ROTFLMAO!
Posted on 12/22/2005 11:16:52 AM PST by EveningStar
The three-fold mission of DAMM of PA is to get mad mothers to stay at home and cook and clean where they belong, to stop drinking and driving because you might spill some, and to prevent other alcohol abuse like returning the keg before it's been emptied.
(Excerpt) Read more at user.pa.net ...
ROTFLMAO!
There is no excuse for drunks that get behind the wheel. We are all in agreement on that.
Making drinking jokes or jokes/humor about drinking to the point of being drunk is fairly harmless.
Just as I need to recognize my own sensitivies to people making deaf or hard of hearing jokes/humor others have their sensitivities. Sometimes its best not to engage anyone but instead just walk away. Getting angry/frustrated/passionate over it and directing it towards the wrong people does not help.
You don't realize how correct you are. Robert Woods Johnson is the major push (money) behind smoking bans, particularly in the hospitality industry (bars and restaurants) and it just within the past year or so took over control of MADD.
One of the original founders of MADD left in disgust over the directions it was taking and went to work for the Distilled Spirits Council, the trade association of the industry, operating their ressponsibile drinking campaigns.
Personally, you can have your glass of wine with dinner, and drive if you wish..
Or a six-pack..
But if you kill someone with a vehicle ( or anything else for that matter ) and there is alcohol in your system, I want a severe penalty..
Vehicular homicide combined with alcohol should be the same as pre-meditated murder... IMHO..
On the other hand, I vehemently object to "random stops" and "sobriety check points" set up by the police and highway patrols..
As far as I am concerned they are unconstitutional, and should be eliminated..
Don't forget getting the allowed BAC lowered so they can catch more people in their dragnets, thus claim drunk driving is even more of a problem, thus calling for a lowered allowed BAC, ad infinitum.
I am terribly sorry for your loss.
In California, you can have your licence suspended for 6 months on the first offense. That's if there's no accident, no speeding, no child in the car. I think that is extreme.
Now, I had an experience of my own on March 8 of this year. I got thoroughly smashed at a local pub and drove home. I was lucky. Nothing happened on the way home. However, my wife was understandably pissed at me. I haven't had a drop since. Now, I don't know whether or not I'll drink again but if I do, I hope I have enough sense not to drive.
This site is so wimpy, it's not even satire. What a waste of a funny idea.
Yes, but MADD has gone way beyond just proposing stricter drunk driving laws. They get their fingers into everything nowadays, typical overbearing mother instincts leading to nanny state type of stuff.
Two of my best friends were killed by a drunk driver less then 3 years ago. The guy is in Jail, and I'm glad because of it. But that doesn't mean I embrase everything MADD says.
Ping.
How many lives do they get to take before they are held accountable by the law?
I'm not denying they have done some good things.
I'm merely saying I think they've oversteped their bounds and I don't agree with some of what they do.
Point taken. But, for the sake of this discussion, how many lives does one get to put at risk because one decides he or she must drink & drive?
I don't like the sobriety checkpoints either, but I see nothing wrong with law enforcement waiting outside of bars to see who is so danged drunk that they have trouble even getting into their cars, much less driving. It would seem to me that this would be probable cause to stop them to see.
Why take the risk?
After looking at the new t-shirts, ours were definitely better. I hope they aren't trying to sell this as an original idea.
Having read the thread so far... I think the site is dam' funny, if I didn't get a chuckle out of stuff like this I wouldn't have signed up for the South Park ping list. Gotta have a warped sense of humor these days. You might enjoy this:
http://www.moderndrunkardmagazine.com/
"Scenes from the 2nd Annual Modern Drunkard Convention. Rum and Marriage Biting
satire by Dave Sipos. 8 Hours in a Barroom ..."
Ah that's just drunk talk, sweet beautiful drunk talk.
Barney Gumbal
I take a whiskey drink
I take a chocolate drink
and when I have to pee
I use the kitchen sink
Homer Simpson
Money gets ya one more round.
Drink it down, ya stupid clown.
Money gets you one more round then you're out on your ass.
Moe Szyslak
Oh no! What have I done? I smashed open my little boy's piggy bank, and for what? A few measly cents, not even enough to buy one beer. Wait a minute, lemme count and make sure... not even close.
Homer Simpson
Bartender, a bottle of bourbon. I just got a new liver and I’m breaking it in.
Colonel Antoine O'Hara (the Rich Texan)
Jeez, is that what I look like when I'm drunk?
Barney Gumbal
This is the stage we call, "Professor Barney" -- talkative, coherent, even insightful. Here's drunk Barney!
Homer Simpson (describing the stages of Barney's drunkeness)
I'm going on a bender to end all benders.
Krusty the Clown
He knows just how I like my martini - full of alcohol.
Homer Simpson
Duffman could use an eye-opener
Duffman
It's 1 AM (sigh). Time to spend some quality time with the kids.
Homer Simpson
We must have really painted the town last night. I have a pounding headache, my mouth tastes like vomit, and I don't remember a thing.
Ned Flanders
When I was seventeen
I drank some very good beer.
I drank some very good beer
I purchased with a fake ID.
My name was Brian McGee.
I stayed up listening to Queen.
When I was seventeen.
Homer Simpson
I'm worried about the beer supply. After this case and the other case - we only got one case left.
Barney Gumbal
I used to rock 'n roll all night and party everyday. Then it was every other day. Now I'm lucky if I can find half an hour a week in which to get funky.
Homer Simpson
My name is Otto. I like to get blotto.
Otto
Your honor, I'd like to represent myself. Drunken hicks of the jury...........
Homer Simpson
Smithers, this beer isn't working, I don't feel any younger or funkier.
Mr. Burns
Marge send the kids to the neighbors. I'm coming home loaded.
Homer Simpson
A-hem. Further to these beer I would like two of your finest cheapest cigars.
Kearny
Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies, and kids with fake IDs.
Homer Simpson
Acohol and nightswimming. It's a winning combination.
Lenny
To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems.
Homer Simpson
Not an election. Is that one of those deals where they close the bars?
Barney Gumbal
I'd rather have a beer
Than win 'Father of the Year'
Homer Simpson
Stop wallowing in self-pity. Now pull yourself together and come get drunk with us.
Karl
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose. It's how drunk you get.
Homer Simpson
Welcome to the sacred order of the Stonecutters who since ancient times have split the rocks of ignorance which obscure the light of knowledge and truth. Now let's all get drunk and play ping pong!
Number One
Toke as necessary. Warning: Objects may appear more edible than they really are.
Homer Simpson
Fruit rollups for Bart. Beer rollups for Homer.
Marge Simpson
Beer! How did you know?
Homer Simpson
Buy me a beer, two bucks a glass.
Come on, help me, I'm freezing my ass.
Buy me brandy, a snifter of wine.
Who am I kidding? I'll drink turpentine.
Barney Gumbal
I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.
Homer Simpson
You can't seriously want to ban alcohol. It tastes great, makes women appear more attractive, and makes a person virtually invulnerable to criticism.
Mayor Quimby
All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.
Homer Simpson
Thinking ain't drinking
Moe Szyslak
Who do I have to gum to get a refill?
Agnus Skinner
The college road trip. What better way to spread beer-fueled mayhem.
Homer Simpson
All right, Homey, you're overstimulated. As soon as we get you home, we'll get some beer into you, and then it's straight to bed.
Marge Simpson
You must love this country more than I love a cold beer on a hot Christmas morning.
Homer Simpson
I'm so drunk I can barely see, But it helps me get through another day,
My stomach is filled with haggis and ham, I've gotta go puke in some hay.
Groundskeeper Willie
Alcohol is my way of life, and I aim to keep it.
Homer Simpson
Ok, you have 6 liters of Blood and your blood is 80% Alcohol; how much alcohol do you have?
Duffman
Oh, well, of course, everything looks bad if you remember it.
Homer Simpson
Ok, class, today we'll be sitting quietly with the lights off, because teacher has a hangover.
Edna Krabappel
Ah beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel if you will.
Homer Simpson
1. The right to remain silent and refuse to answer questions.
2. The right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police.
3. The right to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future.
4. If they cannot afford an attorney, the right to have one appointed before any questioning.
5. The right to stop answering at any time until an attorney is present.
#2, I never said what rights.
Lighten up, it was a bit of humor like the web-sight.
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