Skip to comments.Top 10: Worst Pickup Lines Ever
Posted on 01/14/2006 10:24:24 AM PST by navysealdad
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weird ? I dunno....let's see your glasses
"Excuse me Miss...I seem to have misplaced my Congressional Medal of Honor. Have you seen it?"
Because it suggests commitment. No mystery about that one.
I'd like to see you out of that dress.
I'm wondering how that dress would look when thrown on my floor.
Congratulations! You've been voted "Most Beautiful Girl In This Room" and the grand prize is a night with me!
Do you wash your panties with Windex? Because I can really see myself in them.
Here's a quarter....call your roommate and tell her you won't be coming home tonight.
If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me spend some time up between the holidays?
Uh, oh. My parents met at a place like this. Let's get the hell out of here.
Baby, I'm an American Express lover.... you shouldn't go home without me!
'Would you like to come to a pants party?'....Brick, in 'Anchorman-The Legend of Ron Burgundy'.
I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I could make your bed rock!
If I said you have a hot body, would you hold it against me?
Honestly,do ladies really respond to a pick up line from a complete stranger?
1. "You're ugly but you intrigue me."
2. "Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you."
3. "I'm drunk."
4. "Hi, my friends call me Creepy."
5. "I just threw up."
6. "I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good."
7. "You have the face of a saint -- a Saint Bernard."
8. "Is that a false nose?"
9. "You'll do."
10. "Is that a tic-tac in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?"
"Wanna see the Captain's Log?" ~~James T. Kirk
"Well, that's a nice little bit of nothing you're almost wearing."
(delivered as nonchalantly as possible while sipping a vodka martini)
I have to know which pick up lines to avoid.
Btw, your Jeff Spicoli post on the 80's thread was good. "Fast Times" is an 80's classic; I've seen it many times. I love when he shows up to Mr. Hand's class with a bagel in his pants.
Are you O.K.? Because heaven's a long fall from here.
I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south.
Excuse me, but I think I dropped something!!! MY JAW!!
I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
Wouldn't we look cute on a wedding cake together?
Do you know karate? 'Cause your body is really kickin'.
Are you religious? Cause you are the answers to all my prayers.
Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Nope, it's just a sparkle.
If you were a laser, you'd be set on "stunning".
If you know a person's name: "Hi, [name]." How did you know my name? "Isn't every beautiful girl named that?"
Hi, I'm astronomer and I've been sent by the department to examine a heavenly body named XGY8... 6... 9'er... Er, wait. That heavenly body is you!
hehe If I wasn't married, I'd try a few out on you! Of course, you're in the frozen north, that would be quite a 'pickup'.
The Replies & Comebacks:
I'd love to, but...
1. I have to floss my cat.
2. I've dedicated my life to linguini.
3. I want to spend more time with my blender.
4. the President said he might drop in. (used before 2000)
5. the man on television told me to stay tuned.
6. I've been scheduled for a karma transplant.
7. I'm staying home to work on my cottage cheese sculpture.
8. it's my parakeet's bowling night.
9. it wouldn't be fair to the other Beautiful People.
10. I'm building a pig from a kit.
11. I did my own thing and now I've got to undo it.
12. I'm enrolled in aerobic scream therapy.
13. there's a disturbance in the Force.
14. I'm doing door-to-door collecting for static cling.
15. I have to go to the post office to see if I'm still wanted.
16. I'm teaching my ferret to yodel.
17. I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products.
18. I'm going through cherry cheesecake withdrawl.
19. I'm planning to go downtown to try on gloves.
20. my crayons all melted together.
21. I'm trying to see how long I can go without saying yes.
22. I'm in training to be a household pest.
23. I'm getting my overalls overhauled.
24. my patent is pending.
25. I'm attending the opening of my garage door.
26. I'm sandblasting my oven.
27. I'm worried about my vertical hold.
28. I'm going down to the bakery to watch the buns rise.
29. I'm being deported.
30. the grunion are running.
31. I'll be looking for a parking space.
32. my Millard Filmore Fan Club meets then.
33. the monsters haven't turned blue yet, and I have to eat more dots.
34. I'm taking punk totem pole carving.
35. I have to fluff my shower cap.
36. I'm converting my calendar watch from Julian to Gregorian.
37. I've come down with a really horrible case of something or other.
38. I made an appointment with a cuticle specialist.
39. my plot to take over the world is thickening.
40. I have to fulfill my potential.
41. I don't want to leave my comfort zone.
42. it's too close to the turn of the century.
43. I have some real hard words to look up in the dictionary.
44. my subconscious says no.
45. I'm giving nuisance lessons at a convenience store.
46. I left my body in my other clothes.
47. the last time I went, I never came back.
48. I've got a Friends of Rutabaga meeting.
49. I have to answer all of my "occupant" letters.
50. none of my socks match.
51. I have to be on the next train to Bermuda.
52. I'm having all my plants neutered.
53. people are blaming me for the Spanish-American War.
54. I changed the lock on my door and now I can't get out.
55. I'm making a home movie called "The Thing That Grew in My Refrigerator."
56. I'm attending a perfume convention as guest sniffer.
57. my yucca plant is feeling yucky.
58. I'm touring China with a wok band.
59. my chocolate-appreciation class meets that night.
60. I never go out on days that end in "Y."
61. my mother would never let me hear the end of it.
62. I'm running off to Yugoslavia with a foreign-exchange student named Basil Metabolism.
63. I just picked up a book called "Glue in Many Lands" and I can't put it down.
64. I'm too old/young for that stuff.
65. I have to wash/condition/perm/curl/tease/torment my hair.
66. I have too much guilt.
67. there are important world issues that need worrying about.
68. I have to draw "Cubby" for an art scholarship.
69. I'm uncomfortable when I'm alone or with others.
70. I promised to help a friend fold road maps.
71. I feel a song coming on.
72. I'm trying to be less popular.
73. my bathroom tiles need grouting.
74. I have to bleach my hare.
75. I'm waiting to see if I'm already a winner.
76. I'm writing a love letter to Richard Simmons.
77. you know how we psychos are.
78. my favorite commercial is on TV.
79. I have to study for a blood test.
80. I'm going to be old someday.
81. I've been traded to Cincinnati.
82. I'm observing National Apathy Week.
83. I have to rotate my crops.
84. my uncle escaped again.
85. I'm up to my elbows in waxy buildup.
86. I have to knit some dust bunnies for a charity bazaar.
87. I'm having my baby shoes bronzed.
88. I have to go to court for kitty littering.
89. I'm going to count the bristles in my toothbrush.
90. I have to thaw some karate chops for dinner.
91. having fun gives me prickly heat.
92. I'm going to the Missing Persons Bureau to see if anyone is looking for me.
93. I have to jog my memory.
94. my palm reader advised against it.
95. my Dress For Obscurity class meets then.
96. I have to stay home and see if I snore.
97. I prefer to remain an enigma.
98. I think you want the OTHER[your name].
99. I have to sit up with a sick ant.
100. I'm trying to cut down.
101. ... well, maybe.
"Sure, I'd love to come home with you. Let me just remember to take my Valtrex."
BTW, the bagel thing- reminds of Spinal Tap where Derek gets caught in the metal detector with the cucumber in his pants!
Oddly enough, this rejection makes them want you more!
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