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Teacher Arrested
List | PRalstin

Posted on 09/05/2006 6:38:30 AM PDT by xzins

NEW YORK -- A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying "weapons of math instruction."

"Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzales said. "They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names, like 'x' and 'y,' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns,' but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the "axis of medieval" with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle.' "

When asked to comment on the arrest, 'cut 'n' run democrat spokesman Sen. John Kerry said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: education; generalchatroom; heynicelink; math; terrorism; wob; wot
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1 posted on 09/05/2006 6:38:31 AM PDT by xzins
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To: xzins

Bravo!!!!


2 posted on 09/05/2006 6:39:46 AM PDT by Gabz (Taxaholism, the disease you elect to have (TY xcamel))
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To: xzins

ouch.


3 posted on 09/05/2006 6:40:11 AM PDT by patton (Sanctimony frequently reaps its own reward.)
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To: xzins

IBTZ!


4 posted on 09/05/2006 6:40:43 AM PDT by sit-rep ( http://trulineint.com/latestposts.asp)
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To: RhoTheta

Pun ping.


5 posted on 09/05/2006 6:41:25 AM PDT by Egon (We are number one! All others are number two... or lower.)
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To: xzins

I've gottenn more than 10 copies of this in the last year.


6 posted on 09/05/2006 6:41:58 AM PDT by lawdude (There are limits to intelligence but none to stupidity... Hannity and Colmes)
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To: xzins

ROTFL. This is great.


7 posted on 09/05/2006 6:42:13 AM PDT by ShadowDancer (No autopsy, no foul.)
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To: lawdude

So now have 12. Your mom will be very proud.


8 posted on 09/05/2006 6:42:52 AM PDT by ShadowDancer (No autopsy, no foul.)
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To: xzins

Just goes to show you have to take Al gebra serious.


9 posted on 09/05/2006 6:43:43 AM PDT by AmericanMade1776
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To: xzins
Funny, but....

Nobody under 40 knows what a slide rule is.

10 posted on 09/05/2006 6:44:20 AM PDT by Condor51 (Better to fight for something than live for nothing - Gen. George S. Patton)
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To: xzins

Thanks for posting this under News under War on Terror and Extended News topics!!


11 posted on 09/05/2006 6:44:33 AM PDT by indcons (FReepmail "indcons" to get on/off the Military History ping list)
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To: xzins
Chaplain, (or should that be Chaplin? ;) this one is so old its fossilized bones show...

This is one of those jokes that follow geometric progression. First time you see it, the person who sent it to you is a wit. Second time, a half-wit. I've now seen it so many times it approaches an infinite series...
12 posted on 09/05/2006 6:52:13 AM PDT by Old Student (We have a name for the people who think indiscriminate killing is fine. They're called "The Bad Guys)
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To: Old Student; lawdude

You'd be surprised how often that gets spelled "Chaplin."

And, yes, I do have a mustache. :>)

Newbie for me and some other, but apparently an OldieButGoodie for others.

I just love slappin' the 'cut n runners' upside the head.


13 posted on 09/05/2006 7:06:28 AM PDT by xzins (Retired Army Chaplain and proud of it! Supporting our troops means praying for them to WIN!)
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To: Condor51

Thanks for reminding me how old I am


14 posted on 09/05/2006 7:08:45 AM PDT by sticker
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To: Corin Stormhands; P-Marlowe; blue-duncan; Revelation 911; Buggman; XeniaSt; Gamecock; Alamo-Girl; ..

ping


15 posted on 09/05/2006 7:09:41 AM PDT by xzins (Retired Army Chaplain and proud of it! Supporting our troops means praying for them to WIN!)
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To: Condor51

"Funny, but....
Nobody under 40 knows what a slide rule is."

We have a couple of them laying around, and in my library is a book on how to use them, just in case. We got them just before Y2K... even though it would have been a real problem to post on FR if we really needed them. ;)

(my wife is now older than 40, but wasn't then. I was, and still am, for some reason, but she's the one who got them.)


16 posted on 09/05/2006 7:24:58 AM PDT by Old Student (We have a name for the people who think indiscriminate killing is fine. They're called "The Bad Guys)
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To: xzins

LOLOL! Thanks for the chuckle!


17 posted on 09/05/2006 7:25:32 AM PDT by Alamo-Girl
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To: Condor51

Nobody under 40 knows what a slide rule is.

I would've thought the same thing but . . .

Maybe six months or so ago, Scientific American ran an article by Cliff Stoll on the history of the slide rule where he effectively said the same thing - the slide rule has gone the way of the dodo bird. A couple of issues ago, a mid-twenties Marine First Lieutenant Firing Officer in Fallujah wrote in saying that they're still using slide rules to check the solutions provided by their $40,000 targeting computer as well as a failsafe backup.

The slide rule will never die.


18 posted on 09/05/2006 7:25:44 AM PDT by redwhit
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To: xzins
"I just love slappin' the 'cut n runners' upside the head."

I can get behind that, and PUSH! Have a great week, I must now go finish my homework. Class tonight...
19 posted on 09/05/2006 7:26:18 AM PDT by Old Student (We have a name for the people who think indiscriminate killing is fine. They're called "The Bad Guys)
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To: lawdude
I've gottenn more than 10 copies of this in the last year.

So...you quit counting when you ran out of fingers?
Sorry couldn't resist!
20 posted on 09/05/2006 7:28:58 AM PDT by NonLinear (He's dead, Jim)
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To: xzins

I heard radicals were involved...

Many of their numbers are irrational....

Some of their functions have grown exponentially. but they are trying to get back to their roots...

Division is one of their primary tactics....

They claim only to seek equality...









21 posted on 09/05/2006 7:40:55 AM PDT by NonLinear (He's dead, Jim)
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To: Condor51

I've got a round one. You never go off scale!


22 posted on 09/05/2006 7:41:29 AM PDT by NonLinear (He's dead, Jim)
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To: xzins

What a hoot !


23 posted on 09/05/2006 7:55:59 AM PDT by Uri’el-2012 (Psalm 144:1 Praise be to YHvH, my Rock, who trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle.)
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To: redwhit

Slide Rules for us seasoned engineers were also called "slipsticks."


24 posted on 09/05/2006 8:39:53 AM PDT by TexasAggie65
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To: TexasAggie65

I remember. I was never an engineer but my dad was and insisted I learn how to use his (still protected and safely encased in the belt holster). As a kid I could never figure out the point when there were perfectly good $10 calculators all around.


25 posted on 09/05/2006 8:56:37 AM PDT by redwhit
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To: lawdude
I've gottenn more than 10 copies of this in the last year

Is that a binary 10 or a decimal 10?

26 posted on 09/05/2006 10:10:41 AM PDT by tx_eggman (The people who work for me wear the dog collars. It's good to be king. - ccmay)
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To: xzins

I will die before converting to the decimal system.


27 posted on 09/05/2006 11:21:27 AM PDT by reasonisfaith (Leftists will never stand up like men and admit their true beliefs.)
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To: All

Absolutely too freakin' funny!!!


28 posted on 09/05/2006 11:49:53 AM PDT by Jebster (aka; John in Dublin @ MarkLevinFan.com, The People's Republic of Levinites!!!)
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To: tx_eggman

Hexadecimal 10, in my case.


29 posted on 09/05/2006 11:50:15 AM PDT by Old Student (We have a name for the people who think indiscriminate killing is fine. They're called "The Bad Guys)
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To: xzins

They want to take over the world and make us all use the metric system.


30 posted on 09/05/2006 11:51:08 AM PDT by Long Island Pete
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To: Condor51

Think only-- ruler,calculator get recognition for that group....and I am not sure of 'ruler.'


31 posted on 09/05/2006 11:53:27 AM PDT by litehaus (What is the speed of dark?)
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To: xzins

Freemason?
Kidding.


32 posted on 09/05/2006 12:03:33 PM PDT by AliVeritas (Elites. Educated out of common sense. Deus Volt, the knights and dames are ready.)
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To: xzins

Very Clever!


33 posted on 09/05/2006 12:17:56 PM PDT by Vor Lady
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To: Condor51

Sad but true...


34 posted on 09/05/2006 12:18:46 PM PDT by Vor Lady
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To: Condor51

I'm under 40. I know what a slide rule is. Of course it used to belong to my dad.


35 posted on 09/05/2006 12:20:13 PM PDT by HungarianGypsy (Like food and fun? Join the Freeper Kitchen ping list.)
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To: xzins; nuke rocketeer
It all adds up. These terrorist groups are multiplying daily.

What is a "slide rule"?
36 posted on 09/05/2006 12:42:50 PM PDT by BJClinton (What happens on Free Republic, stays on Google.)
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To: sit-rep

You're not in before any zot, silly!


37 posted on 09/05/2006 12:45:29 PM PDT by DaveLoneRanger ("Good guys" aren't always "nice guys".)
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To: xzins

It turns out members of the Bin-Laden family were arrested the other day after the home team lost to the in-state rival.

Bin-Sobbin' and Bin-Cryin'.


38 posted on 09/05/2006 12:46:57 PM PDT by DaveLoneRanger ("Good guys" aren't always "nice guys".)
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To: BJClinton; xzins; Lucky9teen; najida; The_Victor; fredhead
And they have integrated very well into our society. It is difficult to differentiate between these terrorists and normal Americans.

A slide rule is an ancient calculating device. Also known as a slipstick

39 posted on 09/05/2006 12:57:39 PM PDT by nuke rocketeer
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To: BJClinton

I was also just log-ging on when you pinged me. Was his name Taylor and was he a series terrorist?


40 posted on 09/05/2006 12:59:15 PM PDT by nuke rocketeer
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To: nuke rocketeer
A slide rule is an ancient calculating device. Also known as a slipstick

I have my father's slide rule. The slider is corroded in place though. I want clean it up and learn how to use it.

41 posted on 09/05/2006 1:13:09 PM PDT by The_Victor (If all I want is a warm feeling, I should just wet my pants.)
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To: The_Victor
I want clean it up and learn how to use it.

Psst! That there computer yer typing on has a calculator built in! I'm series!
42 posted on 09/05/2006 2:46:02 PM PDT by BJClinton (What happens on Free Republic, stays on Google.)
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To: NonLinear
So...you quit counting when you ran out of fingers?

He can count to 11 with his shoes on...

43 posted on 09/05/2006 3:04:02 PM PDT by Doomonyou (Moderate Bumper Sticker: Bush Lied, Terrorists Died!)
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To: tutstar

ping


44 posted on 09/05/2006 4:36:46 PM PDT by Nightshift (Faith is something everyone has. The question is faith in what?)
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To: Tired of Taxes; DaveLoneRanger

We all need a laugh here and there!!


45 posted on 09/05/2006 4:38:21 PM PDT by tutstar (Baptist ping list-freepmail to get on or off)
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To: 2Jedismom; Aggie Mama; agrace; bboop; blu; cgk; Clintonfatigued; Conservativehomeschoolmama; ...
TIME FOR A JOKE...

Ping to the "Another Reason to Homeschool" list

This ping list is for the "other" articles of interest to homeschoolers about education and public school. If you want on/off this list, please freepmail me. The main Homeschool Ping List by DaveLoneRanger handles the homeschool-specific articles.

46 posted on 09/05/2006 10:25:50 PM PDT by Tired of Taxes (That's taxes, not Texas. I have no beef with TX. NJ has the highest property taxes in the nation.)
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To: Condor51

You just dated me...


47 posted on 09/05/2006 10:32:16 PM PDT by Prost1 (I get my news at Free Republic!)
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To: The_Victor

Most of the 20th Century advances were made using the Slide Rule.

After the Abacus, it is the most fundamental mathematical instrument known before the calculator.

Without it, there would be no calculator or Lunar Landing...

Think about that!

I have one from my father, dating to the 1940s in pristine condition (last time I checked).


48 posted on 09/05/2006 10:35:08 PM PDT by Prost1 (I get my news at Free Republic!)
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To: TexasAggie65
[Slide Rules for us seasoned engineers were also called "slipsticks."]


Jeez, that sounds like it could turn into one of those rambling Grampa Simpson stories he always tells Bart that begins, "Back in my day we used to wear an onion on our belt, because that was the style at the time, though it was one of those yellow onions, not one of the white onions, of course back then we called onions 'beets'...".
49 posted on 09/05/2006 11:20:23 PM PDT by spinestein (Please do not make illegal copies of this tagline.)
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To: redwhit

I keep one in my office, and use it occasionally too. I get some funny looks from some of the other engineers, but sometimes it is faster than a calculator and gives me all of the precision I need.


50 posted on 09/06/2006 3:03:57 AM PDT by P8riot ("You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone." - Al Capone)
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