Be open to talking about sex

The Seattle Times ^ | Wednesday, April 26, 2006 | Nicole Brodeur

[Sopater]

It's 10 a.m. on a Saturday, and I am at the front of a room at the Phinney Ridge Neighborhood Center, explaining oral sex to a woman pretending to be my son.

I stammer and pause, go back over my words and Hate This, while the woman smiles. Your turn next, sister. Talking to our kids about sex is something we over-prepared parents just aren't prepared for. I changed the diapers, packed Gatorade and soothed all sorts of hurts, emotional and physical.

But preparing my 13-year-old son to be a sexual being? Explaining when and why, how and where? Sure, when he's 35.

Enter Amy Lang, a Seattle mother who hosts sex-education workshops called "Birds + Bees + Kids" to parents at PTAs, private homes and community centers.

Lang started our session by asking where we first heard about sex.

In health class. From friends. Older siblings. Dog-eared Judy Blume books like "Forever."

"What's missing?" Lang asked.

Our parents.

[snip]

Her Web site is www.birdsandbeesandkids.com

[Sopater]

And society isn't helping either, with abstinence-only curriculum, and birth control and abortion rights under constant threat.

I don't understand what's wrong with teaching children that there are serious consequences for deciding to have sex outside of marriage. I have yet to find any serious consequences from teaching "abstinence before marriage". The only real danger is in teaching abstinence and avoiding the subject of the consequences that a child is faced with when they choose not to abstain from sex before marriage. There are no "birth control" methods apart from abstinence that are 100% effective in preventing pregnancy or the transmission of STDs. Parents also need to teach their children that alternative forms of sex are not the same as abstinence. I agree that this is a delicate subject that is difficult for parents to deal with, but too many children today are engaging in dangerous sexual activity thinking that its not "really" sex. I teach my children that if you are considering doing anything with another person that requires someone to remove some of their clothing, its sex and it has consequences.

"For it seemed good to the Holy Spirit and to us to lay upon you no greater burden than these essentials: that you abstain from things sacrificed to idols and from blood and from things strangled and from fornication; if you keep yourselves free from such things, you will do well. Farewell."

- Acts 15:28-29 NASB

[Semper Paratus]

Better talk to your 13 year old before his teacher gets to him.

[weegee]

Sex Positive advocates abhor the teaching of abstinence because they find it to be "unhealthy" because the person does not act on sexual desires.

[martin_fierro]

* cough *

[Gordongekko909]

Better talk to your 13 year old before his teacher gets to him.

Considering several of the articles about teachers that show up around here, that's probably true in more ways than one.

[VRWCmember]

explaining oral sex to a woman pretending to be my son.

She couldn't tell that the woman wasn't her son?

[ClearCase_guy]

Better talk to your 13 year old before his teacher gets to him.

Nowadays, his teacher may try to discuss this topic -- but can she talk with her mouth full?

[Argus]

My parents never talked to me about sex and my only advice to my daughters on the subject was "Don't."

[Pessimist]

The thought of a boy's mother talking to him about oral sex creeps me out.

He'll be telling his psycho analyst about that one years from now.

[opus86]

they find it to be "unhealthy" because the person does not act on sexual desires.

I've heard more than one sex ed advocate make similar statements, as though just because we have the desire we ought to act on it. Simply ridiculous. If my desire is to shoot some idiot driver who just cut me off, should I then act on that, too?

[Hatteras]

I wish my kid's teacher would have a parent's class like that for us. You should see some of the moms! Ohhh yeah! Talk dirty to me, baby! ;-)

[linda_22003]

Well, if that's not a deterrent, what is?

[Old Professer]

I think this Lang lady ought to be checked out, anybody her age going around pretending to be a 13 year old boy may have a problem.

[Publius6961]

What's missing in this story?
A dad.

Sure a mom can do it, but that's a man's job where a son is concerned.

... donning nomex overalls ...

[VRWCmember]

I think it is the FATHER's job to tell his children about sex whether they are sons or daughters.

[xsmommy]

don't you have somewhere you need to be, instead of trolling for sex talks....? ; )

[xsmommy]

says the man with no daughters! LOL!

[VRWCmember]

Too true.

[NathanR]

So according to your definition, going swimming in the ocean would be sex, because it means removing clothing?

[cowboyway]

But preparing my 13-year-old son to be a sexual being? Explaining when and why, how and where?

I wonder how Monica is going to handle this?