Teacher Arrested

List | PRalstin

[xzins]

NEW YORK -- A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying "weapons of math instruction."

"Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzales said. "They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names, like 'x' and 'y,' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns,' but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the "axis of medieval" with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle.' "

When asked to comment on the arrest, 'cut 'n' run democrat spokesman Sen. John Kerry said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."

[Gabz]

Bravo!!!!

[patton]

ouch.

[sit-rep]

IBTZ!

[Egon]

Pun ping.

[lawdude]

I've gottenn more than 10 copies of this in the last year.

[ShadowDancer]

ROTFL. This is great.

[ShadowDancer]

So now have 12. Your mom will be very proud.

[AmericanMade1776]

Just goes to show you have to take Al gebra serious.

[Condor51]

Funny, but....

Nobody under 40 knows what a slide rule is.

[indcons]

Thanks for posting this under News under War on Terror and Extended News topics!!

[Old Student]

Chaplain, (or should that be Chaplin? ;) this one is so old its fossilized bones show...

This is one of those jokes that follow geometric progression. First time you see it, the person who sent it to you is a wit. Second time, a half-wit. I've now seen it so many times it approaches an infinite series...

[xzins]

You'd be surprised how often that gets spelled "Chaplin."

And, yes, I do have a mustache. :>)

Newbie for me and some other, but apparently an OldieButGoodie for others.

I just love slappin' the 'cut n runners' upside the head.

[sticker]

Thanks for reminding me how old I am

[xzins]

ping

[Old Student]

"Funny, but....
Nobody under 40 knows what a slide rule is."

We have a couple of them laying around, and in my library is a book on how to use them, just in case. We got them just before Y2K... even though it would have been a real problem to post on FR if we really needed them. ;)

(my wife is now older than 40, but wasn't then. I was, and still am, for some reason, but she's the one who got them.)

[Alamo-Girl]

LOLOL! Thanks for the chuckle!

[redwhit]

Nobody under 40 knows what a slide rule is.

I would've thought the same thing but . . .

Maybe six months or so ago, Scientific American ran an article by Cliff Stoll on the history of the slide rule where he effectively said the same thing - the slide rule has gone the way of the dodo bird. A couple of issues ago, a mid-twenties Marine First Lieutenant Firing Officer in Fallujah wrote in saying that they're still using slide rules to check the solutions provided by their $40,000 targeting computer as well as a failsafe backup.

The slide rule will never die.

[Old Student]

"I just love slappin' the 'cut n runners' upside the head."

I can get behind that, and PUSH! Have a great week, I must now go finish my homework. Class tonight...

[NonLinear]

I've gottenn more than 10 copies of this in the last year.

So...you quit counting when you ran out of fingers?
Sorry couldn't resist!

[NonLinear]

I heard radicals were involved...

Many of their numbers are irrational....

Some of their functions have grown exponentially. but they are trying to get back to their roots...

Division is one of their primary tactics....

They claim only to seek equality...

[NonLinear]

I've got a round one. You never go off scale!

[Uri’el-2012]

What a hoot !

[TexasAggie65]

Slide Rules for us seasoned engineers were also called "slipsticks."

[redwhit]

I remember. I was never an engineer but my dad was and insisted I learn how to use his (still protected and safely encased in the belt holster). As a kid I could never figure out the point when there were perfectly good $10 calculators all around.

[tx_eggman]

I've gottenn more than 10 copies of this in the last year

Is that a binary 10 or a decimal 10?

[reasonisfaith]

I will die before converting to the decimal system.

[Jebster]

Absolutely too freakin' funny!!!

[Old Student]

Hexadecimal 10, in my case.

[Long Island Pete]

They want to take over the world and make us all use the metric system.

[litehaus]

Think only-- ruler,calculator get recognition for that group....and I am not sure of 'ruler.'

[AliVeritas]

Freemason?
Kidding.

[Vor Lady]

Very Clever!

[Vor Lady]

Sad but true...

[HungarianGypsy]

I'm under 40. I know what a slide rule is. Of course it used to belong to my dad.

[BJClinton]

It all adds up. These terrorist groups are multiplying daily.

What is a "slide rule"?

[DaveLoneRanger]

You're not in before any zot, silly!

[DaveLoneRanger]

It turns out members of the Bin-Laden family were arrested the other day after the home team lost to the in-state rival.

Bin-Sobbin' and Bin-Cryin'.

[nuke rocketeer]

And they have integrated very well into our society. It is difficult to differentiate between these terrorists and normal Americans.

A slide rule is an ancient calculating device. Also known as a slipstick

[nuke rocketeer]

I was also just log-ging on when you pinged me. Was his name Taylor and was he a series terrorist?

[The_Victor]

A slide rule is an ancient calculating device. Also known as a slipstick

I have my father's slide rule. The slider is corroded in place though. I want clean it up and learn how to use it.

[BJClinton]

I want clean it up and learn how to use it.

Psst! That there computer yer typing on has a calculator built in! I'm series!

[Doomonyou]

So...you quit counting when you ran out of fingers?

He can count to 11 with his shoes on...

[Nightshift]

ping

[tutstar]

We all need a laugh here and there!!

[Tired of Taxes]

TIME FOR A JOKE...

Ping to the "Another Reason to Homeschool" list

This ping list is for the "other" articles of interest to homeschoolers about education and public school. If you want on/off this list, please freepmail me. The main Homeschool Ping List by DaveLoneRanger handles the homeschool-specific articles.

[Prost1]

You just dated me...

[Prost1]

Most of the 20th Century advances were made using the Slide Rule.

After the Abacus, it is the most fundamental mathematical instrument known before the calculator.

Without it, there would be no calculator or Lunar Landing...

Think about that!

I have one from my father, dating to the 1940s in pristine condition (last time I checked).

[spinestein]

[Slide Rules for us seasoned engineers were also called "slipsticks."]


Jeez, that sounds like it could turn into one of those rambling Grampa Simpson stories he always tells Bart that begins, "Back in my day we used to wear an onion on our belt, because that was the style at the time, though it was one of those yellow onions, not one of the white onions, of course back then we called onions 'beets'...".

[P8riot]

I keep one in my office, and use it occasionally too. I get some funny looks from some of the other engineers, but sometimes it is faster than a calculator and gives me all of the precision I need.