Grieving wife sliced off willy

The Sun ^ | 09/12/2006 | The Sun Staff

[BJClinton]

A WIFE aged 65 chopped off her dead husband’s willy in hospital — so she could keep it in a pickling jar as a souvenir.

Uta Schneider used a butcher’s knife to hack off the “treasured” manhood. She wrapped it in foil and put it in a lunchbox — next to gherkins.

But she was spotted by a nurse and arrested in Stuttgart, Germany. She is accused of mutilation.

Uta was wed to Heinrich, 68, for 35 years.

She told police: “It was his best asset and gave me so much pleasure.

“I wanted to pickle it for eternity — he would have wanted it. We called it his joystick. I wanted it to remember him by.”

[BJClinton]

"I'm not dead yet..."

[BJClinton]

You can't take your physical possessions to Heaven, right?

[Smedley]

Well, to be fair the guy wasn't going to using it any longer.

[Sax]

After 35 years of marriage she felt she had squatters rights to it.

[BJClinton]

squatters

I'm not gonna say it.

[Gordongekko909]

Oh. Em. Gee.

[dfwgator]

It's detachable! (Cue King Missile)

[Sax]

Yeah, figured I'd just let that one hang in the air...

[stm]

Uta Schneider

Bwahahahahahaha!

Schneiden is German for "to cut"

[martin_fierro]

Uta Schneider used a butcher’s knife to hack off the “treasured” manhood

Ich bin ein de-loiner.

[Integrityrocks]

I would have a difficult time being a judge in this matter trying to keep a straight face. You just can't make this stuff up.

[TheMole]

Definitely material for the Germany or Florida? series on the Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew radio show.

Although now that I think of it, seasoned players will be pretty able to identify this one as Germany.

[dirtboy]

She just wanted to make sure he wasn't going to have any sex in the afterlife until she got there.

[Slings and Arrows]

---

[Sax]

...and how dare she break up the 3 piece set.

(Not to be sold separately.)

[pissant]

I guess that's better than Bobbitt. She didn't wait for him to die.

[Sax]

Yeah, given the choice I'd sign up for the post-mortem harvesting.

[maggief]

Next to the gherkins?

[Toby06]

Reading your screanname right after that post made me laugh.

[PBRSTREETGANG]

My wife was considering this after my demise...but she didn't know where she'd keep the 50-gallon drum.

[Slings and Arrows]

Kosher Dills, baby!

[pissant]

LOL. Good way to put it.

[BJClinton]

It took balls for you to post that.

[cyborg]

ping

[Irish_Thatcherite]

A WIFE aged 65 chopped off her dead husband’s willy in hospital — so she could keep it in a pickling jar as a souvenir.

Why doesn't she have it stuffed? :-P

[maggief]

Or laminated!

;)

[BJClinton]

And what if she were to accidentally mistake the gherkins for the Herrwurst?

There's a Lewinski/Bobbit/Dahmer joke in there...

[SampleMan]

My wife was considering this after my demise...but she didn't know where she'd keep the 50-gallon drum.

She cut of his penis, not his imagination.

[stm]

She better not let it get moldy and turn green!

[Irish_Thatcherite]

How do you laminate a penis? ;)

[Sax]

That's the second time a post of mine has worked out like that - this time I didn't even notice it!

[maggief]

Congrats!

[Young Werther]

E-Mail Oprah the question and she can ask McGreevy the next time she has him on the sofa!

[BJClinton]

She cut of his penis, not his imagination.

PWN3D!

[PBRSTREETGANG]

I'm Irish, I'm long...

...on imagination.

[llevrok]

Next to the gherkins?

If they don't crunch, they're not fresh.....

[geezerwheezer]

Or invite former Gov. McGreevey over for pickles and beer!

[Irish_Thatcherite]

Oh... the answer was in your response! ;)

[CholeraJoe]

You gotta see this. SPL?

[maggief]

[Irish_Thatcherite]

Ah... I had a different slant on lamination:

I couldn't quite make the connection, there....

;)

[Sax]

These ween whackings are becoming more and more common.

We need an acronym.

I propose PPP - Player's Part Purloined

[llevrok]

I've been in a pickle...but never had one in me.

[WKB]

Is that a warning ping?

[WKB]

Now I know the meaning of "organ harvesting"

[Xenalyte]

Salacious Ping List ping! CholeraJoe is EN FUEGO lately!

[Slings and Arrows]

Why doesn't she have it stuffed? :-P

So it can be mounted?

[VOA]

The old lady had a good cover-story...she probably just wanted to make
sure he was really dead!

[Irish_Thatcherite]

Why doesn't she have it stuffed? :-P

==> So it can be mounted?

Yes, women like it on the table.....

[xJones]

Yes, women like it on the table.....

Your dinner parties must be fun....