Not if you kill them first.
Another stupid research project. The stress of dealing with others in omnipresent. Coworkers, neighbors, the public, people in the media, etc., etc.
A big AMEN to this one. But raising teenagers will do the same thing.
I quit a job in a bindery once because of the crack addicts working there. The owner was afraid he would be called a racist if he fired them.
Anyone who has ever worked with paper trimmers knows that they're dangerous enough without crackheads playing dangerous games while you're trying to operate the machines.
This is partly Micro$oft's fault for embracing political correctness. There is a way (obviously requiring lightyears more intelligence than these poor folks possess) to rename it to "Trash" or "Garbage" and apply it to every user profile.
HA HA HA HA HA! I'm going to have to remember this one!
An accountant in Passamaquoddy had a coronary when a secretary said she believed a story written in the Weekly World News.
I work in an office of 12 people. There are no divas...but a new employee had to put toner in the copier...I showed her how. She shook toner all over the wall, all over the copier, all over the floor.
The next day she said to me, "It is totally inappropriate for me to be dealing with the copier."
HUH?
These people don't realize that stupid coworkers are there to entertain you. For example, see if you really can get your PHB to try to re-boot his laptop by holding it upside-down over his head and shaking it.
I was lured, by the V.P. that I would make the difference in the operation and be running it within one year as he weeded out the nincompoops he inherited, when he hired on. He left six months after he hired me, because he couldn't get the owners to make moves on friends that they had running the operation, basically working part-time while getting a full time salary
It is the absolutely most frustrating thing I have ever had to endure.
I almost hate having to go to work on Mondays knowing I will have to straighten out, correct, redo almost everything that will happen tomorrow.
BTW, I'm looking to get out ASAP.
Too bad this isn't real. Back in typewriter days, mine was on the fritz and I hand-wrote a note to a client bigwig, gave it to my secretary to type it and said to send it to Mr. Bigwig. She did.
When I asked the next day why I hadn't gotten the letter to sign, she said she had already sent it. I asked if she signed my name to it, she said no. I asked why not. She said I had already initialed it. What? I never saw it. She said "You wrote it." What?
Turns out I hadn't TOLD HER to TYPE the letter. She sent the marked-out, messed-up, doodled-on draft.
IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.
The reason:
"Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!
I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."
From Kingman, KS.
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IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.
He was a Chef?
Yep...From Kansas City!
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IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, !
"Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?
To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"
He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
Happened in Birmingham, Ala.
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IDIOT SIGHTING:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when its safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine.
She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"
She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS
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IDIOT SIGHTING:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker.
She was leaving the company due to "downsizing."
Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often."
Not another word was spoken.
We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a bunch at Texas Instruments.
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IDIOT SIGHTING:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her own life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office no less.
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IDIOT SIGHTING:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "its open!"
His reply, "I know - I already got that side."
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, Mississippi!
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STAY ALERT!
They walk among us ... and they REPRODUCE
I need to win the lottery.
It's not the gun that kills, and It's never the question that's stupid.
Well, here's the antidote: rack your memory - most everyone you ever knew who died was a decent person, right? From here it necessarily follows that the scoundrels, of whom the world is full, live either forever or at least very long. When a stinker finally dies, his/her long anticipated demise etches itself into the memory of mankind and becomes a cause for celebrations [see Castro]. But such events are rare. Hence, by becoming a died-in-the-wool bastard [if one is not one such already] one could dramatically prolong one's life.