1. You got ASSURANCE from the elders that he was the right person? Wow. How would they know?
Again, you got it wrong.
ADVICE, not assurance. NO ONE knows to the point of ASSURANCE how people really are. You wanted ADVICE. How about asking your own family, HIS family and friends, his boss, co-workers? They might have had more insight than the Church elders in that they might have known him better. Perhaps your girlfriend ASSURED you or ADVISED you that he was the right man. If so, they were all dead wrong. Strange that ALL of them were TOTALLY fooled by this one person. In fact, I really don't know if I believe you or not.
2. I have no "theory," just common sense. So I am right again and you are wrong again.
3. More insults. Your character, manners and upbringing, or your lack of them, ALWAYS seems to come through. Perhaps some people simply can't change some things.
4. And here come the excuses for bad behavior and sour words. Excuses for your bad manners....that is also learned behavior.
5. I don't know; I'm often wrong. It's just that with your logic, ideas and thinking, it's SO EASY to be right all the time. All it takes is common sense and life experiences. I AM oldish. I've been a teacher since 1969, 15 years with kids and the rest with college-age adults.
6. I never blamed the victim. But I know that. You simply refuse to read the words as I wrote them. It DID start with "I wonder." Lol. That is WONDERING, not blaming.
But, if you could read with your brain and not your emotions, you might have been able to "get it."
You might consider talking to someone with more experience and wisdom than just your girlfriend. Perhaps to one of those Church elders.
Remember, it's ADVICE you would like, not ASSURANCES. There are few assurances in this world. That too is common sense.