Skip to comments.An American Tale: Hollywood Style
Posted on 03/06/2006 1:39:46 PM PST by tpierce98
This is the story of an American little girl. Lets call her Jake. She was born deprived and poor like the majority of Americans and lived in a ghetto. She had evil, heterosexual Christian parents. But an amazing transformation took place when those wicked parents imposed a gender on little Jake by buying her a barbi doll. She was so severely traumatized by this untoward affront that she became a Pimping Gay Transexual Cowboy Suicide Bomber.
This was no easy transformation, because she was poor. She had to move to California and commit a crime, pimping, so that she could enter the California Penal system and the taxpayers could pay for her operation.
When she got out, she met a man who would play a prominent role in her troubled life. He was George Looney. He was the son of a newscaster whos idol, Walter Crankbait, hated America and was in the position to punish America by slanting the news enough to make us lose a war. George was the nephew of a movie star who grew up in a pampered, opulent, lifestyle perpetuated at the expense of the exploited unwashed enslaved working poor. This made him mean.
Looney had a hatred of America that was palpable. His anger reeked of unfulfilled liberal dreams.
Jake learned from this man and hated America too. Unlike George, Jake had the nads (albeit silicone) to do something about it.
She drove her pimpmobile filled with TNT and blew up an oil refinery next to a Walmart then went to heaven. She was awarded 72 chaste cowboys. They spent their time drawing cartoons of whoever they wanted to since in heaven that was OK. The End.
I recognize Loony but, who does 'Jake' represent?
Jake Glyndahl the gay cowboy from the homo on the range movie.
This is pretty funny. I hope you don't mind if I sent it on to others.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.