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**** Official Friday Silliness Thread ****
Free Republic isn't free ^ | 01/06/2006 | It's Arthur

Posted on 01/06/2006 5:49:22 AM PST by BJClinton

Cool, the first OFST of the new year. My only standing resolution was to make no more resolutions and I've already broken it. *shrugs*



TOPICS: Cheese, Moose, Sister; Humor
KEYWORDS: beeber; biggerintexas; clicktoaddkeyword; cold; cowbell; dabears; draftday; friiiday; good2byoung; hookemhorns; login; morecowbell; official; ofst; omgwtfbbq; reggiebush; silly; streakover; stun; texas; tgif; uscchoke; ut; viking; vinceyoung; zot
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This is an old one but still a good one:

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.
For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with scissors lodged in his temple and tape over his mouth while he is on fire.

No further studies are expected.

1 posted on 01/06/2006 5:49:24 AM PST by BJClinton
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To: vipervomit; LiveFreee; Baynative; mattmullenix; MozartLover; blau993; ItsOurTimeNow; Chanticleer; ..

Happy New Year!


2 posted on 01/06/2006 5:49:37 AM PST by BJClinton (Hook 'em!)
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To: BJClinton

3 posted on 01/06/2006 5:51:14 AM PST by BJClinton (Hook 'em!)
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To: BJClinton

Top 5!

Happy Friday!


4 posted on 01/06/2006 5:51:33 AM PST by day10 (Wherever you come near the human race there's layers and layers of nonsense.)
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To: BJClinton

Top Ten!


5 posted on 01/06/2006 5:52:13 AM PST by Rummyfan
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To: BJClinton

Ahnold should be wrestling the bear.
Happy FridaY!


6 posted on 01/06/2006 5:52:17 AM PST by LongElegantLegs (Puppymillalicious!)
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To: BJClinton

Top 10. Happy New Year!!!


7 posted on 01/06/2006 5:53:10 AM PST by Auntbee
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To: All
You scored as SG-1 (from Stargate). You are versatile and diverse in your thinking. You have an open mind to that which seems highly unlikely and accept it with a bit of humor. Now if only aliens would stop trying to take over your body.

Coming on December 1, 2005:
Your Ultimate Sci-Fi Profile: which sci-fi crew would you best fit in? The Sequel

SG-1 (from Stargate)

100%

Moya (from Farscape)

100%

Serenity (from Firefly)

100%

Galactica (from Battlestar: Galactica)

81%

Enterprise D (from Star Trek)

75%

Millennium Falcon (from Star Wars)

63%

Nebuchadnezzar (from The Matrix)

44%

Bebop (from Cowboy Bebop)

25%

Which sci-fi crew would you best fit in? v1.0
created with QuizFarm.com
8 posted on 01/06/2006 5:53:17 AM PST by KevinDavis (http://www.cafepress.com/spacefuture)
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To: BJClinton

9 posted on 01/06/2006 5:53:21 AM PST by BJClinton (Hook 'em!)
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To: BJClinton

10 posted on 01/06/2006 5:55:10 AM PST by BJClinton (Hook 'em!)
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To: BJClinton

A young American man meets a young French woman going down an elevator in Paris. He speaks no French and she speaks no English, so he removes a piece of paper from his coat pocket and draws a dinner table and a bottle of wine. She shakes her head yes, and they have a wonderful meal. After dinner, he then draws a couple dancing and they have a wonderful evening of dancing and listening to an excellent Jazz ensemble. As they walk out to the street, she removes the paper from his coat and draws a four post bed. Of course, both were very excited at the prospect at hand, and as he took her back to her hotel, he just couldn't figure out how she knew he was in the furniture business.


11 posted on 01/06/2006 5:55:10 AM PST by Reaganesque
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To: BJClinton

Happy Friday!

My resolution is to drink more. I think I can stick to that one, although it'll be hard!


12 posted on 01/06/2006 5:55:18 AM PST by Hoodlum91 (DU is a reminder that half the population has below average intelligence.)
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To: KevinDavis
You scored as Serenity (from Firefly). You like to live your own way and do not enjoy when anyone but a friend tries to tell you that you should do different. Now if only the Reavers would quit trying to skin you.

Coming on December 1, 2005:
Your Ultimate Sci-Fi Profile: which sci-fi crew would you best fit in? The Sequel

Serenity (from Firefly)

100%

Nebuchadnezzar (from The Matrix)

63%

Bebop (from Cowboy Bebop)

56%

SG-1 (from Stargate)

50%

Millennium Falcon (from Star Wars)

44%

Moya (from Farscape)

31%

Galactica (from Battlestar: Galactica)

25%

Enterprise D (from Star Trek)

13%

Which sci-fi crew would you best fit in? v1.0
created with QuizFarm.com

Yar! Firefly kicks booty.

13 posted on 01/06/2006 5:56:59 AM PST by LongElegantLegs (Puppymillalicious!)
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To: LongElegantLegs; BJClinton; All
With your kind indulgence, I'm going to piggy-back on this thread, and pose a serious question,though one totally appropriate to the "sillyness thread"

Who will deliver the Democrat repsonse to the President's State of the Union address?"

Think about it? Take a guess?

I have no idea, but it shows just how inept the party is. Will it be Murtha, or the tag-team of Reid and Pelosi again? Hoyer, Dingell & Rangell?....Obama?..Name ONE Dem governor....Dean?...

We're gonna make some real gains this Novemeber..

14 posted on 01/06/2006 5:58:16 AM PST by ken5050 (Ann Coulter needs to have children ASAP to pass on her gene pool....any volunteers?)
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To: BJClinton; Morgan in Denver; Awestruck; Lancey Howard; MEG33; jennyjenny; Prime Choice; ...
A preacher went to his congregation to ask for a raise because his wife was expecting a baby. After much consideration and discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the preacher's family expanded, so would his paycheck.

These raises began to get expensive after six children, and the congregation held another meeting to discuss the preacher's salary.

There was much yelling and bickering about how much the clergyman's additional children were costing the church.

Finally, the preacher got up and spoke to the crowd. "Children are a gift from God," he said. Silence fell on the congregation.

From the back pew, a little old lady stood up and said, in a frail voice, "Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much, we wear rubbers."

And the congregation said ........... "Amen."

*****

15 posted on 01/06/2006 5:58:23 AM PST by beyond the sea ("If someone is callin' you from Al Queda, we want to know why.")
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To: BJClinton

Happy Chilly Friday in the South.

College football is over and the NFL is in full swing ping.


16 posted on 01/06/2006 5:58:43 AM PST by YouPosting2Me
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Comment #17 Removed by Moderator

To: Hoodlum91

Let me know if you need any help.


18 posted on 01/06/2006 6:03:11 AM PST by BJClinton (Hook 'em!)
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To: ken5050
Officially Reid/Pelosi. The Dems will keep Lieberman and Warner out of the public eye. Kerry will probably do his own thing and piss everyone off.

Re: Murtha, I live in the most liberal spot in Texas, but today on local talk radio everyone was ripping Murtha. He's toxic to the Dems.

If the economy is fine come November, the GOP will remain about the same and maybe even gain a few.
19 posted on 01/06/2006 6:06:59 AM PST by BJClinton (Hook 'em!)
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To: BJClinton; Diddle E. Squat
silliness:

Game over. Midway in the 4th quarter ................................... This is why Mack Brown will always be a loser.

2,075 posted on 01/04/2006 11:46:25 PM EST by Diddle E. Squat

;-)

20 posted on 01/06/2006 6:09:16 AM PST by beyond the sea ("If someone is callin' you from Al Queda, we want to know why.")
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To: beyond the sea

He should have asked them which child they wanted him to get rid of...


21 posted on 01/06/2006 6:09:53 AM PST by LongElegantLegs (Puppymillalicious!)
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To: BJClinton

Pelosi may well try to get the gig for herslf..to keep her position safe..BTW..congrats on the National championship!!


22 posted on 01/06/2006 6:09:57 AM PST by ken5050 (Ann Coulter needs to have children ASAP to pass on her gene pool....any volunteers?)
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To: BJClinton

ROFL..........


23 posted on 01/06/2006 6:10:19 AM PST by beyond the sea ("If someone is callin' you from Al Queda, we want to know why.")
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To: BJClinton

Happy Friday BJ

Don't our boys look great in above photos


WOOHOO TEXASSSSSSSSS NATIONALLLLLLLL CHAMPSSSSSSSSSS


24 posted on 01/06/2006 6:11:16 AM PST by PaulaB
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To: beyond the sea

in the top 25... cool...


25 posted on 01/06/2006 6:11:28 AM PST by JeffreyH ("Est Sularus oth Mithas")
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To: BJClinton
Hell just may have frozen over...

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us
26 posted on 01/06/2006 6:13:29 AM PST by BJClinton (Hook 'em!)
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To: ken5050
Who will deliver the Democrat repsonse to the President's State of the Union address?" ........ Think about it? Take a guess? ............ I have no idea, but it shows just how inept the party is. Will it be Murtha, or the tag-team of Reid and Pelosi again? Hoyer, Dingell & Rangell?....Obama?..Name ONE Dem governor....Dean?...

Is Ted Kennedy still standing up at that hour?

27 posted on 01/06/2006 6:13:34 AM PST by beyond the sea ("If someone is callin' you from Al Queda, we want to know why.")
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To: beyond the sea

LOL
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/1552441/posts

My Christmas Eve
Me | 1/05/2006 | Me


Posted on 01/05/2006 11:30:01 AM CST by najida

This is great


28 posted on 01/06/2006 6:15:49 AM PST by MEG33 (GOD BLESS OUR ARMED FORCES)
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To: beyond the sea; Diddle E. Squat

29 posted on 01/06/2006 6:16:11 AM PST by BJClinton (Hook 'em!)
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To: BJClinton

I scored:

Enterprise D (from Star Trek)

I rule.


30 posted on 01/06/2006 6:16:57 AM PST by ToddBush (http://www.sliceofthepie.net)
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To: Hoodlum91

Yo man I here ya bout dang ole drink more man.
Dang ole chug chug man, I tell you what.
Dang ole beers good for you man, dang ole talking bout WOOHH HHOOOHH man. Yep.


31 posted on 01/06/2006 6:17:07 AM PST by HOTTIEBOY (If the enemy is in shooting range, so are you.)
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To: BJClinton

Green M&M’s

My kids are eating M&M’s at the dining room table, and I see that they are sorting them by color. I asked them why they were doing that, and the response was that green M&M’s make you horny. I laughed at the kid and said something like “yes, like you kids could tell if your are more horny”.

Few days later, my wife, Attila and I are in Kmart wandering the aisles, when I spotted M&M’s. I threw 4 bags in the cart, just cause I’m a good guy.

On the ride home, a plot hatched.

The kids were out on dates, or what ever they did at night (they were like Dracula, only went out after dark.) Attila the wife and I very carefully opened the M&M packages and sorted them out by color. We put the green ones in one package, and the rest in the other packages.

We carefully resealed the bags, so nobody could tell they were opened.

A couple of days pass, and all the kids are home. Even a couple of strange ones, you know, from the neighborhood. I break out the M&M’s and pass the loaded bags to the kids. They start looking in the bags and find NO GREEN M&M’s!!!!

Attila and I are in the dining room, and we break out our bag, all GREEN!

We just spread them on the table, munching them and talking. Pretty soon, one of the kids notice we have all green.

I put on some slow music and Attila and I start dancing. Now, nothing embarrasses teenagers like their parents dancing. And it is a parents duty to give maximum embarrassment to teenagers.

A few minutes later, Attila and I gather up our green M&M’s and go off into the bedroom . We stay in there a little while, laughing and giggling so the kids can hear us.

Attila emerges from the bedroom, wearing high heels, carrying a whip, a dog collar and a chain. I come out wearing my pirate costume, three-cornered hat, eye patch, and the inflatable parrot on my shoulder. Lets just call the costumes Halloween costumes we kept in the bedroom, and not pursue that subject.

The kids were freaking out!!!! Especially since they had friends over.

A few days later, I caught one of the kids sorting the M&M’s. I asked him what he was doing and he said “I throwing away the green ones”.

There were a couple of drawbacks, however.

The bishop, who lives across the street, insisted that Attila and I go in for counseling. Very few kids came over to our house to visit after this happened.

And I get very strange looks during Halloween evening while wearing my costume.


32 posted on 01/06/2006 6:17:52 AM PST by Lokibob (Spelling and typos are copyrighted. Please do not use.)
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To: ToddBush

Happy Friday ToddBush!! Whoo Hoo. Come on 5:00.


33 posted on 01/06/2006 6:18:03 AM PST by Auntbee
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To: PaulaB

As Vince ran that last touchdown in my neighborhood exploded in cheering. When time expired a hell of a lot of left-over fireworks from New Year's Day were launched. Yeah, friggin awesome. Oh yeah, and the honking is still going on.


34 posted on 01/06/2006 6:18:17 AM PST by BJClinton (Hook 'em!)
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To: beyond the sea

Dean will do it.

from a half mile away.

with no amplifier.


35 posted on 01/06/2006 6:18:38 AM PST by HOTTIEBOY (If the enemy is in shooting range, so are you.)
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Comment #36 Removed by Moderator

To: BJClinton
No further studies are expected.
They needed a study to figure that out?

First Page.

-Eric

37 posted on 01/06/2006 6:23:38 AM PST by E Rocc
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To: MEG33
You're brother blows himself up and you'll still be out of water too." I also really, really, REALLY want a bath....so I'm willing to work with him.

I go home, take my bath and discover that the toilets now sound like B52's at take-off. And I now have one more story to tell our niece about her Uncle, the Man Without Fear (and too much beer).

*****

Very, very funny........... a story of perseverance.

If you have a water pick for your teeth, I wonder how that works now.

;-)

38 posted on 01/06/2006 6:25:44 AM PST by beyond the sea ("If someone is callin' you from Al Queda, we want to know why.")
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To: BJClinton
Ski season will soon be here, so here is a list of exercises to get ready

(Thanks to Grouchy Old cripple Blog) Pre Ski Exercises...

The ski season is not to far off...

This list of exercises will help you get ready...

Visit your local butcher and pay $30 to sit in the walk-in freezer for half an hour.

Afterwards, burn two $50 dollar bills to warm up.

Soak your gloves and store them in the freezer after every use.

Fasten a small, wide rubber band around the top half of your head before you go to bed each night.

If you wear glasses, begin wearing them with glue smeared on the lenses. Throw away a hundred dollar bill - RIGHT NOW!

Find the nearest ice rink and walk across the ice 20 times in your ski boots carrying two pairs of skis, accessory bag and poles. Pretend you are looking for your car. Sporadically drop things.

Place a small but angular pebble in your shoes, line them with crushed ice, and then tighten a C-clamp around your toes.

Buy a new pair of gloves and IMMEDIATELY THROW ONE AWAY!

Secure one of your ankles to a bedpost and ask a friend to run into you at high speed.

Go to McDonald's and insist on paying $8.50 for a hamburger. Be sure you are in the longest line.

Clip a lift ticket to the zipper of your jacket, get on a motorcycle and ride fast enough to make the ticket lacerate your face.

Drive slowly for five hours - anywhere - as long as it's in a snowstorm and you're following an 18-wheeler.

Fill a blender with ice, hit the pulse button and let the spray blast your face. Leave the ice on your face until it melts. Let it drip onto your clothes.

Slam your thumb in a car door and don't bother to go see a doctor.

Repeat all of the above every Saturday and Sunday until you're ready for the real thing!

39 posted on 01/06/2006 6:26:25 AM PST by oldtimer2 (Liberal: a power worshipper without power....George Orwell)
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To: beyond the sea

OUCH!


40 posted on 01/06/2006 6:26:53 AM PST by MEG33 (GOD BLESS OUR ARMED FORCES)
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To: BJClinton

G'mornin!


41 posted on 01/06/2006 6:28:00 AM PST by Kate of Spice Island (Bid for my *Original* tagline on e-bay...)
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To: HOTTIEBOY

If Howie gives the response it would be a great bonus for the Republicans.


42 posted on 01/06/2006 6:28:27 AM PST by beyond the sea ("If someone is callin' you from Al Queda, we want to know why.")
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To: BJClinton

Nothing silly from me today. Just total seriousness. What about that Sharon dude in the hospital. What's up with that?


43 posted on 01/06/2006 6:29:25 AM PST by Maximus of Texas (On my signal, unleash Vincent Young.)
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To: oldtimer2

That's pretty funny...

When I was growing up, you could always tell the first weekend that the ski slope opened. The following Monday, at least 2 kids came to class on crutches. It would go up expotentially through out the season.


44 posted on 01/06/2006 6:30:35 AM PST by Hoodlum91 (DU is a reminder that half the population has below average intelligence.)
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To: BJClinton
Top 50!

You scored as Millennium Falcon (from Star Wars). The world around you is at war. Fortunately you know how to handle that with the greatest of ease. You are one of the best at what you do and no one needs to tell you that. Now if only the droids could be quiet for five seconds.

Coming on December 1, 2005:
Your Ultimate Sci-Fi Profile: which sci-fi crew would you best fit in? The Sequel

Millennium Falcon (from Star Wars)

69%

Enterprise D (from Star Trek)

63%

Nebuchadnezzar (from The Matrix)

63%

Serenity (from Firefly)

63%

Galactica (from Battlestar: Galactica)

56%

SG-1 (from Stargate)

56%

Bebop (from Cowboy Bebop)

50%

Moya (from Farscape)

44%

Which sci-fi crew would you best fit in? v1.0
created with QuizFarm.com
45 posted on 01/06/2006 6:32:36 AM PST by Chanticleer (Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point. Lewis)
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To: BJClinton

man, I'm home in Houston for the holidays and dont go back to UT until the 16th...how i wish i was there Wednesday night!!!

My neighbor called me from Austin and just held the phone out of his front door for me to hear the chaos...CRAZINESS!

HOOKED EM!


46 posted on 01/06/2006 6:34:05 AM PST by Zeppelin (Texas Longhorns === National Champions !!!)
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To: ken5050

I like an optimist!


47 posted on 01/06/2006 6:34:07 AM PST by Chanticleer (Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point. Lewis)
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To: Maximus of Texas
Apparently, he was CURSED.
48 posted on 01/06/2006 6:37:45 AM PST by LongElegantLegs (Puppymillalicious!)
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To: MEG33
Have a healthy and pleasant New Year Meg33. I gmust go feed the deer now................. so I'll see you later

By the way, I loved you in "When Harry Met Sally" ....... especially the deli scene where you 'faked it' for Harry. The older woman customer at the next table was hilarious when she was asked what she wanted to have to eat and she replied, "I'll have what she's having."

:-)

49 posted on 01/06/2006 6:37:51 AM PST by beyond the sea ("If someone is callin' you from Al Queda, we want to know why.")
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To: BJClinton
Check this (have to watch whole thing):

ALL your base!

Dan
Biblical Christianity BLOG

50 posted on 01/06/2006 6:39:13 AM PST by BibChr ("...behold, they have rejected the word of the LORD, so what wisdom is in them?" [Jer. 8:9])
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