what's meaner than a pit bull with AIDS?
... the guy that gave it to him.
reminds me of a joke... what's meaner than a pit bull with AIDS?
... the guy that gave it to him.
LOL! I love that. Actually, I have rather a sophomoric attraction to AIDS jokes so I found it doubly funny.
Owl_Eagle(If what I just wrote makes you sad or angry,
Aids, as in Anal Injected Death Sentence?
My wireless card works at the airport.
Anal Injected Death Sentence?
JimRob FReepmailed me not long ago "asking" me to stop adding "vulgar" keywords to Mark Moford threads. He didn't say which ones were vulgar (he left it to my discretion???) but that may have been one of them.
One of the funniest things ever from the Family Guy "You Have AIDS"
Owl_Eagle
(If what I just wrote makes you sad or angry,
LLP
I apologize if that was vulgar. My mom, the RN told that one to me many moons ago.
I apologize if that was vulgar.
I'm clearly unable to determine what is or isn't vulgar, so I assume that appology was directed at anyone who stumbles (uninvited) on this thread and is upset.
Owl_Eagle(If what I just wrote makes you sad or angry,
Yeah, or to the mods.
Then you'll like this one...
Gay Bob goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run.
The doctor comes back and says, "Bob, I'm not going to beat around the bush. You have AIDS."
Gay Bob is devastated. "Doc, what can I do?".
Doc says, "Eat 1 sausage, 1 head of cabbage, 20 unpeeled carrots drenched in hot sauce, 10 Jalapeno peppers, 40 walnuts and 40 peanuts, 1/2 box of Grape nuts cereal, and top it off with a gallon of prune juice."
Gay Bob asks, "Will that cure me, Doc?"
Doc says, "No, but it should leave you with a better understanding of what your a$$ is for.
Then you'll like this one...
Gay Bob goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run.
The doctor comes back and says, "Bob, I'm not going to beat around the bush. You have AIDS."
IMG, I think you're probably the one that posted the joke a couple of weeks (months?) ago but our FRiend, JRBC pinged me to this particular joke on the Friday Silliness thread, and what's above was all that it took to have me in stitches.
I just wish that my kids didn't walk around yelling "You Have AIDS" to people who annoy them, but somehow, I blame that entirely on JBRC.
Owl_Eagle
(If what I just wrote makes you sad or angry,
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