Hospital asks Jesus to change name

The Local ^ | 3/23/2006 | James Savage

[Mike Bates]

Bosses at a Stockholm hospital have asked a nurse called Jesus to change his name, after concerns that it might cause confusion among patients.

According to Jesus, an auxiliary nurse at Huddinge hospital, his superiors were worried that patients told "Jesus will be coming soon ," might get the wrong idea.

"If they thought that Jesus was coming they might believe that they were already dead," the nurse told The Local.

Jesus, who will now use his middle name Manuel, said he didn't have a problem with the change.

"I understand why they wanted me to use my middle name," he said.

But, he added, "my name never usually causes me problems."

[Mike Bates]

Such compassion.

[thoughtomator]

If that were my name I'd be paranoid from all the people talking about me all the time.

[Southside_Chicago_Republican]

Nope, not The Onion.

[NonValueAdded]

I thought his middle name started with "H"

[Mike Bates]

If that were my name I'd be paranoid from all the people talking about me all the time.

But you'd know it's not you they're speaking of when the use (the unfortunate) Jesus H. Christ.

[CarrotAndStick]

But, he added, "my name never usually causes me problems."

So we have to pick one of them?

[Mike Bates]

Kindly see #5.

[YouPosting2Me]

LOL

[Mike Bates]

Someone must have told the lad adverbs would perk up his rhetoric.

[oyez]

Somehow Mel Brooks's waiter at the Last Supper comes to mind.

[Millee]

Now I have the song 'Levon' in my head.

[PBRSTREETGANG]

Good thing he didn't change his name to Lucifer.

[Mike Bates]

I had to Google "Levon" to find out it's a song by that manly man Elton John. Guess I'm not as hep as I once was.

[wallcrawlr]

thats nice he wouldnt have a problem changing his name.

i wouldnt expect him to do that.

it would be hard for me to call someone "Jesus" in the traditional english way. But I could call him "Jesus" (hey - sus) as the hispanics would say.

[Osage Orange]

Just call him Hey Zeus.....

That's what most So. Cal. folks call Jesus.

[Millee]

Levon, "Named his son Jesus, cause he liked the name."

I bet you'd recognize it if you heard it.

[Mike Bates]

I'll wager I wouldn't. The last album I bought was the Grass Roots Greatest Hits. Lotta good sounds.

[Rakkasan1]

reminds me of the joke about the Rottweiler, the parrot and the burglar.

[Mustng959]

"And he sends him to the finest schools in town"

[Mike Bates]

Late one night, a burglar breaks into a house. He tiptoes through the living room but suddenly freezes in his tracks when he hears a loud voice shrieking: "Jesus is watching you!"

Silence returns to the house, so the burglar creeps forward again. "Jesus is watching you!" the voice booms and the burglar again stops dead in his tracks. Frightened, he switches on his torch and looks all around the room. And there, over in a dark corner, he sees a parrot sitting on a perch. "Jesus is watching you!" says the parrot.

"Phew!" sighs the burglar, "That's a relief; I thought my conscience was working overtime! Who's a clever parrot then? What's you name?

"Bernard." replies the bird.

"Bernard? That's a stupid name for a parrot." sneers the burglar.

"Yes," replies the parrot, "and Jesus is a stupid name of a Rottweiler!"

[right right]

You know you just cannot make up stupidity as good as the real thing.

[beckaz]

Yes compassion and COMMON SENSE.

You know what would have happened here: advocacy groups picketing the hospital, lawyers suing for millions of dollars, and Nurse Jesus whining about his constitutional right to be called "Jesus"....

[nmh]

Well, they have a point ... but within the Hispanic community Hesus (spelling) means Jesus though spelled differently. IMHO, I believe God, Jesus and other names referring to Him in the Bible should be reserved for Him alone.

[Mike Bates]

Do they have a constitution in Sweden guaranteeing that? I know they have socialism, but not certain of much else.

[Lonesome in Massachussets]

There was a kid in my high school named Jesus Christ.

[Rakkasan1]

hey zeus, don't make it bad,
take a sad song and make it better.

[Millee]

Levon, "Named Calls his son Jesus, cause he liked the name."

[Mr. Brightside]

I wonder if the hospital would also ask a nurse named "Gay" to change her name...

"Who will be doing my x-rays?"

"You are getting Gay."

[Chewie84]

If his middle name was Manuel, maybe he could just ask that people call him "J.M."

[Mike Bates]

You're correcting yourself to yourself? I thought I was the only one who did that. Now I feel better. Thanks, Millee.

[stuartcr]

'he wants to go to Venus'

[stuartcr]

Yeah, he certainly shouldn't have the right to go by his name.

[Millee]

I'd rather correct myself then have some fine freeper point out the error of my ways. I know to handle me with kid gloves!

[stuartcr]

It's not spelled Hesus, It's Jesus...like the baseball player.

[mikrofon]

Neil could always go by his real name...

[livius]

Jesus - pronounced Heh-sús - is a common Spanish first name, and it is evident that this nurse is a Spaniard or Latin American (middle name is Manuel). There have been Spanish workers up there in Northern Europe for ages - but I bet I can guess who it was that complained. (Hint: Not Northern European natives.)

[lowbridge]

Nobody #%&* with the Jesus.

[Mike Bates]

I know to handle me with kid gloves!

Note to self: Keep for Millee's dossier.

[daku]

just this once couldn't the perents gave Jesus the middle name "Mohamed"?

[daku]

perents = parents ...

sorry Mom and Dad

[Mustng959]

"Leave Levon far behind...Take a balloon and go sailing, while Levon slowly dies. He was born a pauper to a pawn on a Christmas Day when the New York Times said God is dead and the war's begun......."
I don't like Elton's lifestyle but he did have some good songs and Levon has some terrific piano in it. Now "Saturday Night's All Right for Fighting" is a get on the dance floor and shake your booty kinda song.

[Osage Orange]

"Who will be doing my x-rays?" "You are getting Gay."

I knew of a Doctor in Calif. named Frankenstein....

"Who's doing my nose job"? Asked the patient. "Ummm...Dr, Frankenstein will be taking care of that, Sir."

[muir_redwoods]

We got a Christmas card one year from our newspaper delivery person (a 38 year-old guy in a minivan is not a "paperboy") and he signed the card "Jesus". My wife began to rant about what a silly and disrespectful joke it was to sign a card with the name "Jesus" until I reminded her that he was from Mexico.

It was an Emily Litella moment

[Mike Bates]

I was unfamiliar with Emily Litella. I really have become dependent on Google.

[stuartcr]

I could not care less about him, or his life, but when he was working with with Bernie Taupin, the music was unparalleled.

[SunkenCiv]

Sounds like he has a very unique problem. :')