MORFORD: God Does Not Want 16 Kids

San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 10/19/5 | Mark Morford

[SmithL]

Arkansas mom gives birth to a whole freakin' baseball team. How deeply should you cringe?

Who are you to judge? Who are you to say that the more than slightly creepy 39-year-old woman from Arkansas who just gave birth to her 16th child yes that's right 16 kids and try not to cringe in phantom vaginal pain when you say it, who are you to say Michelle Duggar is not more than a little unhinged and sad and lost?

And furthermore, who are you to suggest that her equally troubling husband -- whose name is, of course, Jim Bob and he's hankerin' to be a Republican senator and try not to wince in sociopolitical pain when you say that -- isn't more than a little numb to the real world, and that bringing 16 hungry mewling attention-deprived kids (and she wants more! Yay!) into this exhausted world zips right by "touching" and races right past "disturbing" and lurches its way, heaving and gasping and sweating from the karmic armpits, straight into "Oh my God, what the hell is wrong with you people?"

But that would be, you know, mean. Mean and callous to suggest that this might be the most disquieting photo you see all year, this bizarre Duggar family of 18 spotless white hyperreligious interchangeable people with alarmingly bad hair, the kids ranging in ages from one to 17, worse than those nuked Smurfs in that UNICEF commercial and worse than all the horrific rubble in Pakistan and worse than the cluster-bomb nightmare that is Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise having a child

as they suck the skin from each other's Scientological faces...

[arkady_renko]

Does the stuff this guy types actually pass through some sort of brain or does it flow directly out of his ass?

A_R

[Ursus arctos horribilis]

True, the father is a very successful businessman. Once able, the children are all taught responsibility and have jobs they perform in the home. Hell, the kids even helped buid their own home.

Large families are what made this country. Mo and his ilk prefer to kill off American kids by abortion, so they can have cheaply paid illegal aliens perform their yard and maid service needs.

[mrs tiggywinkle]

Yep. The children appear to be very happy, content in their circumstances, well dressed and well fed. The horrors.

[mrs tiggywinkle]

lol...don't sugar coat it - tell us how you really feel.

[Ursus arctos horribilis]

Oh come now, don't be reticent, tell us what you really think of the author? ;>)

[xcamel]

The author is the obvious antithesis of everything this family represents.

I guess it just sucks to be him.

[Marysecretary]

Hi, Mrs. T! I agree! I saw this family on a documentary and they are a fantastic group of people. What great parents and what great kids. They are being brought up to help their parents, to serve God, to be upstanding citizens. The writer is a jerk and probably hates men, women and children (smile). Love, Maryxxx

[Marysecretary]

Now, xcamel, why don't you tell us how you REALLY feel!

[Marysecretary]

They're Mormons, I believe, and if I remember correctly, homeschooled (not 100% sure of that, though). I admire them sooo much.

[Marysecretary]

I saw that too and am very impressed. Three almost did me in but these folks, wow! What a way to bring up kids. Admirable.

[TheSpottedOwl]

Gee Mark, does this mean that you don't support a woman's right to choose???

Hmmmm....

[Rummyfan]

Looks like a great family! As for Morford

Who are you to judge?

[Emmett McCarthy]

So this guy's pretty sure he knows what God wants, eh? Maybe, if he studies hard, he'll pass the idiot test next time it comes aroujnd.

[Rummyfan]

ROTFLMAO!

[Tax-chick]

Morford is just plain evil. If I ever happen to meet him, I'll make sure a baby poops on him.

[hattend]

Seems like Markie-poo is just jealous.

He's unhappy because sperm and fecal matter can't produce a child no matter how many times he tries.

[MarineBrat]

This article is nothing more than the author saying that he hates happy people because he's not happy. A sure sign of a pathetic loser.

[tertiary01]

It comes with the territory. Gays think they know better than God, self worship warps one's perspective.

[kenth]

"This article is nothing more than the author saying that he hates happy people because he's not happy. A sure sign of a pathetic loser."


That pretty much sums up the left. They apply socialism on all subjects, even happiness. They want everyone to be equally unhappy.

[SmithL]

The Morfordite frequently presumes to speak for God:

MORFORD: What God Really Told Bush

MORFORD: God Loves The 1974 VW Dasher

MORFORD: What's On Your iGod?