I Am Going To Mexico (Satire Email/Vanity)

Private Email | 4/4/06 | unknown

[neodad]

I think this joke shows how absurd the current situation really is---

[neodad]

Dear President Bush:

I'm about to plan a little trip with my family and extended family, and I would like to ask you to assist me.

I'm going to walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico, and I need to make a few arrangements. I know you can help with this.

I plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do here.

So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Vicente Fox, that I'm on my way over? Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:

1. Free medical care for my entire family.

2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.

3. All government forms need to be printed in English.

4. I want my kids to be taught by English-speaking teachers.

5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and history.

6. I want my kids to see the American flag flying on the top of the flag pole at their school with the Mexican flag flying lower down.

7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.

8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to government services.

9. I do not plan to have any car insurance, and I won't make any effort to learn local traffic laws.

10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from Pres. Fox to leave me alone, please be sure that all police officers speak English.

11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.

12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, and don't enforce any labor laws or tax laws.

13. Please tell all the people in the country to be extremely nice and never say a critical word about me, or about the strain I might place on the economy.

14. Eventually I want to be able to vote and have all election materials and notices sent to me in English with Spanish as a second language..

I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all the people who come to the U.S. from Mexico.

I am sure that Pres. Fox won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely. However, if he gives you any trouble, just invite him to go quail hunting with your V.P.

[neodad]

Got this from a friend who's son just got back from Iraq. Funny, though sobering.

[yellowdoghunter]

LOL! So true, so true.

[3AngelaD]

15. I am going to begin a campaign to take over several Mexican states, bleed their taxpayers dry, and get them to leave the Republic of Mexico and become part of the United States.

[sully777]

The illegals are getting angry at the backlash from their protests. Their strongest critics are the african-americans. They are actually calling them racists too!

---

I'm having a Through The Looking Glass moment

[Timothy]

You might put in a line about opening up or buying your own business - it's illegal for gringos to own majority stakes in Mexican businesses.

[xarmydog]

If you want a cheap trip to a third world country,cross the bridge from El Paso into Mexico.You wont believe what you will see one half mile in.I only went to guard my wife while she went to a dental clinic.I am glad I did.The treatment I received trying to get back into my own country by a 'female Hispanic Border Patrol agent'made me vow to never do that again.Not only did it take one and a half hour to get back across the bridge,The crappy way we were treated made me a believer in staying home and open my wallet for a local dentist.[who sends his dentures to the same place to be made and charges 4 times as much!]

[A message]

NAILED IT.

Nothing more to add.