Posted on 07/29/2006 8:31:52 PM PDT by se_ohio_young_conservative
Ok, I want to propose. I dont know how to go about a ring. I want something cheap but nice. She is the nicest, most understanding woman on the planet, but I dont want to look like a cheapskate. I am not that rich. going into my life savings for this. any freepers have any advice.
I would like to propose on Canadian thankgiving in Oct. She lives in Toronto. plan to be moved in with her by Christmas *smile*
Congratulations...when I did it, I spent somewhere around $900 on the engagement ring, then about $1000 on the wedding band that goes with it.
Trust me, though...she won't really care how much you spend.
Costco or Sam's Club.
Still set you back some bucks, but you'll get a world-class ring.
If you are going to surprise her, at least pay attention to whether she likes yellow gold or white gold.
And ask some of your friends to look at her hands to give you an idea of what size you should get. (Small hands, a size 6, average hands a size 7 or 8, larger hands a size 9 or so.)
Congrats!
First of all spend some time observing what other jewelry types and styles she wears. Does she have a preference for gold tones or silver tones?
Does she dress chicly, traditionally, bohemian, etc. Try to figure this out, get your mom or sister to help you.
Next, think ebay and created diamonds or gemstones. Just avoid the too big, they just look fake cause only Liz Taylor has real diamonds that big. Ebay should give you a feel for discount jewelry prices, so when you are looking at comparable stuff in brick and mortar stores you will not be tempted to overspend. The mark up on jewelry is huge.
But a 1 to 1.5 carat created diamond in a high quality gold or platinum setting can be had for less than you imagine and look absolutely stunning.
DO NOT GO INTO DEBT for jewelry. If you make it big later in life, you can give her better for an anniversary down the road.
Another FReeper suggested Sams Club or Costco...excellent! BUT...make sure you study up on gem terminology (carat, cut, clarity, and how they rate the color of a diamond). Make sure whereever you buy you get a certificate of authenticity (or some from of validation of the stone's quality). Take note of what she wears (white or yellow colored jewelry)...does she like antiques or is she more contemporary? Really look at the size of her hands...rounds look good most as do ovals; marquise or pear shaped look better on longer, thinner fingers; princess (square cuts) are usually rarer in reasonably sized stones (around a carat or less). Make sure you see the diamond using an eye peice (look for carbon deposits call inclusions...they bring the value of the stone down). And...if possible, get the engagement ring with the matching wedding band...just because sometimes it is impossible to find a band that matches the engagement ring (after the fact).
Lastly, stay away (if your budget permits) from cubic zirconia. CZs are great, but an engagement (and or wedding ring) is worn daily and exposed to most of what your bride to be hands get into. The man made stones just don't stand up to the test of time like the real thing.
While you are right on most of your advice, I disagree on the CZ. I have a diamonique epiphany band, platinum over silver and I am a dog groomer. My hands are in harsh chemicals for a portion of each day and my ring, after a year or so is still brilliant and sparkling. I've told my boyfriend if we ever get married, spend the money on the metal, not the stone. Metal can be hocked. Most places wont give you much for the stone. Am I a cynic about marriage? Yepper!
LOL
If you really respect her, marry her before moving in. Hopefully that's what you intend, but it didn't seem that way to me. Much more important than the ring. Start your life together out respectably and you'll not regret it. There's my 2 cents worth, my Conservative head of house leader protector/provider gentleman FRiend.
bluenile.com has a good reputation and has rings of all price ranges. My friend's engagement ring came from there and compared to local stores, her fiancee got a great deal.
I'm very practical and hate to see you spend money you need for other things right now. My first engagement ring was teeny-tiny but I was very proud of it. Yep, you can get away with teeny tiny when your walking on clouds. Now, many years later I have some beautiful rings. A mothers ring, a diamond dinner ring, a combination wedding set where the band and engagement are one piece BUT they live in my jewelry box. I finally got what I always wanted last year...a pretty gold band I can wear all the time without worrying about popping a stone or getting it full of paint or dirt etc..
You might also look at Pawn Shops or newspaper ads (I've seen lots of rings advertised when couples break up).
Whatever you do I wish you two the very best.
aslong as we get married sooner than later, with it being a long distance realationship, ill need time to settle in.
Diamonds are actually quite common, and the tradition of a diamond engagement ring is a relatively young one created by DeBeers marketing.
The 'value' of a diamond reflects market manipulation. Do a little homework in this area and you'll be impressed with the way a demand was created for diamonds by creating this 'tradition'.
The actual worth of the ring is chiefly in the metal. Unless someone must slavishly follow the marketing 'tradition' [I hate the feeling of being manipulated to buy something.] you may want to consider a quality ring set with a quality stone of the young lady's preference--a more unique and personal choice.
sam's club.
Bluenile.com - absolutely. That's where my enagagement and wedding ring came from, as well as my husband's band. Great deal, great service.
When my husband proposed to me he got down on his knees and asked me without a ring. He told me that he wanted me to wear my ring for a looooooooong time, so he wanted me to be completely happy with it. I thought it was very sweet and thoughtful of him. He gave me the budget and let me start looking for what I wanted.
Don't worry if your budget isn't big. If your girlfriend is in love with you, then I'm sure she already knows you aren't made of money. I'd never gone looking for diamonds before, so it was a hard decision for me.
I was just looking at that bluenile website and it is great. You will have a lot of decisions to make about size and quality. Your girlfriend might be happier with a small perfect diamond or she might not really care about the quality and want a big dazzler. I think it would be fun for you to sit down at the computer together and see what the options are. Even if you don't get it from bluenile, it looks like it will give you a lot of useful info to help decide on diamonds elsewhere.
My husband and I had a long distance relationship. When he proposed we chose to make the date 1.5 months later rather than the 6-9 month customary planning. Our wedding was lovely...simple elegance. I discarded unecessary belongings and he moved what I owned to our new home - 500 miles away. We began our marriage and our new home fresh. I settled in after the honeymoon...gradually. It's been 18 years. He's a gem!
Speaking of gems. My comment above about our wedding being one of simple elegance? Same applies to an engagement ring, imho.
Determine her 'style' (clothing as well as jewelry) and purchase the ring accordingly. What type jewelry does she normally wear? Flashy? Simple lines?
Advice? You're too young to get married.
btw...I was 30.
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